Way to Vote, You Dumb Fuckers
Ice Cream Jonsey Al Franken and some fascist (I assume) are running for Senator in Minnesota, and as someone who had the election results hours ahead of time, thanks to Nate Silver and…
theoreticals and essays
So This Is What Getting Old Is Like
I have some friends who are 21 or 22, and no doubt thinking, “Hell yes, you are old. Christ.” Most of my other close friends are around 37, because I…
The Canonical List of Miserable Games
I wrote a scene in Fallacy of Dawn where the player is expected to give horrible games to a clerk that is a bit of a gaming elitist. The clerk…
Quit Fucking Around With Halloween
Guys: You make women feel terrible about how they dress and act 364 days a year. Especially if you’re on the Internet. Don’t you monsters DARE try to “recognize the…
Hats off to Ben Parrish
Hi! As some of you may know, my life recently went topsy-turvy. If my life were in a comic book, it would have had a banner that read, “EVERYTHING YOU…
You Suck At Making Mashed Potatoes
Pinback Let’s face it, you do! Sure, if you pile enough cheese and bacon in there, you can come up with something resembling something edible, but when it comes to just…
Dead Rising: Broken, or Broken Like a Fox?
Nobody was more psyched to get Dead Rising, at least in September 2008, than me. It’s been out for a while now, and I’ve heard amazing things about it. I…
Positive Trends in Drunkenness
I would like to alert you all to what I feel is a very positive trend, at least as positive as something can be in the sinful, destructive realm of…
Save Everywhere
When it comes to computer and console games, there is one sure-fire way to make me despise the game, the developers, its publisher and all the testers (I started off…
Braid: Non-Spoiler Review
IÂ have completed the game (with the exception of some secret, hidden content I’m now learning about from the Intertubes), and so will now present a NON-SPOILER REVIEW. I will…