This list has a few different purposes. One, I think the people here (or at least I) would like to see a list of top games completed some time in their lifetime. Two, I'd like to offer a different perspective from the author of the original list, in that 1) I haven't played nearly as many games as he as, and thus have no business giving a top anything list, and 2) he put Mr. Do at #23, so obviously any other list is automatically superior.
Come with me, now, as we take a journey through...
The Top 10 Games Of All Time
The Top 10 Games Of All Time
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The Top 10 Games Of All Time
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#10: PYRO II (1990)
Pyro 2 is unique, I think, within every "Top (x)" list that's ever been created, in that it was never done before, and it has never been done since. Every other game you'll ever find was either a copy of a copy, or was about to be copied after copied. Not Pyro 2. It showed up out of nowhere (for free, I should add) in a brilliant burst of creativity, and then was left to be, a shining singularity in the gaming world. Which I think is a shame, because if there's ever been a game shouting from the hilltops, begging to be remade with modern technology, it is Pyro 2.
Not that it would be any better.
The goal of Pyro 2 is simple. Burn down every building you walk into. There's a purity and nobility to that, especially when you consider that the first building you're tasked with torching is the IRS building. You do this by pouring gasoline all over the place, or setting full gas tanks around to explode, as soon as the fuse trailing you hits them.
And the miracle of Pyro 2 is that even in 40x24 DOS mode, using nothing but ASCII characters and a few cracks and blips from the computer speaker, when the fuse hits the gas and lights the whole fucking screen on fire, you are experiencing the most visceral satisfaction you will ever experience from a video game. No 3D, shader-enhanced, high-definition, photorealistic explosion in any game ever made has come close to this moment. It is, in many ways, orgasmic.
Except you're ready to do it again 30 seconds later.
So you do. You go around in your little pink jumpsuit and burn shit to the ground. That's it. That's the game.
And it's the tenth best game of all time.
(Pyro II also happens to be the only game that my father was ever better at than I was.)
Pyro 2 is unique, I think, within every "Top (x)" list that's ever been created, in that it was never done before, and it has never been done since. Every other game you'll ever find was either a copy of a copy, or was about to be copied after copied. Not Pyro 2. It showed up out of nowhere (for free, I should add) in a brilliant burst of creativity, and then was left to be, a shining singularity in the gaming world. Which I think is a shame, because if there's ever been a game shouting from the hilltops, begging to be remade with modern technology, it is Pyro 2.
Not that it would be any better.
The goal of Pyro 2 is simple. Burn down every building you walk into. There's a purity and nobility to that, especially when you consider that the first building you're tasked with torching is the IRS building. You do this by pouring gasoline all over the place, or setting full gas tanks around to explode, as soon as the fuse trailing you hits them.
And the miracle of Pyro 2 is that even in 40x24 DOS mode, using nothing but ASCII characters and a few cracks and blips from the computer speaker, when the fuse hits the gas and lights the whole fucking screen on fire, you are experiencing the most visceral satisfaction you will ever experience from a video game. No 3D, shader-enhanced, high-definition, photorealistic explosion in any game ever made has come close to this moment. It is, in many ways, orgasmic.
Except you're ready to do it again 30 seconds later.
So you do. You go around in your little pink jumpsuit and burn shit to the ground. That's it. That's the game.
And it's the tenth best game of all time.
(Pyro II also happens to be the only game that my father was ever better at than I was.)
I don't have to say anything. I'm a doctor, too.
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I now realize the irony of claiming that something with the number "2" in its title had never been done before. I'm new at this "list" thing, give me a break.
Fact is, I think there was a Pyro 1 at some point, and I think it was pretty much identical to Pyro 2, but the second one had some enhancements and a new set of levels or some shit. Who knows. It was all by the same guy, all free, and Pyro 2 is the only one anyone remembers.
And they don't even remember it.
Fact is, I think there was a Pyro 1 at some point, and I think it was pretty much identical to Pyro 2, but the second one had some enhancements and a new set of levels or some shit. Who knows. It was all by the same guy, all free, and Pyro 2 is the only one anyone remembers.
And they don't even remember it.
I don't have to say anything. I'm a doctor, too.
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Those are my picks, and nobody's going to like them anyway, so what the hell's the point?Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:If I let you edit your posts, will you remove this monstrosity above and actually do this correctly?
I mean, really, who is going to say "Huh, Pinback thinks Rollercoaster Tycoon is the second-best game of all time, I better go give that a try!"
Pointless waste of time.
I don't have to say anything. I'm a doctor, too.
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Ice Cream Jonsey
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*I* care.pinback wrote:Those are my picks, and nobody's going to like them anyway, so what the hell's the point?Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:If I let you edit your posts, will you remove this monstrosity above and actually do this correctly?
