Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Celebrity Monologues. This base allows guest posting, but please register for the full experience.

Moderators: AArdvark, Ice Cream Jonsey

User avatar
Flack
Posts: 8822
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:02 pm
Location: Oklahoma
Contact:

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Post by Flack »



It's been more than 30 years since Goose, Iceman, and Maverick took us down the highway to the Danger Zone. Have you spent the past three decades wondering what happened to Maverick and Iceman's careers? Ever wonder if things worked out between Maverick and Penny? Have you lost sleep worrying how Maverick has dealt with the guilt of the death of his wingman, Goose? No? Well, neither has anyone else.

For me, and most people I assume, Top Gun was just a movie. In May of 1986, the month Top Gun hit theaters, we also got Short Circuit, Cobra, Poltergeist II, and Big Trouble in Little China. A few weeks later when summer blockbusters began rolling out, audiences got Labyrinth, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Ruthless People, Karate Kid II, Invaders from Mars, Back to School, The Manhattan Project, and SpaceCamp.

Times have changed. In May of 2022 (the month Top Gun: Maverick was released), the top grossing films were Sonic Drone Home (a sequel), Ghost in the Shell: Sustainable War (a sequel), Doctor Strange in the Multiverse (a sequel), Around the World in 80 Days (a remake), and five movies from established franchises (The Bob's Burgers Movie, South Park: The Streaming Wars, Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers, Marmaduke, and Downton Abbey: A New Era).

It is in this recycled wasteland that we return to Top Gun Academy, a school for the "best of the best" (a term we hear 100 times). Maverick has found himself stuck at the rank of captain thanks to his "maverickish ways," Iceman has been promoted to Admiral, and Penny owns the local bar. At Iceman's request, Maverick is pulled back to Top Gun, this time as an instructor, to prepare the best of the best (there it is again) for an upcoming mission. Unbeknownst to Maverick, one of the incoming pilots is Rooster, Goose's son.

While Top Gun: Maverick relies heavily on your suspension of belief, I want you to think back to some place you hung out in 1986 -- a school, perhaps, or maybe a job. Now imagine that you were recently hired to work there, only to discover that your old coworker is now the boss, your old girlfriend owns the bar next door, and the son of your old best friend is there. What are the odds? Fortunately, the odds are always in Maverick's favor, because he's the best of the best.

Fortunately it doesn't take too long to figure out why they filmed and released this movie in IMAX format. You might think the Navy trains pilots to dogfight by putting them in simulators, but no, it's done in real jets where pilots find out how close to the ground they can fly at supersonic speeds and how many g-forces they can handle before the pass out behind the controls of a multi-million dollar jet. Fun! All these pilots have cool codenames too, like Halo and Coyote and Fanboy, which is kind of like naming Stormtroopers.

The mission our recruits are being prepared for involves flying low and fast into enemy territory, where they will face surface-to-air fire and enemy aircraft. After flying quickly through a narrow trench, they'll be required to hit a target three meters wide. All of them think this is impossible, but not Luke as he used to shoot womprats back home and they're no bigger than two meters. Then the X-wings get into attack formation and Obi-Wan is all, "may the Force be with you," and... oops, wrong movie. Well, actually, it's kind of the same movie.

A few months after I realized Covid was here to stay I spent too many thousands of dollars on a movie room with audio that'll make your ears bleed and a TV bigger than God's. The ironic thing is that I spend most of my time watching old horror movies in 4:3 format, and bootleg kung-fu flicks that were never released on DVD. Every few years a movie comes along designed to give home theater enthusiasts a hard-on, and this is one of those. Missiles in the left audio channel! Gunfire in the right speakers! Enemy craft zooming overheard from the Atmos speakers! Kaboom! Kaplow! All complaints about this movie's plot and nostalgic strings were wiped out by incoming bogeys! Zip! Pow! Bang!

Just over halfway through the film, the best of the best of the best are picked and the mission begins. if you're watching at home, you'll want to make sure your popcorn is full and your bladder is empty before that moment, because you won't want to get up off the couch for about an hour. Sure, it's fairly unbelievable and unrealistic, but in the previous film a farm boy from Tatooine with no real flying experience blew up a space station the size of a moon, so anything's possible. Before the credits were done I was already on the phone with my local Navy recruiter trying to get into the Top Gun program. The waiting list is pretty long for middle-aged men with low testosterone and high BMIs, but Tom Cruise is 10+ years older than me and illegally steals at least two planes in this movie so I feel like my record, never haven stolen a plane, speaks for itself.

Top Gun: Maverick is a story of redemption and it does that part okay, but add a star for every 1,000 watts your home theater's stereo pumps out, multiple that by how many speakers you have and add the number of feet wide your television is, and that's the movie's real score. In terms of plot there's nothing new here, but for an action flick it's the best of the best of the best of the best of the best, or at least pretty good. It's designed to take you right back to the Danger Zone, and once the thrusters kick in, you better hold on.
"I failed a savings throw and now I am back."

User avatar
Tdarcos
Posts: 9333
Joined: Fri May 16, 2008 9:25 am
Location: Arlington, Virginia
Contact:

Re: Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Post by Tdarcos »

Flack wrote: Mon Jan 30, 2023 9:28 am Every few years a [porn] movie comes along designed to give [guys] a hard-on, and this is one of those. Missiles ... Gunfire ... zooming overheard ... Kaboom! Kaplow! All complaints about this movie's plot ... were wiped out by ...Zip! Pow! Bang!

If you're watching at home... you won't want to get up off the couch for about an hour.
In terms of plot there's nothing new here... It's designed to take you right back... and once the thrusters kick in, you better hold on.
Alan Francis wrote a book containing everything men understand about women. It consisted of 100 blank pages.

User avatar
Flack
Posts: 8822
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:02 pm
Location: Oklahoma
Contact:

Re: Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Post by Flack »

Keep that up and they're gonna change your name to Commander Classy!
"I failed a savings throw and now I am back."

User avatar
Ice Cream Jonsey
Posts: 28878
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 2:44 pm
Location: Colorado
Contact:

Re: Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey »

Thank-you for this touching review.

Top Gun was just a movie to me that I watched once, maybe twice. It had no particular effect on me. I have had many people tell me, with this sequel coming out, how much they enjoyed it and how much they liked Top Gun in its original theatrical release. And I get it. I am into a lot of stuff that nobody cares about.

It is for that reason I am glad this new movie, this Maverick exists. It brought joy to a lot of people. I do not have an upgraded sound system. I am still looking for the 4:3 cut. But the movie, from what I understand, made the world a better place. And again, haven't seen it, but I am glad that Val Kilmer with his cancer and everything is getting more speaking parts.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

User avatar
Jizaboz
Posts: 4811
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 2:00 pm
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Post by Jizaboz »

I still need to see this movie. I had all intentions of going to the theater to see it because I never go anymore.. but never did. I wasn't a huge fan of the original movie but I did watch it 2-3 times in the 80s.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

User avatar
Flack
Posts: 8822
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:02 pm
Location: Oklahoma
Contact:

Re: Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Post by Flack »

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Mon Jan 30, 2023 8:09 pm ...but I am glad that Val Kilmer with his cancer and everything is getting more speaking parts.
They used AI to recrease his voice for Top Gun: Maverick. And things must've went swell on the set because nobody invited him back for the Willow series that's currently airing.
"I failed a savings throw and now I am back."

Post Reply