Jolt Country

Maybe it’s because I’m getting older but the more I see new products and advertising introduced by fast food chains I’ve eaten at for years the more enraged I become.

Example 1:

Burger King - “Pulled pork sandwich”

Every time this commercial comes on, “You can keep that shit.” is my conclusion. The meat looks like it has more sauce than protein. No way in hell this pork was pulled by hand. Now I haven’t worked at Burger King for nearly 20 years, but I’d bet 20$ this “bbq” comes from their food supplier in a bag.

There are pickles on it. We do not eat pickles on bbq around here. “Crispy onions” that you know are not crispy the moment they hit that wet mess. Perhaps in a different area this could be appealing (doubtful) but trying to market it in NC where the western end of the state argues with the eastern side about how make pork properly.. it’s safe to say we’ve got plenty of places all around for a real pork sandwich. Argh the commercial just played again. This restaurant has another recent offender..

Example 2:

Burger King - “Taco”

Lmao!! This is a joke, right? No way this is acceptable. I’ve had Jack in the Box tacos with a piece of American cheese on them instead of shredded cheddar or whatever. They were ok! The BK taco is a completely different story. I can tell by the shape of the shell that it’s like the deep fried shells at Sheetz (greasy and gross). Strike 1. The filling does not resemble meat that humans eat. Strike 2. Because of the first 2, now your slice of American cheese is out of the question. Strike 3.

I don’t know who this was marketed to either except perhaps low income people without taste buds, blurred vision, and next to no sense of smell. Surely this wasn’t marketed to Mexicans. We had many Mexican customers and guess what their most ordered item was? Fucking Whoppers, that’s what!

Example 3:

KFC's "Cheetos Sandwich"

YES SIR. This ranks right up there with shit you couldn’t pay me 5$ to eat, much less use my own $.

In theory it’s a better idea than the “Pulled pork King” or wtf ever it’s name is, but this seems like something I could just make at home half drunk with leftover chicken, Cheetos, bread, and hot sauce. Thinking about that now just makes me want a spicy pimento cheese sandwich instead despite having these ingredients on hand.

There was an episode of Bevis and Buthead where one of them goes up to the counter at a 7-11 lookalike and wants some nachoes with cheese. The man was going to throw it away because it was crawling with roaches, but since he's got a paying customer...

Tdarcos wrote: ↑Mon Jul 22, 2019 12:32 am There was an episode of Bevis and Buthead where one of them goes up to the counter at a 7-11 lookalike and wants some nachoes with cheese. The man was going to throw it away because it was crawling with roaches, but since he's got a paying customer...

Hahaha I remember that episode!

Example 4:

Bojangles “Steak biscuit”



This is no steak. This is not even cubed steak type stuff going on. I have eaten maybe 12 of these in my life.. usually when they were 99 cents. It’s not horrible, but it’s not good either. The quality of it also depends highly on if the grease it was cooked in was fresh.

For me this ranks in a category of “I know it’s bad for me, but how good does it taste?” The conclusion is I’d rather have a fried pork tenderloin and gravy biscuit from a cafe down the corner for 4$ if I want to truest enjoy clogging arteries.

Mmmm, Bojangles. Another of the many things I miss from Murfreesboro, TN that we don't have up here in godforsaken O-fucking-hio.

Yeah Bojangles is still one of my favorite chicken and biscuits place! I just can't eat this thing.

Example 5:

Burger King - Impossible Whopper

How about paying more for a even more processed product than an original Whopper patty so that you can say you did not eat meat ?! I have not tried this. Will not try this. I also no longer work at BK so I can not confirm if the fake patty is cooked in the same meat broiler as everything else for the Californians here.

What do you call it when a man steals a McRib out of someone's hand after they fought to keep it? A pulled pork sandwich!

You may now groan in protest, either at my pun or the disgusting sandwich, which is delicious, by the way.

Hey Paul, did you know if you got one of your Banquet Pork Patties, heated it up, and put it on a bun with some pickles and onions, it tastes EXACTLY like a McRib! Maybe you can try that recipe out and make a video for it when you're back on your fee--

Haaa!

What's the deal with this Popeyes chicken sanwich?

THE media is calling it Chicken Sandwich Wars, and I want them to stop it.

As despicable a company as it is, aren't we all agreed that Chick-Fil-A is the end of the conversation, at least as far as fast-food chicken sandwiches goes?

God do I hate them. I am boycotting their entire company until the next time I go there.

pinback wrote: ↑Fri Aug 30, 2019 1:18 pm Hey Paul, did you know if you got one of your Banquet Pork Patties, heated it up, and put it on a bun with some pickles and onions, it tastes EXACTLY like a McRib! Maybe you can try that recipe out and make a video for it when you're back on your fee--

It's still funny, but I think Flack told that joke first. However, as far as complaining goes, I haven't got a leg to... oh wait, I still gave one left.

pinback wrote: ↑Fri Aug 30, 2019 5:47 pm As despicable a company as it is, aren't we all agreed that Chick-Fil-A is the end of the conversation, at least as far as fast-food chicken sandwiches goes?

