Defcon Nite Results

Well, the maiden voyage of Defcon Nite is over. There were some ups and downs, but taken all together, for a first time attempt, I’d say that even though there were a few glitches here and there, still at the end, it was a complete and utter failure in every respect.

Now let’s do one of those time-worn, time-weathered, time-honored, dumbass traditions of listing the Winners & Losers!

WINNER

Me, in the two games any collection of the contestants were able to complete. This is of no importance though, since the point was just to have fun.

LOSER

WORM. He did his usual “three days of bitching about GAME NITE before GAME NITE occurs”, then finally decided to HONOR us with his presence at the last minute, and then COULDN’T EVEN FUCKING CONNECT TO THE SERVER, when everyone else in the universe could. Once again, Worm did his best to ruin GAME NITE, and it’s easy to make a strong case that he succeeded.

WINNER

Hygraed, for having the stones and integrity to show up and give it his best shot, even though he had no idea what the hell he was doing.

LOSER 

ICJ’s internet connection. He got booted off five minutes into the first game, and continued to get booted off every five minutes thereafter during the entire evening. Only by having HIM host a game was any semblance of continuity established.

WINNER

ICJ, for never giving up, sticking with it, actually managing to have a good time, and even bought the game afterward, which bodes well for further DEFCON NITES.

FUCKING LOSERS

The unbelievable fucking man-child DICKNUTS over at the Defcon forum. Look at this thread. This is all you have to know.

WINNER 

ICJ, for his post in the above thread, which hopefully will not have been deleted by the time you read this.

LOSER

WORM.

WINNER

DEFCON itself. Putting aside both its nearly unrivaled elegance and atmosphere, as well, as my own personal bias toward the game — being EXACTLY the game that I have wanted since I was 13 years old, with that desire never wavering, even after the cold war ended and I grew up and got three dogs, each disabled in their own special way — the deeper I delve into it, the more the genius of it shines through. Not as the deepest, most complex strategy game ever, but as a perfect mix of strategy, simplicity, fun, lack of micromanagement, and being able to complete an entire game in under 45 minutes, which is about all that people with 3 dogs (or 5 cats) have time for. It’s a joy to play, it’s a joy to watch, it’s a joy to just experience, and it’s the least frustrating strategy game to lose that I’ve ever played.