Ben's Favorite Pasta

[pinback]

Hi! Here I will show you a recipe for my very favorite pasta dish. It is a pasta-lover's pasta, meaning if you just consider pasta a delivery mechanism for the sauce, this won't do it for you. This is a "pasta-forward" dish, highlighting and enhancing the delicate taste of those delicious noodles.

It also happens to be the simplest pasta recipe in the world, unless you count "heat up a jar of sauce and pour it on top". It would be suitable for a young bachelor on the move, or as a side dish at even the most posh to-do's in the cashmere-and-champagne set!

The most perfect pasta recipe? Perhaps!

This recipe serves one (1). Multiply all of the amounts by the number of people you want to feeeeeed:

BEN'S FAVORITE PASTA
---------------------------
1/2 cup spaghetti or thin spaghetti (about 1/4 of a box)
2 tbsp olive oil
3 cloves garlic, minced
2-3 anchovies
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes (to taste)
Grated parmesan (optional)

1. Cook pasta in well-salted water, al dente of course.

2. Meanwhile, heat olive oil over medium, and throw in the anchovies. They will dissolve in the oil. It's an amazing process! And the result is not a fishy taste/smell, it's a nutty, salty, wonderfully umami (*) taste. Magic!

3. Once anchovies are dissolved and pasta is cooked, throw in red pepper and garlic for a minute, until aromatic.

4. Remove from heat, drain pasta, toss pasta in pan until well-mixed with sauce, top with parmesan (optional) and enjoy...

...Ben's Favorite Pasta!




(*) I have no idea what this means, and neither do you.

[Flack]

This is begging for a Ben/Paul cook off. Like one of those cooking shows combined with the odd couple.

[pinback]

I agree with this and confirm my involvement.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Tdarcos can return if he does a cooking video of this.

[Tdarcos Legal Department]

Tdarcos can return if he does a cooking video of this.

Dear Sir or Madam:

Tansin A. Darcos was requested by you to cease posting here. So he did. Presumably this is the reason his account was not deleted or suspended. So therefore, it basically is impossible for him to respond without breaking the very requirement you imposed upon him.

Had you or someone else not mentioned this challenge on Caltrops, he'd probably never have noticed it as he has more or less stopped visiting here because he's been busy porting the Free Pascal Compiler to the IBM z/System mainframe, in order to put paid all those who claim his skills are not up to current standards, as it will make him the first person to provide an altermative to C or C++ in the form of a full service Object Pascal compiler for a mainframe platform. All existing Pascal Compilers for mainframes have tended to be Standard Pascal which is old technology.

You should not try to beg someone to return from the grave after you've demanded they crawl in so you can throw dirt on their corpse. like the late Mr. Euro Trash of Caltrops.

Sincerely
Boyd, Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe, attorneys for Commander Tansin A. Darcos.

[AArdvark]

Well, can Mr. Johnny Darcos just make a food video without actually posting here?


THE
LOOPHOLE
AARDVARK

[pinback]

So are we doing this or what the fuck?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Yeah, I sure was "begging." Christ you're a drama queen.

Are you two doing this or not?

[The Happiness Engine]

Or you could just put the butter back into your bagna cauda.

[Tdarcos]

Yeah, I sure was "begging." Christ you're a drama queen.

Are you two doing this or not?

I'm thinking. Nope. Maybe. Yes. Possibly. Absolutely not. It has potential for occurring. Like expecting the <i>Pawn Stars</i> to pay retail for the stuff people want to sell them: "Ain't gonna happen."

Now if I can think of some more Magic 7 Ball-type responses. Yeah, I know it's real name, but I have to leave a little room for a good answer. I don't have one yet.

[Tdarcos]

Well, can Mr. Johnny Darcos just make a food video without actually posting here?


THE
LOOPHOLE
AARDVARK

You know what, I just got fucked in the ass by God (if He exists) because I got out to the bus stop for a bus I now see is due at 12 minutes afer, and sat in the cold and waited, it must have been at least 15 minutes, and then when someone went by, I asked the time, and it was 28 after, meaning I must have missed the bus. I gave it an extra 2 minutes because I didn't want to just leave and have the bus show up, then decided I'll go home and come back in 1/2 an hour, it's too cold to sit out here.

So I turned around and rolled off, and that's when the bus showed up. 30 fucking seconds later, the instant I decided it was too cold to sit around for another half hour. I was deliberately assfucked with malice and if there is a God he's an unforgivable monster who deserves nothing but contempt. I have so much wanted to believe, but this time if he exists, he's broken me irreparably, I can never forgive again.

So right now I'm in a bad mood. Either call me Paul, or call me by my nickname which you know fulll well what it is. I'm really ticked and I am not happy about being abandoned by the cruel monster who's shown either his unforgivably malicious sadism or his nonexistence..

I never gave up. I was abandoned. I cannot forgive and I cannot forget.

[AArdvark]

Well, you didn't get HIT by the bus. That's something, right?

The Johnny Darkos thing was a term of endearment but if you want your handle then I will give it to you.

So...Tdarcos, now that you're posting again. Not now or in the immediate future, but can you say somewhere down the road is there a possibility of a new cooking video? This is harder than getting Don Rogers to get back on the air. Perhaps you should do a Skype dual thing with Don. Each of you cooking and filming while you record a DR episode. That way we all get the goodness that is Don Rogers, Cooking and Tdarcos!

THE
PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS
AARDVARK

[Tdarcos]

Well, you didn't get HIT by the bus. That's something, right?

True, although I did get hit by a car once. Was playing in the gravel in front of the car, the driver never bothered to look, and just drove off. Was probably about 1966 or 1967.

The Johnny Darkos thing was a term of endearment but if you want your handle then I will give it to you.

(Scene where Debra Winger is on her deathbed about to throw tissues at a guy. Guy has huge hand cannon, and turns to her) "Go ahead, make my day."
"Coming soon: Terms of Sudden Endearment"

So...Tdarcos, now that you're posting again. Not now or in the immediate future, but can you say somewhere down the road is there a possibility of a new cooking video?

I have at least 5 videos still in the can, I just can't seem to get around to editing them. Two or thee cooking videos, one on how to install driveway lamps, and possibly one on something else. It's just been so cold lately I don't want to come out of my room to spend the time to do them.

After I got fucked twice today, then I'm rolling to the stop, and the bus shows up 30 seconds before I get there, I turned around and said, "Fuck it, I'm ordering a pizza." All I wanted to do was go to the goddam store and buy some food.

This is harder than getting Don Rogers to get back on the air. Perhaps you should do a Skype dual thing with Don.

Don Rogers will always have problems with getting fucked-in-the-ass by Skype the way God keeps on fucking me in the ass every chance He can get.

Each of you cooking and filming while you record a DR episode. That way we all get the goodness that is Don Rogers, Cooking and Tdarcos!

THE
PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS
AARDVARK

As a now certified atheist, I can swear in the name of all that is unholy and profane that we will live long enough to see the 2nd Coming long before Don Rogers does another episode!