The Ladder Theory... & how it relates to Pinback.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

First, for those of you that have yet to do so, please read this:

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

(OK, now that you're back)

... First off, let me say that I believe pretty much everything contained in the above link. I am by no means "bitter" or anything, nor am I using the Ladder Theory as an excuse as to why I haven't been on a date in a few months now. It's knowledge, and this knowledge can be used for you. When I reflect upon the times that I have been dating and hooking up regularly, I can see that everything that went on can be accurately described by the theory.

Let's look at Pinback's situation over ICQ and see if it applies:

"HI :) :) LOL R U COMING 2 VEGAS WIF US??"

Excellent! Interest has been expressed by the female in question. What motivates her to ask that? I'll posit a theory in a second.

What is Ben's reponse to this query? Ben plays it just right:

"Oh, err, well, I mean, that sounds like fun, but it's on a little short notice, so I'm not sure I can find a hotel room."

OK, the stuttering at the beginning is a little off. But he's effectively stated that he's not so desperate to bed this girl that he has to slobber all over her. He's created the (illusion?) appearance that he has options. By saying this, he has positioned himself as someone to compete over.

LOL :) U CAN STAY WIF ME AND OTHER CHICK'S NAME!!! LOL TEEHEE".

Well, Ben coming off as strong and somewhat disinterested certainly has her in conniptions, now doesn't it? She is wondering just where Ben has her on his ladder, though she doesn't know she's doing it. She is attempting to entice Pinner with the possibility that perhaps he is going to jump from the friends ladder to the fuckbuddy ladder.

"Hey, I appreciate that. I'll just bring along an extra pillow and blanket so I can use the couch or floor or something."

Excellent! Again, Ben has done the right thing. He doesn't need this girl! Not even slightly! Sleeping on the floor? ACES. He's there for the Vegas bits. Not the "sex with you" bits. The response is predictable:

":) :P :P LOL U CAN HAVE A BED ALL YOUR OWN UNLESS U WANT TO SHARE :P :P :) :)"

Ah, indeed, ma'am.

We then find out later that...

Not total loss yet,
But things have cooled off a lot,
As the time grows near.

After enticing Pinback with the thought that he was going to hop the ladder, they then moved the fuckbuddy ladder farther away, so that he'd have to traverse a farther chasm.

Why do that?

BECAUSE THEY CAN.

And I don't mean "all women" by they: I am not any sort of misogynist. I enjoy the company of women and subscribe to the obvious truth that they do not need to be "tricked" into feeling lust for men. But human beings are, at the core, somewhat cruel to one another, and will play with one another alongside these ladders whenever they can.

What's Ben's best option?

Well, his best option is to take a girl friend along with him with the understanding that she is going to pretend to really come onto him during the trip. This creates artificial competition and would make one of the goddamn bitches previously mentioned to "step up" and do him in an attempt to one-up the friend that Ben brought along.

Instead, Ben can do the following:

1) Wear a ring on whichever hand indicates that he'd be married

2) Get the interest of one of a hundred thousand girls in Vegas, even if for only a short time

3) The frosty chicks that write, in IM, in a manner not unlike a 12 year old hacker impressed over the fact that he just got his first pube ;P will then melt like butter on a hot day in July.

Ben'll be back in a few days, so we'll get a full report on just went down. Here's hoping for some grudge-fucking! Good luck, Ben!

[Roody_Yogurt]

Well, we'll see what Ben says when he comes back, but we can only hope the best. Personally, I think the ladder theory is a bit simplistic, but that isn't to say that it doesn't exist and isn't apparent all over the place. Even though I know I can use it for my own advantage, it's a game I don't like and I'm not going to play it. I'm too much of an idealist and won't accept the same broken systems just because it works for the people shallow enough to accept them (whether it be work ethics or this ladder theory). A guy at my last job said to me when I would complain about how corrupt the county system was, "You have to play the game; it's the only game in town." At that job, everyone was breaking the rules, but people get pissed off if you're not breaking the same rules that they are. Stupid hipocracies like that really irk me these days, and even if I'm the only one who's going to suffer for it, it means more to me to not jump through any hoops than to pretend I enjoy all this crap. I apologize if my hybrid of issues abstracts any sort of point I'm supposed to have.

The other day, though, thinking about this while driving home, for the first time in who knows how long, I was actually kind of grateful that I have no money or power because I wouldn't want those things to be any part of why someone finds me appealing and how horrendously offended I'd be if that were the case.

[Worm]

I might have something to say when I read all of the ladder theory but, It is too much for right now. Though, it was an AIM conversation no ICQ.