John Blade's Verdict: Come on now, assjack! If you need twenty minutes to get the protagonist out of danger then you're a fricking vulva.
Len Wossname's Verdict: Har! Bleedin' wassit, luved ocours, narmean?
My Verdict: I so wanted to love this game.
The Review...
The game is funny. It's humor is mostly inspired from Magnetic Scrolls' diamond-in-the-rough Jinxter (what with the British wossname, or "what's its name" and all) but that's perfectly okay. I was hoping that we could get an instant classic out of this year's comp and I hoped this was it. This was the first game I played.
The game starts you off with 6,712 points. Reading the story so far, and how you got to that score is pretty funny. OK, it did have the obligatory "flaming head" reference which I think is pretty goddamn mediocre, but the game obviously doesn't take itself too seriously so who am I to be the grumpy and disheveled one?
In the game, you play an idiot adventurer named Spodgeville Murphy. You were sent to pick up the eye in order to solve the problem of the Queen's progressing illness. You start off with the jeweled eye before you -- game in progress, natch. Everything to that point is dour, genuinely funny (not just computer-game funny!) and immersive.
I couldn't get out of the cave, though.
I wanted to. Oh, yes, did I want to. I can't post hint requests or anything because I'm also an author in the comp, so I spent my two hours more or less trying to come up with a wacky solution. I couldn't do it. I needed a walkthrough. There was none to be found.
Question and answer time!
Q: Did you find the game entertaining?
A: Gor! And how!
Q: Would you play the game after the comp to its finish?
A: If I can find a hint guide, definitely. I want to hear what Mr. Fillmore has to say. I
want to know more about Spodgeville Murphy. I want to understand the land he comes from,
the culture that produced him, his motivation for adventuring.
Q: Christ, you make me sick. Why not research a real
goddamn culture, geek? It might come in handy if you ever date again.
A: Look assjack, all I need to know about culture and chicks is right here: "Wow, I
had no idea. I'm definitely going to claim [Region X] next time I play
Risk, though." There. I have no fucking clue where Persia is, what they did
throughout history or if they are still together. But Persian Girl still has black hair
and brown eyes and is hot. I can also now segue into Risk jokes and rip off Seinfeld.
Spodgeville, though. That's for my entertainment purposes.
Q: You gonna pick up the next David Fillmore game?
A: Hell. I was so impressed with the little I admittedly saw that at this point I'd pick
up the next game written by Millard Fillmore.
Q: Are you going to write another review after getting a
hint?
A: Probably. Possibly. Likely. Watch this space.
Q: Okay.
A: Aces.
Simple Rating: 7.0 / 10
Complicated Rating:
Story: 9.2 / 10
Writing: 9.3 / 10
Playability: 3.0 / 10
Puzzle Quality: 2.0 / 10
Parser Responsiveness: 7.0 / 10
MaDDnEsS sprach the following on April 25th, 2003: Definatly the game style i enjoy... just get working on the sequal you promised Mr Fillmore...
Robb sprach the following on May 31st, 2003: Let's see if we can't streamline that capital letters process there, denizens.