volume 1 issue 4

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

<I *AM* The Law>: Look, are you going to do it or not? You know that for whatever reasons the denizens are calling for you.
<jcafterdark>: no
<I *AM* The Law>: You planning on giving a reason? Or are you just going to miss your deadline, like Pinback normally does?
<I *AM* The Law>: Hello? Are you even fucking there? Look, I gave you good money for this gossip horseshit. I don't know if anybody's clued you into this fact, JACK, but I am about a single Brucian Beard hair length away from getting canned and being out on the street and turned into some kind of homeless nobody. Jack Straw's mom is already calling as to the status of my computer, if you're digging my ditch here. I have better things to spend my money on.
<jcafterdark>: no not doing it 2 nite
<I *AM* The Law>: And another thing -- knock off that numbers-as-letters thing. That wasn't part of the deal.
<jcafterdark>: dont b h8tin', jones
<I *AM* The Law>: Don't call me "Jones" either. You really got a big head about this, you know? You're really being a giant cock.
<jcafterdark>: cant type listening to "Kylie Minogue" records
<I *AM* The Law>: Was that a shot? Was htat a shot, mothrefucker?!!? FUCKING DICKWIPE. That's it. You're fucking fired. Don't ever post on my BBS again.
<jcafterdark>: i thought it was love at 1st site
<I *AM* The Law>: FUCK OFF.
<jcafterdark>: r u ok? sounds like u got the "fever"
<I *AM* The Law>: You're gonna die for this. Gonna die.
<jcafterdark>: no, i kid. only kidding. will do the update. need u 2 do 1 thing for me
<I *AM* The Law>: What do you want me to do?
<jcafterdark> the locomotion
<I *AM* The Law>: YOURE GONNA DIE

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<I *AM* The Law>: You there? Asshole. I'll get you for this.

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[Jack Straw]

Bahahaha! Along with my PC, my mom took a very nice (so I thought) APC uninterruptible power supply. I recieved a postcard the other day informing me of a recall on that very UPS, saying they were having problems with them overheating.

I hope whoever's house she pawned my baby off burst into flames, sealing all the cheap vinyl windows and sending the entire crooked family to their graves.

And the machine, of course (there *was* a lot of porn and warez on that thing, along with excerpts from the Anarchist cookbook - I believe the instructions on how to extract LSD from baby woodrose seeds were right on the desktop)

[bruce]

I hope whoever's house she pawned my baby off burst into flames, sealing all the cheap vinyl windows and sending the entire crooked family to their graves.

OK, there is clearly a backstory I am not aware of here.

My reconstruction goes something like this:

Jack Straw's mom is a crack whore, who sold his computer to pay for a 20-rock.

How close am I?

And the machine, of course (there *was* a lot of porn and warez on that thing, along with excerpts from the Anarchist cookbook - I believe the instructions on how to extract LSD from baby woodrose seeds were right on the desktop)

The Anarchist's Cookbook is a great way to end up poisoned, innit? Banana peels, my ass.

Bruce

[Worm]

The Anarchist's Cookbook is a great way to end up poisoned, innit? Banana peels, my ass.
Bruce

Pfft, I remember that thing didn't they claim you could get high off of the potassium once you baked them or some such shit? I remember reading that my last year in middle school and being such a fucking cunt because of it. Oh, and feeling like twice as much of one when I grew up a bit.

[Jack Straw]

Yeah the banana peel stuff is probably hogwash but the hawaiian woodrose seeds thing works, you just need a LOT of fucking seeds. And, I think the end result is LSA but hey, when you're a kid living with his mom with nothing better to do it's something. Anarchist cookbook is hit and miss - some of the articles are spot on and some are just there to fuck with you.. like trying to get kids to smoke bananas and making explosives so volatile that just turning on a light or shaking it will set them off - then instructing to hold the product up to a light to see the results and agitate vigourously..that kind of shit.

Basically, my mom kicked me out and sold my PC because she thought I owed her money. Not sure if I did or not but it set me back a bit being that I didn't have a PC for so long after that. That's when I got back into console gaming and haven't really played games on the PC since then.

Didja guys see they're starting to release Gamecube ISO's?? No chip yet but releases are a good sign.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Basically, my mom kicked me out and sold my PC because she thought I owed her money. Not sure if I did or not but it set me back a bit being that I didn't have a PC for so long after that. That's when I got back into console gaming and haven't really played games on the PC since then.

Shit, I didn't realize you were completely, totally computerless for a while there. Though, what sucked (or what Company Calls Sucked Epilogue) was that this was before I had a stock of parts to pick over that would allow me to bring up an "Emergency PC" quickly and righteously.

I hear you regarding console games, at least so much as upgrading one's PC every goddamn year has gotten seriously stale. The thing is, I tend to play games in spurts: I'm currently going through Rise of the Triad in an attempt to beat it, and I will play for nine or ten minutes, get killed, quit the game in anger, go check my e-mail, listen to an MP3... and then go right back for more pain and punishment. I need an auxillary computer in my living room or something, next to the Playstation, to make this something I can do there as well.

[Debaser]

I need an auxillary computer in my living room or something, next to the Playstation, to make this something I can do there as well.

This, to me, will always be why I prefer PC games to console. You can play PC games with the TV on, and then stop to watch when a commercial for Helman's "Dippin'" Sauce comes on, and then alt-tab to bring up a web BBS so that you can shit out a post about it. The only downside is that if, like me, you use your PC as a stereo/cd/mp3 player, it's a bitch to adjust the sound settings so that you here MusicMatch playing the Cardigans' "Emmerdale - Sweidish Release" (at least, that's what it is according to the folder name) instead of, say, the dull "ambient" music and sound effects of <i>Galactic Civilizations</i>.

[Jack Straw]

XBox has ROTT

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I should have talked to you before I dropped $15 on ROTT last weekend, it would seem.

Debaser, I did in fact see that "Dippin'" commercial. I thought of you. If I had an attractive member of the opposite sex with me, I would have then been able to recall your riff on the subject and it would have been Comedy Jupiter for her.

Of course, no such number, no such soul. But for any of you -- OK, I guess just Gerrit, really -- that are out there and find themselves in this situation... for GOD'S SAKE memorize what the Debaser said and use his routine for your own personal gain. Like in "Have a Cigar" by Pink Floyd, if we all pull together as a team one of us out there that is not in a committed relationship can score some casual sex.

OK, I am off to commit to memory every single "Introduction" from Pinback's original Web Central.

[Debaser]

You know, extended tales of cannibalsim and self-consumption featuring the word "hellish man-thing" rarely go over as well with the fairer sex as you'd imagine. At least, that's been my experience. Probably not meeting the right women.

[Vermicular Creature]

XBox has ROTT

http://www.apogee1.com/rott/index.html
That ROTT?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

You know it, VC.

Er, edited to say: yeah, it can run ROTT via emulation.

Edited twice to say: Now that I think about it, it's probably not "emulation" at all, at least not in the same sense that the X-box can run NES games.