Santa Jaws (2020)

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Flack
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Santa Jaws (2020)

Post by Flack »

Cody is an average teenager who likes to draw comics with his buddy, Steve. Their latest creation is Santa Jaws, a comic about... well, Santa Jaws. While Cody's extended family is in town for the holidays, he gets in trouble for posting a crude drawing on social media and is grounded. Alone in his room, Cody opens a Christmas present from his grandpa (a drawing pen) and continues working on Santa Jaws while wishing that he could be alone for the holidays. Unbeknownst to Cody, the pen is magic, and anything drawn with it comes to life. Which leads us to... dun-dun-DUN, Santa Jaws.

Santa Jaws' first victim is grandpa himself while he and Cody are fishing off the pier. Cody runs all the way home to tell his family about the attack, all of whom promptly refuse to believe him, refuse to call the police, and even refuse to walk 10 feet to see if grandpa is still in the house. Instead of insisting they do any of those things, Cody says... oh well, I guess I will take care of Santa Jaws myself. Joining him on his mission are his comic book partner (Steve) and the cute girl who just moved into the neighborhood (Jena), with some help from the local comic shop owner (Clark).

After multiple shark attacks, Cody realizes that Santa Jaws (a) is killing members of his family, (b) is attracted to Christmas items, and eventually, (c) can only be harmed by Christmas-themed weapons.

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Grandpa's in a better place

The first several victims are understandable, as they either don't know about or don't believe in Santa Jaws. But eventually, people who know about Santa Jaws are eaten. You would think after seeing their friends and family get chomped by a magical great white shark with red glowing eyes ("like Rudolph's nose!") and wearing a Santa's cap on its fin, these people would, you know, stay away from the water. But they do not.

As the battle wages on, the characters turn weapons from Clark's comic book shop into Christmas weapons: a crossbow wrapped in tinsel, a spear wrapped in a string of Christmas lights, and gunpowder-filled Christmas turkey bombs.

I began to suspect the movie wasn't "playing fair" when major characters began turning into chum. It's easy to forget one of the characters has a magic ink pen that can change reality when they don't use it. Any movie that opens with an action sequence that doesn't turn out to be real should be treated as an unreliable narrator for its duration. By the end, everything is back to normal and Santa Jaws has been vanquished from reality OR HAS SHE.

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This might be a good movie to queue up if visitors are staying too long during the holiday season.
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Jizaboz
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Re: Santa Jaws (2020)

Post by Jizaboz »

I still want to see this. Also, I just bought Jaws the board game today for Xmas
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Re: Santa Jaws (2020)

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Jizaboz wrote: Mon Dec 21, 2020 12:43 am I still want to see this. Also, I just bought Jaws the board game today for Xmas
Nice! If you like it and want to play it online, I will buy you Tabletop Simulator if you don't already have it.
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Jizaboz
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Re: Santa Jaws (2020)

Post by Jizaboz »

pinback wrote: Mon Dec 21, 2020 6:19 am
Jizaboz wrote: Mon Dec 21, 2020 12:43 am I still want to see this. Also, I just bought Jaws the board game today for Xmas
Nice! If you like it and want to play it online, I will buy you Tabletop Simulator if you don't already have it.

Cool! Yeah honestly I did not even know this was a real thing. Thought perhaps you were just playing something in that sim for some reason. I was at Target getting other Xmas stuff and decided to look at the board games. They had a few ones that interested me like Godzilla and some 17 and over horror game. But, not only was Jaws on sale for 22.99 but it just looks like a lot of fun and Jaws is one of the rare things my GF and I actually both like.. even the NES game haha
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Re: Santa Jaws (2020)

Post by pinback »

Yeah, the board game is virtually the only other thing associated with the movie that was any good. Play around with it, lemme know if you wanna give it a go, and I'll hook you up if so.
I don't have to say anything. I'm a doctor, too.

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Flack
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Re: Santa Jaws (2020)

Post by Flack »

pinback wrote: Mon Dec 21, 2020 11:45 am Yeah, the board game is virtually the only other thing associated with the movie that was any good. Play around with it, lemme know if you wanna give it a go, and I'll hook you up if so.
Jaws Paddleball says "fuck you."

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Ice Cream Jonsey
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Re: Santa Jaws (2020)

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey »

pinback wrote: Mon Dec 21, 2020 11:45 am Yeah, the board game is virtually the only other thing associated with the movie that was any good. Play around with it, lemme know if you wanna give it a go, and I'll hook you up if so.
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>:(
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Jizaboz
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Re: Santa Jaws (2020)

Post by Jizaboz »

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Mon Dec 21, 2020 2:46 pm
pinback wrote: Mon Dec 21, 2020 11:45 am Yeah, the board game is virtually the only other thing associated with the movie that was any good. Play around with it, lemme know if you wanna give it a go, and I'll hook you up if so.
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>:(
OK, I want this for my trailer at the coast. Where did you find this? LOL
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