Matt Good 6.11.3

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danzaland
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Matt Good 6.11.3

Post by danzaland »

Once they’ve learned to share a common hatred, that of the tourist, their own troubles will seem insignificant.


Peace in Palestine. Is it possible? Or is it as unlikely as, say, a music reviewer writing something even halfway negative about a Radiohead record? It’s a puzzle that has yet to be solved and, in my opinion, one that can’t be forced by the likes of the United States government (that goes for Radiohead reviews too, by the way).

So what’s to be done? Well, if you take a look at the principles of subversive covert influencing that were nearly perfected during the Cold War; it seems almost so obvious that I’m surprised that the CIA hasn’t thought of it yet. It seems to me that the Israeli/Palestinian problem could be undermined in a rather painless fashion. In fact, I would even go so far as saying that it would be down right fun.

Hire the Walt Disney Corporation to do it.

Perhaps the idea was kicked around at CIA but given the disaster of Euro Disney they thought it wouldn’t fly. I disagree. If there’s one thing that people who are depressed enough to actually strap explosives to their bodies and run into a market need, it’s Mr. Toads Wild Ride, It’s A Small World After All, Mickey’s Toon Town, and the Pirates of the Caribbean. Let’s face it, with distractions like that; what government would force their population into mandatory military service in their late teens?

Look at those parts of the world that have Disney theme parks and the sociological effects that they’ve had. Despite a few shootings here and there and the odd gangster rap tragedy, southern California is one of the most laid back parts of the world. The same could be said of Orlando, even if a large portion of the grounds staff at Disney World are first cousins.

Build it on the outskirts of Jerusalem and call it Old World Disney. Of course the name has to be devoid of direct political affiliation because that would simply stir the pot. You simply can’t call it Palestine Disney or Disney-Aviv without sparks flying. So Old World Disney it’ll have to be.

Now we all know the area is economically depressed and the first phase of this operation would be using the need for employment to force Israelis and Palestinians to work together in the many shops and restaurants. Once they’ve learned to share a common hatred, that of the tourist, their own troubles will seem insignificant. There is nothing that galvanizes a people more than the shared hatred of the tourist. As time passes the two peoples will find themselves getting together on weekends for barbecues at which they’ll do nothing but complain about fat Marge and her videotaping husband Hal from Indiana.

There is no greater communal hatred in the world than that for the tourist. Just ask any Parisian.

Once this first phase, let’s call it “communal disposition”, is achieved, the second phase of the operation could commence. And that would be the expansion of the park and the surrounding hotels and amenities to encompass most of the region. After a time it will become obvious to even the likes of Hamas that the economic positives of the park, the hotels, the casinos, and the all the restaurants, shopping malls, and strip clubs that come with them, will be simply too great to engage in suicide bombings or any other such nonsense. Such activities would drive tourists away and, though they might be hated in private, are needed to keep the people of what I’d like to call Palesael or, of you prefer, Israelestine in the new GM, Ford, and Chrysler cars, trucks, and SUV’s that they will have come to love, enjoy, and depend upon. Not to mention being able to pay those mortgage payments for those new condos or specious ranchers.

It’s all rather straight forward. And I’m amazed that an agency such as the CIA hasn’t considered it. If we’ve learned anything in the last 20 years it’s that fast food chains, Baywatch, theme parks, and movies are the real weapons of subjugation (which we will give the media codeword: peace). Look at how many countries have McDonalds. Now ask yourself, what if each of them was nothing but a front for a covert operations center? Seems logical to me. Throw a KFC in North Korea and we’ll see who’s boss.