The Grass is Always Greener

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Expand view Topic review: The Grass is Always Greener

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by Casual Observer » Mon May 24, 2021 4:14 pm

While mowing my dad's lawn (for a measly $10, damn there's been some inflation in lawn cutting) I spent 90% of the time daydreaming about inventing a robotic lawn mower.

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by AArdvark » Mon May 24, 2021 3:52 pm

Just got a set of those bone conducting headsets so's I can listen to my radio shows, I know what you mean

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by pinback » Mon May 24, 2021 3:39 pm

My mowing time is the happiest part of my week. Listenin' to Neil, nobody barking at me or bugging me. Ahh, heaven.

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by Flack » Mon May 24, 2021 3:23 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Mon May 24, 2021 2:28 pm How's it going for people's lawns? Flack - you end up getting a guy? ChainGanGuy - that dude still doing it for $35?
I found a guy who does it for $50 and comes every other week. It is the perfect scenario -- in fact, I gave my riding mower away to a friend who said he could fix it up. Every other Wednesday my dude and his buddy pull up in front of my house with their truck and their trailer and do the whole 3/4 acre in about an hour. I'm the happiest boy in the world. I hope my lawn guy outlives me and we keep this arrangement for the rest of my life. Oh, also my wife pays him online so we never even talk to him. It's a perfect relationship!

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by AArdvark » Mon May 24, 2021 3:09 pm

Once a week is good enough for me. Got me a set of those GatorBlades, mulching blades so there's no trails of grass clumps. Exept when it's wet

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Mon May 24, 2021 2:28 pm

How's it going for people's lawns? Flack - you end up getting a guy? ChainGanGuy - that dude still doing it for $35?

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by Casual Observer » Sat May 04, 2019 10:03 pm

bryanb wrote: Sat May 04, 2019 8:48 pmMy personal approach to carburetors in anything is to just pretend that they don't exist, but that only takes you so far.
I'm so glad that it's been decades since I've had anything with a carburetor.

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by bryanb » Sat May 04, 2019 8:48 pm

ChainGangGuy wrote: Sat Apr 20, 2019 1:38 pm A few of us have mentioned the supposed, sensed ire of our neighbors. Are any of us troubled by it?
I for one am not. I admit that I probably don't care about my lawn as much as I should (or at least not as much as society would prefer), but my neighbor cares too much about his. It's bordering on obsession quite frankly. The way I see it, I'm just showing him another approach to life. I'm broadening his horizons one uncut blade of grass at a time. I just hope he doesn't start reading up on county statutes...

My lawn actually looks pretty good at the moment, but it won't last for long, particularly since my mower has decided to stop starting recently. I've changed the air filter and spark plug already this season so it may be the carburetor. My personal approach to carburetors in anything is to just pretend that they don't exist, but that only takes you so far.

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by Jizaboz » Sat Apr 20, 2019 11:25 pm

Wow am I wrong about how fast stuff grows in OK compared to NC. Too bad certain things are still illegal there because you could grow some huge tomato and pot plants there.

.GOV/MIB disclaimer: I have met Flack and he does not consume marijuana and he sure as shit doesn't consume raw tomatoes.

Current situation at my house: neighbor behind me still hasn't mowed this year and it just rained again. Good luck to him.
ChainGangGuy wrote: Sat Apr 20, 2019 1:38 pm A few of us have mentioned the supposed, sensed ire of our neighbors. Are any of us troubled by it?

Though the weather is considerably rainy and unseasonably cool this weekend, my neighbor (Nick) has carefully placed out several ornamental trees for planting in a row parallel to our property line, perhaps in an attempt to obscure their view of 5000 Pine Creek. I'm being out-of-sight-out-of-minded, here!
The neighbor to the right of me took forever to mow but the did. The one to the left of me has planted bushes surrounded by pink flamingos to block out the view of the neighbors to the right of me. Not making this up.

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by ChainGangGuy » Sat Apr 20, 2019 1:38 pm

A few of us have mentioned the supposed, sensed ire of our neighbors. Are any of us troubled by it?

Though the weather is considerably rainy and unseasonably cool this weekend, my neighbor (Nick) has carefully placed out several ornamental trees for planting in a row parallel to our property line, perhaps in an attempt to obscure their view of 5000 Pine Creek. I'm being out-of-sight-out-of-minded, here!

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by Flack » Fri Apr 19, 2019 6:40 pm

Well, I forgot to mention what the guy charged for the mowing.

