It’s Knuckles the Clown Week: When I’m Feeling Down

When I’m feeling down I stop masterbating for two days and eat nothing but fruit. Then once 48 hours pass, after I’ve I really missed the little things in life like junk food and self pleasure I buy a bucket of KFC and watch four hours of porno. It makes me feeeeel better and more confidant.

Since my life is in more ruin the any of you could ever imagine, I’ve found some things than can help you overcome your whatever.

You can start by telling people what you want instead of pussyfooting around it. If you want five extra pounds of cheese on your pizza, tell the fucking person at the pizza place what you want instead of worrying about them laughing at you for having disgusting eating habits. They are working at a pizza place=they don’t matter.

Any girl that isn’t in your daily “routine” that is midly attractive-ask out. You never have to see her again, she doesn’t know about your endless problems, and if she says no, SHE’S JUST A DUMB CUNT that doesn’t know any better.

If you are not overweight and are over 30 YOU HAVE WON! This society breeds fat cattle. If you are still skinny after 30 years of walking around this smorgasborg, you have attained the rank of Arch-Mage.

And finnally, there are thousands of people out there who WANT to be your friend. Ever jackass place I’ve worked for had at least 5 people who wanted to be my friend. Unfortunatley I hate everyone and don’t require friendship. But the only way to overcome your fears is to take a chance on these cretins and hang out with them. After hanging out with them twice you may actual befriend someone.