Matthew Good 4:7:3

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danzaland
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Matthew Good 4:7:3

Post by danzaland »

From Nation of Cool:

I received this in an e-mail today from Donya and thought I’d pass it along.


Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place of great balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Africa is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of light skinned people and over there is a continent of darker skinned people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large landmass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed; "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"

God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them...."

Worm
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Post by Worm »

Why does God make Canadians sound like halflings from D&D?
Good point Bobby!

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Ice Cream Jonsey
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey »

God : In America, I'll be putting Chuck Berry, B.B. King, Elvis Presley, the Grateful Dead, Buddy Holly, the Doors, the Ramones and Nirvana.

Michael: BALANCE, MASTER, BAAAALANCE!!!

God: It's OK, in Canada they'll have Bryan Adams and Matthew Good.


JC FUN FAX: Did you notice how I put "Master" in there as part of Michael's dialogue? I miss no opportunity in poorly veiled stabs at organized religion.

Also, what's this "high achiever and hard working" thing? The last thing of importance Canada managed to give to the world was freaking Shatner. (While researching this claim, I was made aware that Canadians somehow think that Alexander Graham Bell was "Canadian" even though he was born in Scotland. Hey, watch, I'll crib a few inventors for America as well. Ahem. "Boy, the nameless, forgotten Arab who invented the alphabet -- MAN ALIVE that guy was a true American Patriot!!! OK, my work is done here.)
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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