by pinback » Mon Oct 25, 2021 4:28 pm
DJ Larry signed up for "ButcherBox", where they send you overpriced meat through the mail. He did this under the guise of "eating more fish". Unclear why he couldn't just go to the store, but knowing the prices there in Humboldt Co., it's probably cheaper to get it through the mail, even with a 200% delivery markup. (He cannot get a dozen eggs for less than $7 there.)
He gets some sockeye salmon -- the finest of all salmons -- in his first shipment. He asks me about preparation techniques, because we're chompin' on salmon on the regular over in these parts, since it's only $60-$70 per pound in the Buckeye State. Excited about my suggestions, he begins the thawing procedure.
But -- disaster! The next day he reports that he thought he only got two salmon fillet portions, but there were six in the box. He thawed the whole box! And showed me proof, by showing me a picture of his six shrink-wrapped sockeye portions sittin' out there on his counter, thawed as the day is long.
I said, no problem, sockeye for six days in a row (or three, if you have it for both meals, which I definitely could/would.) He says, it says use within 24 hours of thawing. I say, that's nonsense, refrigerate it and you're good to go.
THEN, almost JOKINGLY, because I noticed they were still shrink-wrapped, and I know that most (not all!) frozen fish you buy comes with an admonition (usually in tiny, tiny print) that you should remove the fish from the shrink-wrap before thawing (and never thaw at room temperature, but I'll get to that later), I say, hey, did it say to remove the shrink-wrap first?
Well, he said, yes, it DID say to do that, but he didn't bother. I said, huh, okay, well, don't worry, I don't believe what this webpage says, and I sent him a link to one of the many, many hysterical, ridiculous clickbait sites saying, omg if you thaw in the package, you might get BOTULISM and DIE.
He says darn, was really looking forward to this salmon.
I says, ha ha ha, good joke.
And the next thing he sends me is a photo of all six salmons, the finest fish on the planet, still in their shrink-wrap, now sitting cozily with each other in his trash can.
"You're kidding, right?"
He was not.
I have never been more angry at this man. That shit is not cheap, he does not make much money, and because of some bizarre phobia, he's thrown them all in the trash. Nothing would dissuade him. I pointed out that there are approximately 30 food-borne botulism cases in the entire country every year, and most of them are in Alaska. He said, "so, there's not a zero percent chance." This is a guy who has polluted his body with alcohol and other intoxicants on the daily for decades, has once again become overweight, is clinically depressed, but because he found out there was a 0.000001% chance he might die from botulism from these salmons, he tossed them.
I have done the two things the packaging demands you don't do -- thawing at room temperature, and thawing in the shrink-wrap -- approximately ten
billion times, and though I haven't kept close track, I believe my death count is still holding steady at zero.
The lawyers at the packaging place come up with a possible liability and write a warning about it on the packaging. Jackass clickbait webpage authors look it up and find out why the lawyers would have something to be nervous about and write a breathless, sensationalistic page about it. And this man who is very very concerned about his health except for the 23 hours and 59 minutes a day he is not throwing out perfectly good sockeye spends the rest of his time throwing away perfectly good sockeye.
Fuck you.DJ Larry signed up for "ButcherBox", where they send you overpriced meat through the mail. He did this under the guise of "eating more fish". Unclear why he couldn't just go to the store, but knowing the prices there in Humboldt Co., it's probably cheaper to get it through the mail, even with a 200% delivery markup. (He cannot get a dozen eggs for less than $7 there.)
He gets some sockeye salmon -- the finest of all salmons -- in his first shipment. He asks me about preparation techniques, because we're chompin' on salmon on the regular over in these parts, since it's only $60-$70 per pound in the Buckeye State. Excited about my suggestions, he begins the thawing procedure.
But -- disaster! The next day he reports that he thought he only got two salmon fillet portions, but there were six in the box. He thawed the whole box! And showed me proof, by showing me a picture of his six shrink-wrapped sockeye portions sittin' out there on his counter, thawed as the day is long.
I said, no problem, sockeye for six days in a row (or three, if you have it for both meals, which I definitely could/would.) He says, it says use within 24 hours of thawing. I say, that's nonsense, refrigerate it and you're good to go.
THEN, almost JOKINGLY, because I noticed they were still shrink-wrapped, and I know that most (not all!) frozen fish you buy comes with an admonition (usually in tiny, tiny print) that you should remove the fish from the shrink-wrap before thawing (and never thaw at room temperature, but I'll get to that later), I say, hey, did it say to remove the shrink-wrap first?
Well, he said, yes, it DID say to do that, but he didn't bother. I said, huh, okay, well, don't worry, I don't believe what this webpage says, and I sent him a link to one of the many, many hysterical, ridiculous clickbait sites saying, omg if you thaw in the package, you might get BOTULISM and DIE.
He says darn, was really looking forward to this salmon.
I says, ha ha ha, good joke.
And the next thing he sends me is a photo of all six salmons, the finest fish on the planet, still in their shrink-wrap, now sitting cozily with each other in his trash can.
"You're kidding, right?"
He was not.
I have never been more angry at this man. That shit is not cheap, he does not make much money, and because of some bizarre phobia, he's thrown them all in the trash. Nothing would dissuade him. I pointed out that there are approximately 30 food-borne botulism cases in the entire country every year, and most of them are in Alaska. He said, "so, there's not a zero percent chance." This is a guy who has polluted his body with alcohol and other intoxicants on the daily for decades, has once again become overweight, is clinically depressed, but because he found out there was a 0.000001% chance he might die from botulism from these salmons, he tossed them.
I have done the two things the packaging demands you don't do -- thawing at room temperature, and thawing in the shrink-wrap -- approximately ten [i]billion[/i] times, and though I haven't kept close track, I believe my death count is still holding steady at zero.
The lawyers at the packaging place come up with a possible liability and write a warning about it on the packaging. Jackass clickbait webpage authors look it up and find out why the lawyers would have something to be nervous about and write a breathless, sensationalistic page about it. And this man who is very very concerned about his health except for the 23 hours and 59 minutes a day he is not throwing out perfectly good sockeye spends the rest of his time throwing away perfectly good sockeye.
[url="https://www.suggest.com/the-deadly-reason-why-you-should-never-defrost-vacuum-sealed-fish"]Fuck you.[/url]