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by Casual Observer » Fri Apr 19, 2019 4:26 pm

Flack wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 4:15 pm Well, today's story has a happy ending.
Nice story but not what I understand to be a "Happy Ending"

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by Flack » Fri Apr 19, 2019 4:15 pm

Well, today's story has a happy ending.

After work today I took the push mower out back and worked on the yard for an hour. It rained here both Wednesday and Thursday, so not only is the grass wet, but the weeds that were 6" tall are now a foot. The mower dies every 10 feet unless you go super slow and do wheelies and attack the weeds like you're Don Quixote.

So after an hour I'm about to die, so I take a break. Then the kid comes out, sees me on my death bed, and offers to take over. (I just found out that my wife told him she was turning off his internet until the lawn was done, so don't think there was any goodwill going on here.) Five minutes into his mowing, I look across the yard and see this:

Image

The neighbor either felt sorry for us or simply got tired of living next to the jungle book, and swooped in with his industrial zero turn monster and knocked out everything that was left in about ten minutes. Then he spent another ten minutes going over the parts I had done, which looked terrible compared to his part.

So, Good Friday, indeed.

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by Casual Observer » Fri Apr 19, 2019 3:22 pm

AArdvark wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 3:04 pm Hint: Jim Beam sometimes drives the lawn tractor while I simply watch.
Shit, I know that feeling except with a car.

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by AArdvark » Fri Apr 19, 2019 3:05 pm

He smells like peat and deep cherry quiche with a nose

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by AArdvark » Fri Apr 19, 2019 3:04 pm

Hint: Jim Beam sometimes drives the lawn tractor while I simply watch.

THE
DRIVER'S SEAT
AARDVARK

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by Casual Observer » Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:42 pm

This thread has gotten me thinking. Looking back, my time mowing the lawn was actually pretty relaxing. Yeah, it's hot and smelly and tiring but I could exist on autopilot, thinking about whatever I wanted (again, usually how could I automate this shit).

Grass cutting also led to my first beer. After finishing the mowing one day at age 15, my dad handed me one of his Beast's (milwaukees best for those who don't know the nickname). That was the start of my alcoholism and also I'm proud that over the next ten years I influenced my dad to not be so fucking cheap and buy some real beers.

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:14 pm

My father is a big lawn guy. It skips a generation though. His father (my paternal grandfather) died when my dad was 14 or so. I never met the man, obviously. My dad claims that he took to mowing because it was a prideful thing - he didn't want the neighbors to think that the family, which then consisted of his older brother, sister and mother, were in any sort of need when his father died.

I always accepted that, but typing it out, I think pops also just enjoyed mowing the lawn. I don't have kids but it is my understanding that mowing the lawn for an hour or two is also a great way to get away from the family. PASS THE SALT FAMILY!

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by Casual Observer » Fri Apr 19, 2019 9:23 am

ChainGangGuy wrote: Fri Apr 19, 2019 5:06 amVictor's method and patterns can be a bit more haphazard at times. The front currently features a chopped diagonal pattern, the back has a gnarled swirl pattern, as if he lost control of the riding mower momentarily or was deliberately recreating Van Gogh's 'Starry Night' in shades of rye grass, zoysia and dandelions. Thirty-five bucks well spent.
CCG brings up a good point. What pattern is preferred for lawn cutting? My favorite was going around the perimiter from outside to inside, simply because it was more mindless for me. Going back and forth row by row always seemed tedious because of more turning back and forth.

Re: The Grass is Always Greener

by AArdvark » Fri Apr 19, 2019 6:42 am

I actually enjoy cutting the lawn. Since we moved from a postage stamp lawn in the city to an acre in the country I had to get a rider. It takes about an hour, depending on how much futzing around I do, trying to get every single square foot of grass to look right. If I use the push mower to do the tight parts in the front it'll be another half hour. One of the biggest factors, I think I mentioned this elsewhere, is that all my neighbors are retired or semi-retired and they have LOTS of time to perfectly maintain their yards. Plus they all seem to have attachments (that I'll never afford or want) that sweeps or vacuums up every random leaf or twig. Matter of fact, I hear the guy across the street right now has started up his Cub Cadet and is preparing to do his lawn, even though it's only mid-April and the grass hasn't even started growing yet. ( I saw him mopping out his garage floor last year if that gives you any indication of the state of his home tidiness)
I have an old Sears reel mower and used to use it on the lawn back in the city because it made the grass look like a putting green. Too much work now, but it was cool for a while. I remember a commercial for a push mower that floated on air. I could never find anything about it except for a clip from America's funniest Home Videos where a guy was using one and he stumbled while cutting his grass and the thing flew away on him.

I just looked and I think I'm remembering it incorrectly


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