Golf is a 4x Game

ICJ: Isn’t your birthday coming up?
Pinback:  Yes.
ICJ:  I just added your birthday to my calendar, and set it for “yearly” reoccurance. However, it wants to know how many years to run. Did you have any insight on that? Maybe a rough estimate? Or a range, that’s fine too.
Pinback:  I am guessing… 48 more years.
Pinback: That can’t be right.  41 years.
ICJ:  I’ll set it for 45 and we can adjust if later it looks close one way or the other.
Pinback:  I dunno if I can keep this up that long.
ICJ:  I could get 1,000 years and it wouldn’t be enough. What a ripoff.

Pinback:  I could do 1000 years if I could golf every day.
ICJ:  We are DOWN THE STREET from a golf course, here at work.
Pinback:  Damn.
Pinback: I’d be all at the driving range every day for lunch.
Pinback:  (Which is what I did last time I worked down the street from a golf course.)
Pinback: D they have a driving range?
ICJ:  I imagine so, I will check, one sec.
ICJ:  … They do!
Pinback:  Then that is what I would do.

ICJ:  The thing is, you have to take the club from the rich prick in the course’s website photos before they let you onto the range. And it’s difficult, because he breathes fire and has claws that rend and teeth that bite!
Pinback:  Oh no!
ICJ:  Yeah, it sucks

Pinback:  You should start practicing now.  I want you on that range 3 times a week, Robbb!
ICJ: I’ll see if I can get a 9 iron at the flea market. I don’t trust myself with a driver. It’s just farther I’ll have to go out of bounds to get my ball
Pinback:  That is wise.
Pinback:  See, that’s smart golf. Everyone tries to go out and bomb it.
Pinback: I only  started getting better when I realized that you gotta play GOLF, man, not just bomb it.  You gotsta have STRATEGIES.
Pinback: You gotta know when to just kick it on up there, instead of trying to nuke  it. Which, if you’re new, is: “always”.

ICJ:  Right – strategy is all about interesting decisions, like, “do I use a wood or an iron here,” “do I try to go over the water or take two shots” and “if I ditch the sand wedge, how much more rum can I put in the bag.”
Pinback:  That is ADVANCED strategy.
ICJ:  I am going to take three clubs – 3 iron, 9 iron, putter. If I get the ball into a sand trap, I am simply commandeering the leaf blower from the landscapist.
ICJ: The rest of the bag will be a gin / Tropical Punch Kool-Aid mix. That is my strategy for resource allocation.
Pinback:  Golf is a 4X game!
Pinback:  1.  X-amine alcohol percentage on bottle.
2.  X-punge alcohol from bottle into mouth.
3.  X-pel vomit all over your shoes.
4.  X-plain to girlfriend/fiance why you have vomit on your shoes and are passed out on the floor.