should we do some anonymous advice column thing?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Most of the time, internet advice columns play themselves out because the same two people answer them and have pretty much the same advice to give. This is because those two people are SANE.

We don't have that problem over here, where there are plenty of roving maniacs.

Anyway, regarding a thread where people can post troubling questions anonymously and the various "characters" that have come over here go to bat with some solid advice... anyone think it could work?

[Glen or Glenda?]

Sounds good to me, chief.

Me, too.

[Pinback (not Ben!)]

o/~

Wish that I could leave my room tonight.
The fast attack on my compressor's way too bright.

Think I got the threshold on too tight.
Just restart and hope that everything'll be alright.

Be alright... Be alright... Be alright...

Mail off the rebate - send it to me!
Its running itself out. Its running itself out.

Feel like a two-fer. Lets repair the machine.
Its wearing itself out. Its wearing itself out.

~\o

-Pinback, the band (not Ben!)

[forum nobody]

i agree, i think it would be fun, please don't mind me... i just want to contribute. um.

[Delbert Grady]

A capital idea Mr. Ice Cream Jonsey, sir. Simply splendid!

Perhaps a bit of solid advice would be just the medicine we need, if you don't mind my saying so. Perhaps a bit more. I feel that the readers of this forum need to be "corrected", if I may be so bold, sir. And I ought to know: I've always been here.

My girls, sir, they didn't care for the Jolt Country forum at first. One of them actually attempted to "hack" the site, and shut it down. But I "corrected" them sir. And when my wife tried to satiate my sexual appetites with a mere "hand job", well, I "corrected" her, too.

-Delbert Grady, Overlook Hotel butler

[AArdvark]

Fucking Weird, Man.



THE
FREAKED OUT
AARDVARK

[I need advice!]

What's the best way to masturbate? I mean, I've got all day, but I want to make sure I'm getting the most out of the experience.

Thanks!

[ChainGangGuy]

Allow me to give you solid, sound advice on the subject.

First, just take your...er... you use your finger(s) to...just... stroke and... grab a handful of... all the while spinning...

.
..



Hey, just what gender are you, dude? Madam? Thing!?! Fuck! I dare say we need a little more information to go on here to properly give you the right advice for you.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I think CG^2 has it right with this one. We're gonna need a gender there, friend.

[I need advice!]

Oh! I am a guy! A very ugly, fat (but horny!) guy! Sorry! It may be weeks later than my first post, but still...

I need advice!

[The Morse Code Clown]

- .... .. ... / .-. . ... --- ..- .-. -.-. . / -- .- -.-- / .... . .-.. .--. / -.-- --- ..- / -....- -....- / --. --- / .... . .-. . / .... - - .--. ---... -..-. -..-. .-- .-- .-- .-.-.- .--- .- -.-. -.- .. -. .-- --- .-. .-.. -.. .-.-.- -.-. --- -- -..-.

[The Morse Code Hitler]

... .--. .. - / --- -. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .-- .-. .. ... - --..-- / .- -. -.. / - .... . -. / .-. ..- -... / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .--. . -. .. ... / .... . .- -.. / .-- .. - .... / .. - / .-- .... .. .-.. . / -.-- --- ..- / ... - .-. --- -.- . / .-- .. - .... / - .... . / --- - .... . .-. / .... .- -. -.. .-.-.-

... . .. --. / .... . .. .-..

[The NMG's Shy Stepbrother]

Needs more morse code? Maybe... I guess. You know, if you wanted to. You don't have to though, I just thought maybe... nah, never mind, sorry.

- The "Needs More" Guy's Shy Stepbrother

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

No -- please. The "Needs More" Guy is a fine contributor to the Pinback Web Central II Bulletin Board Forum and House of Chicken And Waffles, so his more-shy (shyer? shier?) step brother is quite welcome here.

Come, come. Elucidate your thoughts!