God do I hate them. I am boycotting their entire company until the next time I go there.

A company using its profits to advance some dumbfuck agenda is awful, it shouldn't be allowed in this country but I don't know how you stop it when it's a private company. So maybe they should do what they want, who knows.

I should be eating better, but until that day happens, the race to the goddamn bottom has Chick-Fil-A on top of all the other companies that have made it their business to sell food while cutting all possible corners.

I hate daylight saving time, it should be abolished. 7-11 was contributing money to keeping it around. (I can't remember the details, I just remember the anger. That's true with a lot of things lately.) I kept going to 7-11 because there was one down the street from my house in Thornton and Jesus Christ, it shouldn't follow that regular citizens have to be the adults in the room at all times. Same shit with Chick-Fil-A.

There's one corner in Denver I get dragged to when my wife ostensibly wants to make the house nicer., our lives better, and boy am I a little shit for complaining. In this area there is a Sonic, a Burger King, a Chick-Fil-A and a Good Times. We should have had a balanced breakfast before leaving but we never do. So it's 1PM, we haven't eaten and now we gotta get something fast so we can drop off mattresses to Goodwill or bring the recycling into the can crusher or whatever the hell it is that day.

Sonic should be good for a case like this, but they are exactly like Sonic the Hedgehog games - there was one good one 20 years ago and it's never coming back.
BK is a race to the bottom.
Good Times old my wife a burger with literally green mold on the bun once, so we have banned them as a company.
Chick-Fil-A offers terrible fries, but that's good because I just don't get them. The sandwiches are good and sometimes when both of us are tired and hot and miserable, it's nice to have literally the most polite people on planet Earth make you a sandwich.

But the company sucks. Not any more than 7-11 or the hundred other companies that do evil shit. But the same. But that's how we end up there, because while the other fast places aren't famous for advancing a hate-filled agenda, they do something that is almost as bad with their terrible practices.

I try to get these excursions to take place on Sunday.

Tdarcos wrote: ↑Sat Aug 31, 2019 6:13 am

pinback wrote: ↑Fri Aug 30, 2019 1:18 pm Hey Paul, did you know if you got one of your Banquet Pork Patties, heated it up, and put it on a bun with some pickles and onions, it tastes EXACTLY like a McRib! Maybe you can try that recipe out and make a video for it when you're back on your fee--

It's still funny, but I think Flack told that joke first. However, as far as complaining goes, I haven't got a leg to... oh wait, I still gave one left.

Do you have the ability to heat up some Banquest Pork Patties, buddy?

How much do they pay people to eat that stuff?

RealNC wrote: ↑Sun Sep 01, 2019 7:25 am How much do they pay people to eat that stuff?

What are you talking about? What stuff?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: ↑Sat Aug 31, 2019 10:30 am A company using its profits to advance some dumbfuck agenda is awful, it shouldn't be allowed in this country but I don't know how you stop it when it's a private company. So maybe they should do what they want, who knows.

It used to be that corporations received charters for specific purposes, and it was possible for a stockholder or the attorney general to sue the corporation, arguing the action is ultra vires meaning the corporation did not have the power to do that. If the court agreed, it issues an injunction ordering them to stop. Nowadays corporations are usually allowed to engage in any activity as long as it's legal.

If it bothers you that much, and it's a public company, you conceivably could do something. Go online to your broker - or open an account at one if you don't have one - and buy one share of stock in that company. Now, as a stockholder you have certain rights, including proposing changes to the corporation's charter, such as prohibiting doing whatever it is you object to. You may need a certain number of additional stockholders to approve to get it presented for all stockholders to vote on at the next annual meeting. To do that you write the company via snail-mail, saying you want to make a stockholder proposal, and you want a disk or flash drive containing the list of stockholders, and include the copy of the statement from your broker showing you own 1 share. By law they have to provide this to any stockholder with a reasonable request, without charge. I did it once and got Target Corporation's stockholder list on CD. Took two letters in my case but eventually they caved.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: ↑Sat Aug 31, 2019 10:30 am I hate daylight saving time, it should be abolished. 7-11 was contributing money to keeping it around. (I can't remember the details, I just remember the anger. That's true with a lot of things lately.) I kept going to 7-11 because there was one down the street from my house in Thornton and Jesus Christ, it shouldn't follow that regular citizens have to be the adults in the room at all times. Same shit with Chick-Fil-A.

Time zones and Daylight Saving Time are handled by the US Department of Transportation. But whether a state observes DST is up to the state, that's why Arizona doesn't and Indiana used to also not participate. You could try writing your state legislators and ask they propose Colorado have a law to decline Daylight Savings Time and your reasons. Don't presume you will be ignored; I once wrote the Governor of Maryland and got a nice reply that from content and tone I know wasn't a form letter.

pinback wrote: ↑Sun Sep 01, 2019 7:38 pm

RealNC wrote: ↑Sun Sep 01, 2019 7:25 am How much do they pay people to eat that stuff?

What are you talking about? What stuff?

The image of the dead Cthulhu Flack posted. And the dried vomit from Jizaboz.