The Three Greatest Movie Performances Ever
Pinback 1. This was originally going to be a top five list, but I couldn’t think of two others that fit the criteria I will list in #2 below. Which is…
theoreticals and essays
Directv Has The Worst Customer Service of All-Time
Ice Cream Jonsey I’m still amazed at what I’ve been through today. Â I’m hoping that this turns up in some searches, so people can see what they are in for. I had…
The Best You Can Do Is Make Him Laugh At Your Predicament.
Here’s the thing about Tiger Woods: Nobody argues about it anymore. There was a time, if you can believe it, that there was such a thing as the “Big Four”…
‘Tis the Season
Knuckles the Clown Hey, it’s Knuckles again. Instead of asking questions on how to meet woman, I like to ask questions on how to deal with them after a night of awkwardily pawing…
Way to Vote, You Dumb Fuckers
Al Franken and some fascist (I assume) are running for Senator in Minnesota, and as someone who had the election results hours ahead of time, thanks to Nate Silver and…
So This Is What Getting Old Is Like
I have some friends who are 21 or 22, and no doubt thinking, “Hell yes, you are old. Christ.” Most of my other close friends are around 37, because I…
The Canonical List of Miserable Games
I wrote a scene in Fallacy of Dawn where the player is expected to give horrible games to a clerk that is a bit of a gaming elitist. The clerk…
Quit Fucking Around With Halloween
Guys: You make women feel terrible about how they dress and act 364 days a year. Especially if you’re on the Internet. Don’t you monsters DARE try to “recognize the…
Hats off to Ben Parrish
Hi! As some of you may know, my life recently went topsy-turvy. If my life were in a comic book, it would have had a banner that read, “EVERYTHING YOU…
You Suck At Making Mashed Potatoes
Let’s face it, you do! Sure, if you pile enough cheese and bacon in there, you can come up with something resembling something edible, but when it comes to just…