It didn't work out the way you though it would, did it?
Explain, s'il vous plait.
Life
Moderators: AArdvark, Ice Cream Jonsey
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Ben
I know we're supposed to use fake names, but that post really touched a nerve with me, and I hope you'll forgive me for getting a little self-indulgent with my answer.
In a gale force wind of coincidence, I was thinking about the very same thing earlier today... I was standing along the side of the Pacific Coast Highway at lunch, leaning up against my car, listening to the Kiley and Booms sports show, and eating a "veggie" sandwich with all sorts of healthy-looking stuff in it, while looking out over the ocean, watching the waves come in and crash against the rocks.
I thought back to twenty years ago, when my whole life was ahead of me, as I sat in my room, still flush with the excitement of the latest Knight Rider episode, dreaming of times which seemed impossibly far into the future, but which in fact rush up to hit you in the face like a 4-year-old girl in a Kohls parking lot.
What kind of person was I going to be? Where was I going to live? What was I going to do? What would I look like? What would my voice sound like? Would I still be alive? Would I be married? Would I be happy or sad?
Of course, even at that age I was wise enough to understand that you can never really know the answers to these questions until they've already answered themselves. But just as a little fun exercise, I spent some time with a pen and paper, writing down the answers the way I wanted them to "work out", as the original question put it. Pages and pages I wrote, too, in feverishly scribbled cursive, sitting there drawing my future self on a canvas of words.
I had to hide under the bed with a flashlight to finish, as bedtime came and went and I still refused to stop until my job had been completed. I took only short breaks to fake sleeping while my mother walked in to check on me. But then five seconds later, I was right back at it.
I saved all those pages, just so, twenty years later, I'd be able to compare my youthful vision of my adult self with what I'd actually become. Just so I could answer Gimmick's question. Answer it for this audience, sure, but it was more important that I be able to answer it myself.
I can now truly state in response that no, my life did not work out the way I thought it would.
I pictured it being a ham and cheese sandwich.
In a gale force wind of coincidence, I was thinking about the very same thing earlier today... I was standing along the side of the Pacific Coast Highway at lunch, leaning up against my car, listening to the Kiley and Booms sports show, and eating a "veggie" sandwich with all sorts of healthy-looking stuff in it, while looking out over the ocean, watching the waves come in and crash against the rocks.
I thought back to twenty years ago, when my whole life was ahead of me, as I sat in my room, still flush with the excitement of the latest Knight Rider episode, dreaming of times which seemed impossibly far into the future, but which in fact rush up to hit you in the face like a 4-year-old girl in a Kohls parking lot.
What kind of person was I going to be? Where was I going to live? What was I going to do? What would I look like? What would my voice sound like? Would I still be alive? Would I be married? Would I be happy or sad?
Of course, even at that age I was wise enough to understand that you can never really know the answers to these questions until they've already answered themselves. But just as a little fun exercise, I spent some time with a pen and paper, writing down the answers the way I wanted them to "work out", as the original question put it. Pages and pages I wrote, too, in feverishly scribbled cursive, sitting there drawing my future self on a canvas of words.
I had to hide under the bed with a flashlight to finish, as bedtime came and went and I still refused to stop until my job had been completed. I took only short breaks to fake sleeping while my mother walked in to check on me. But then five seconds later, I was right back at it.
I saved all those pages, just so, twenty years later, I'd be able to compare my youthful vision of my adult self with what I'd actually become. Just so I could answer Gimmick's question. Answer it for this audience, sure, but it was more important that I be able to answer it myself.
I can now truly state in response that no, my life did not work out the way I thought it would.
I pictured it being a ham and cheese sandwich.
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Ice Cream Jonsey
- Posts: 28923
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Man, I sure thought I'd have ended up as a comic book penciller when I was little. So that certainly didn't work out.
I even wrote a letter (and received a reply) from the late, great Mark Gruenwald on the subject -- I asked him what the rates were for writers and pencillers per page. That he would take the time to answer a little whelp like me on something like that, well, that was pretty solid of him.
But overall it didn't turn out bad.
I certainly thought Duke Nukem 4 would have been out by now, though. Geez.
I even wrote a letter (and received a reply) from the late, great Mark Gruenwald on the subject -- I asked him what the rates were for writers and pencillers per page. That he would take the time to answer a little whelp like me on something like that, well, that was pretty solid of him.
But overall it didn't turn out bad.
I certainly thought Duke Nukem 4 would have been out by now, though. Geez.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!
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Worm
- Posts: 3626
- Joined: Sat Aug 24, 2002 12:53 am
- Location: tucked away between the folds of your momma, safe
I expected to ascend by now. This ascending thing won't happen like I thought.
Who cares? I still hold farts until I see people I don't like. I visit rotten, boners, and jerkcity daily.
I am still a kid. Jealous? I bet you are. Seventeen years young, senior year, my whole life before me, people who actually care about me, girls who actually want to have sex with me, still a virgin, and choking on pure fucking bliss.
I heard my friend profess to me that he was seeking "enlightenment" through pot. I use those quotes because through hearing what he said it is obvious enlightenment is a VERY subjective term. I've just been thinking, living, and all that. I don't care were I go. Be it Boardwalk or Baltic Ave I really just feel this pit in my chest fill up when I see a leaf fall or smell the grass. Maybe, I was hit in the head and have had my preceptions altered. I am a kid.
Maybe the best way to meet your own expectations is to not have expectations simple loss of all self.
I think my best ally was my paranoia. I never thought about how I'd be in the future because I was always thinking just what my mother meant when she said that yesterday or just why that girl smiled at me ... do they want to fuck me over?
Life is simply a violation of expectations.
Who cares? I still hold farts until I see people I don't like. I visit rotten, boners, and jerkcity daily.
I am still a kid. Jealous? I bet you are. Seventeen years young, senior year, my whole life before me, people who actually care about me, girls who actually want to have sex with me, still a virgin, and choking on pure fucking bliss.
I heard my friend profess to me that he was seeking "enlightenment" through pot. I use those quotes because through hearing what he said it is obvious enlightenment is a VERY subjective term. I've just been thinking, living, and all that. I don't care were I go. Be it Boardwalk or Baltic Ave I really just feel this pit in my chest fill up when I see a leaf fall or smell the grass. Maybe, I was hit in the head and have had my preceptions altered. I am a kid.
Maybe the best way to meet your own expectations is to not have expectations simple loss of all self.
I think my best ally was my paranoia. I never thought about how I'd be in the future because I was always thinking just what my mother meant when she said that yesterday or just why that girl smiled at me ... do they want to fuck me over?
Life is simply a violation of expectations.
Good point Bobby!
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Da King-like Simulacra
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loafergirl
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