I'd Officially Like To Punch Everyone On The Onion Personals

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Ice Cream Jonsey
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I'd Officially Like To Punch Everyone On The Onion Personals

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey »

Here's this week's shining example:
Some Bitch With Too Much Eyeliner wrote: More about who I'm looking for: "It's easier to say what I'm not looking for: No psychos. No baggage. No attitude. No fakers (in ANY sense)."
Every single "featured" ad features the same fucking person: some riff on "geek chic" physically, along with being pretentious as all hell and an inflated sense of self worth.

I mean: Hi there! You've signed up to a PERSONALS service! Over the Internet, even! The time to pretend that absolutely NO-ONE will ever be able to "have" you was actually long before you stuck your toe into the pool of hopelessness that is on-line dating!

Don't get me wrong -- I understand that the "featured" ones are all probabaly made up. There's no brillance in pointing out that a website which is able to express "comedy" in *exactly* one way goes and creates personal accounts of a lone, single, annoying-as-fuck personality. But these are not people who I would ever want to encounter, and I fear that the sheepkin who visit the Onion religiously might just think the faux hipper-than-thou thing could work for them as well. And that's got to stop.

(Kornfield's still funny, though. A personal service with mutiles like that, now that would be worthwhile.)
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

Worm
Posts: 3626
Joined: Sat Aug 24, 2002 12:53 am
Location: tucked away between the folds of your momma, safe

Post by Worm »

Everyone is fucking lame now.
Good point Bobby!

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