I mean, really, who is going to say "Huh, Pinback thinks Rollercoaster Tycoon is the second-best game of all time, I better go give that a try!"
Pointless waste of time.
What brought this nihilistic streak down upon you?
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!
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AArdvark
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Needs graphics for each title. Those of me that crave a screenshot have trouble with text only. Sucks because all the books I read don't have pitchers innem. Balls!
This commercial is terrible!
Anyway, what infocom game is #6?
THE
HITCHIKERS GUIDE
TO THE
AARDVARK
This commercial is terrible!
Anyway, what infocom game is #6?
THE
HITCHIKERS GUIDE
TO THE
AARDVARK
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Ice Cream Jonsey
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If I go buy Rollercoaster Tycoon and scan the receipt will you continue? I, too, want to see a Top Ten list in my lifetime.
Plus, it motivates me to finish my own list. I am in comedy competition with you.
I have "Railroad Tycoon." Never played it. How is that one compared to RCTC?
Plus, it motivates me to finish my own list. I am in comedy competition with you.
I have "Railroad Tycoon." Never played it. How is that one compared to RCTC?
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!
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Rollercoaster Tycoon is on sale at Wegmans Grocery's discount spindle for a few bucks so it would be cool to hear all about it in case I should want to buy it.Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:If I go buy Rollercoaster Tycoon and scan the receipt will you continue? I, too, want to see a Top Ten list in my lifetime.
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Ice Cream Jonsey
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AArdvark
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RC Tycoon 3 is just like sims funpark except that you design the rides. At least the roller coaster tracks. You still have to take care of all the manegement details, which blows like a fifty year old fan. Not good. there is no bloodshed in the entire game. I want RCT IV: A FPS in a theme park! With grenades.
THE
HAPPY HAPPY
DIE DIE
AARDVARK
THE
HAPPY HAPPY
DIE DIE
AARDVARK
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#9: NETHACK (1987)
Most of the entries in this list are of the "best of genre" variety. For instance, if all you like are text adventures, your top ten are gonna be primarily text adventures. But I'm exercising a lot of self-control by trying to sprinkle in a number of game genres in here, to give the widest (and most accessible) variety of games for you to enjoy in the order in which I present them.
So which genre is NetHack? The obvious choice is the AD&D RPG hack-n-slash genre. It excels in that genre. But here are some other genres which NetHack is at or near the top of:
1. Death Means Death games. There's something just so much more satisfying about surviving another second, another minute, another level, when you know that if you slip up once and get your ass handed to you, your game is over. Of course, if I had applied this concept to my own life, I might not have ended up taking Zoloft and writing ten webpages about how miserable I always was.
2. Games You Can Play On Old Computers. When NetHack came out in 1987, it was already about 15 years outdated, technologically. It blazes on an 8088.
3. Old Games You Can Play On New Computers. 20 years later and it's still humming along nicely.
4. Desert Island Games. NetHack is the obvious choice for ANYONE who has a gun put to their head and is forced to only play one game again for the rest of his/her life. Most games you either win (Half-Life), or get as good as you're ever gonna get, so it gets boring (Galaga). NetHack is neither of these. First of all, it's very HARD, and you will never win it. But it's different every time you try, and there's so much depth built in over the years that you will find yourself discovering new things years after you first start playing. And on the off- off- off-chance that you DO win it, you can just fire it up again as a different character, and it will be a completely different game, different story, different everything. The ultimate replayable game. And when you're still playing it 50 years from now, it will still work on your computer. There is so much to admire here, about a game that has, and will always fit on one floppy disk, that you begin to look with scorn at the modern, 5-gig-requiring, video-card-that-hasn't-been-invented-yet-using monstrosities. NetHack shows us that all you need is love. And ASCII.
5. Games You Can Play At Work Without Getting Caught And Fired. It's ASCII. You know what else is in ASCII? SHELL COMMANDS! Also: BATCH FILES! You wouldn't fire an employee over employing shell commands or batch files, would you? Of course not.
It ain't flashy, it ain't new, it ain't the next big thing. It's just what it's always been, and what it's always been is: incredibly entertaining, and the ninth best game of all time.
Most of the entries in this list are of the "best of genre" variety. For instance, if all you like are text adventures, your top ten are gonna be primarily text adventures. But I'm exercising a lot of self-control by trying to sprinkle in a number of game genres in here, to give the widest (and most accessible) variety of games for you to enjoy in the order in which I present them.
