Knuckles Goes To The Comics Store

I happend upon dinner with my brother this week. No he’s not a clown so fuck off. Anyhow he dragged me in to a comic book shop at the end of the LARGE MEAL I DID ENJOY. Where did this meal take place? None of your goddamned business, he paid making anything I crammed into me pie hole an absolute treat. 

So back to the comic book shop. The “people” working/lounging/getting diabetes there blew my mind. There was a kid with a broken foot, a kid with a broken arm and three adolescents sitting at a table playing a super hero dice game. My question is how did any of these people break a bone? I mean seriously, if you work or hang out a comix shop all day how do sustain injury. Tripping over dice? Stumbling over the new shipment of Green Arrow? My guess is since these bufoons were preteens they probably are faking injuries to avoid Phys Ed. 

This bothers me. When growing up I idolized people like Brian Sipe, Mike Hargrove and Larry Nance. In order to be like them I worked out and tried to to be an athlete. These losers idolize comic book characters so shouldn’t they take an interest in fitness? No they hang around reading about more characters and hoping an atom bomb goes off while they are playing with insects. BEETLE BOY! MILLER MOTH GIRL! SUPER SCABIES! THE INCREDIBLE UNCANNY AND SPECTACULAR MEAL WORM-PERSON! 

These kids need the cold hard truth about nuclear accidents. 

1. For one they will be rendered sterile, a plus. If these kids find someone to reproduce with we will have a civilization of llimp-wristed noodle brained bath room attendants. 

2. Nuclear power does not make geeky nerds into superheroes. Lots and lots of steroids make this possible. Imagine an army of Barry Bonds swinging sweet justice thrpugh super power Iraq. 

3. Nuclear power makes people uncomfortable. All nuclear power has acomplished is birth defects, cancer and the death of 100,000 future game cube players. People are leery. 

4. Finaly in this earth, nuclear power can only make super villians and not super-heroes.