A haunting memory from the past comes back today.
TIMELINE: DECEMBER 30, 2004
Apparently a wall of water dumped on a large number of people in the Indonesia region, giving millions of people their first baths in months. Unfortunately the sight of clean fingernails caused about 120,00 people to perish. No, there won’t be any jokes about Bush blaming this on Iran, although I think he should. All of that goddamned oil drilling probably caused a shift in the tectonic plate. If he were to use that as a basis for war against another axis of evil, well, good enough for me.
No, the tragedy runs deeper. When I was but a boy I remember taking what was called social studies. I always liked the way they named classes. Some schools called it Geography. Some schools called math- Arithmetic and some schools called English.. Language Arts. No matter how they dressed anything up you knew you were going to be lugging a shitty textbook around for the next 8 to 9 months.
In my Social Studies textbook, I remember that the sons of bitches that made it had the audacity to predict the world population for the year 2060. The graph looked something like this.
http://www.gumption.org/1993/memo/landmarks/world_population.gif
Notice the disturbing trend. Everything is fine and dandy for a hundred thousand years and then all of a sudden the thing erects itself like one of you looking at naked pictures of Lieutenant Uhura.
Well Bullshit I always said. How the fuck does some idiot publishing company think they have the right to pretend they know how many people are going to be around in 50 years. Take this unfortunate event called Tsunami, or as I call it natures -Level 3 population control. People breed in Southeast Asia like the women are attractive or something. Everyone knows that if you are attractive and female in SE Asia the following precautions are taken.
1. Violently taken from your home at the age of 12.
2. Reproductive organs removed with crude tools
3. Sold to a brothel
4. Have sex with foreign businessmen for the next 20 years.
5. Reunited with family on 60 minutes
6. Killed in natural disaster.
If you are a promising young male
1. Violently taken from your home at the age of 12
2. Reproductive organs removed and ground into powder for “herbal supplement”
3. Sold to a brothel
4. Have sex with middle age men for 5 years
5. Go to work for Tech Company in U.S.
The rest of the people are left sitting around breeding and making small toys and appliances. They also have kids at the rate of 1 per when the stitches come off.
Which brings me to my point. With world population growing rampant, and the thought of some hippy social studies book writer being right, nature steps in. Nature takes small steps like taking over the mind of 20 Saudi’s and forcing them to crash airplanes into buildings. It takes medium steps like creating diseases like AIDS and whooping cough. And then once in a while it says “fuck it” and forces the water (the deadliest force in nature’s abundant repitoire) to rise up and wipe out hundreds of thousands.
In review
Level 1- Nature controls human minds for dasterdly deeds
Level 2- Diseases, animal exctintion, the slow death
Level 3 Natural Disasters in highly populated poor countries
Level 4- natures Level 4 population control is called “Global Killer” THIS GUY gets a phone call
http://marvelite.prohosting.com/surfer/galactus/profile.html
Discuss!
Ice Cream Jonsey 
Rob O'Hara
This is a mess of a post, probably stemming from trying to simultaneously be funny and controversial. I’m at all sure what point you’re trying to make, or indeed if you’re trying to make any point at all.
You are cooky Mikey!
@Lucian:
I, Robb, am actually going through some things that will prevent me from updating the website this week, so I am getting a helping hand from “Knuckles.” I know that a lot of websites have alter-ego contributors from the main author, but I did want to say for the record that the Clown is not me. (The guy who thinks he is on fire all the time is actually the fine work of contributor ChainGangGuy, but other than that I think we are all separate people to the front page.)
I only wanted to clarify it because, to be honest, I respect you greatly and did not want you to think I am a monster.
#way-belated, but I ended up forming no opinions of Knuckles’s character, concluding in the end that the post was too much of a mess to make snap judgments. But I am still glad to know it wasn’t you, since usually your posts aren’t a mess!
(And I’m touched that you’d say you respect me greatly; I’ll try to live up to that!)