So which genre is NetHack? The obvious choice is the AD&D RPG hack-n-slash genre. It excels in that genre. But here are some other genres which NetHack is at or near the top of:
1. Death Means Death games. There's something just so much more satisfying about surviving another second, another minute, another level, when you know that if you slip up once and get your ass handed to you, your game is over. Of course, if I had applied this concept to my own life, I might not have ended up taking Zoloft and writing ten webpages about how miserable I always was.
2. Games You Can Play On Old Computers. When NetHack came out in 1987, it was already about 15 years outdated, technologically. It blazes on an 8088.
3. Old Games You Can Play On New Computers. 20 years later and it's still humming along nicely.
4. Desert Island Games. NetHack is the obvious choice for ANYONE who has a gun put to their head and is forced to only play one game again for the rest of his/her life. Most games you either win (Half-Life), or get as good as you're ever gonna get, so it gets boring (Galaga). NetHack is neither of these. First of all, it's very HARD, and you will never win it. But it's different every time you try, and there's so much depth built in over the years that you will find yourself discovering new things years after you first start playing. And on the off- off- off-chance that you DO win it, you can just fire it up again as a different character, and it will be a completely different game, different story, different everything. The ultimate replayable game. And when you're still playing it 50 years from now, it will still work on your computer. There is so much to admire here, about a game that has, and will always fit on one floppy disk, that you begin to look with scorn at the modern, 5-gig-requiring, video-card-that-hasn't-been-invented-yet-using monstrosities. NetHack shows us that all you need is love. And ASCII.
5. Games You Can Play At Work Without Getting Caught And Fired. It's ASCII. You know what else is in ASCII? SHELL COMMANDS! Also: BATCH FILES! You wouldn't fire an employee over employing shell commands or batch files, would you? Of course not.
It ain't flashy, it ain't new, it ain't the next big thing. It's just what it's always been, and what it's always been is: incredibly entertaining, and the ninth best game of all time.
I don't have to say anything. I'm a doctor, too.
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#8: SUPER MARIO 64 (1996)
I can count on two (2) fingers the number of times I've fired up a game and had an instant sense of being overwhelmed, that what I was seeing could not possibly be, and the only word I could conjure up from my bewildered head was Keanu's "whoa". The first time was Wolfenstein 3D, when I first pushed the mouse around. The only other time it happened was with Super Mario 64.
I had gotten an N64 as a Christmas gift. It would not have been my first choice. All the cool kids were getting PlayStations, and I'd already put the Nintendo brand, and the little red-overall-wearing wop behind me. But, not wanting to be rude, I plugged it in, threw in Mario 64 and got dumped outside the castle, left to do... what? Who knows. I don't even remember, it's been so long. But I pushed the controller in a few different directions, just to see what happens. Whoa.
One thing I do remember is that the technical excellence of the game was overshadowed only by the fact that it was definitely the highest game I have ever played. As in, the people who designed and produced the game were most definitely on a combination of acid, weed, mushrooms, nitrous, vodka cranberries, and pop rocks. If I was the police, playing this game, I would instantly arrest everyone involved in its production because, damn, no sober person could think of a tenth of the crazy shit that goes on in this game.
So the guy from Donkey Kong made good one more time, and he just happened to do it in the eighth best game of all time.
(PS: Along with Mario 64, I also got WaveRace 64, which just happens to be the 11th best game of all time, but unfortunately for it, this is just a top 10 list.)
I can count on two (2) fingers the number of times I've fired up a game and had an instant sense of being overwhelmed, that what I was seeing could not possibly be, and the only word I could conjure up from my bewildered head was Keanu's "whoa". The first time was Wolfenstein 3D, when I first pushed the mouse around. The only other time it happened was with Super Mario 64.
I had gotten an N64 as a Christmas gift. It would not have been my first choice. All the cool kids were getting PlayStations, and I'd already put the Nintendo brand, and the little red-overall-wearing wop behind me. But, not wanting to be rude, I plugged it in, threw in Mario 64 and got dumped outside the castle, left to do... what? Who knows. I don't even remember, it's been so long. But I pushed the controller in a few different directions, just to see what happens. Whoa.
One thing I do remember is that the technical excellence of the game was overshadowed only by the fact that it was definitely the highest game I have ever played. As in, the people who designed and produced the game were most definitely on a combination of acid, weed, mushrooms, nitrous, vodka cranberries, and pop rocks. If I was the police, playing this game, I would instantly arrest everyone involved in its production because, damn, no sober person could think of a tenth of the crazy shit that goes on in this game.
So the guy from Donkey Kong made good one more time, and he just happened to do it in the eighth best game of all time.
(PS: Along with Mario 64, I also got WaveRace 64, which just happens to be the 11th best game of all time, but unfortunately for it, this is just a top 10 list.)
I don't have to say anything. I'm a doctor, too.