Airport Mania

New game out, everyone! It’s called Airport Mania and it is unique among thousands of independent shareware games in that it is the only one I have purchased in the last six months or so.

Here is a link to it, and I guarantee that as soon as you see the screenshots, you will not want to play it:

http://www.reflexive.com/AirportManiaFirstFlight.html

I don’t know what “genre” of game this belongs to, but it’s probably something like “resource management” or “cartoonish airplanes that look like that show for babies with the animated airplanes”.

You don’t want to download it because it’s so goddamn goofy looking. It looks like it’s for kids. And I guess you could say it is. It’s for smart kids. Or kids of all ages! Don’t worry about it. You will think it’s stupid while you’re reading about it, and think it’s stupid while you’re downloading it, and think it’s stupid while you’re installing it, and even think it’s stupid while you’re playing the tutorial.

And then you will click “play”, and you will not stop until your demo time runs out, and then you will, without taking your gaze off your monitor, reach around with whichever hand suits you and start hunting through your pants for your credit card.

There’s no way to describe it that would make you want to play it. Airplanes with big bright eyes and goofy smiles fly around the sky, and your job is to click on them, then click on the runway to make them land, then click on the gate to make them unload their passengers (while all the while they’re giggling and cooing away with that goddamn stupid grin on their face), then click on them again, then click on another runway to make them take off and giggle and coo along their merry way.

There, did that make you want to play it? Of course not. And it only slightly helps to tell you that if you make them wait too long, their cute little faces start to turn angry and they glare at you. Oooo, those tempermental cute widdle awwopwanes.

And when they need gas, they blink their eyes at you and a little thought bubble comes out with a picture of a gas tank on it.

Like I said, no way to make you want to play it.

But it’s addictive as hell, designed to never give you any reason to not click “next level”, and just an overall heck of a darned tootin’ good time.

I give this game four goofy, cartoonish, gay-ass smiles.