This is exactly how I want my retirement to NOT be. I want to make games, play games, see people, see family, have laughs and not be like whatever those things are. GOD. That is hell.

Update: the neighbor across the street won the showdown, if you could call it that. Next door neighbor put the push mower away first and did his lawn with his #2 rider on Wednesday

LOLOL this is fucking great comedy.

I happened to be push-mowing my yard yesterday while my neighbor was on his riding mower. We waved at each other once then went about our business! Your neighbors are weird, man.

Boy wouldn't it be funny if they both had heart attacks and I'm over here making sport of them

It's like they both showed up at a party wearing the same dress.

They left them sitting out all night. It's now a Mexican Mower Standoff!

(Insert Good, Bad and Ugly theme here)

Wonder if they made an agreement so neither has to listen to the other mow?

I have no explanation. The mowers are still out front, perhaps they will be there until someone gives up and finishes cutting first, I just dunno

Maybe they went inside to duke it out on the Playstation. Winner cuts first.

It's weirder and weirder.

Neighbor A was cutting his lawn with his #4 mower (I forgot about the push mower). Neighbor B across the street starts cutting his lawn with a push mower. After five minutes of this they can't stand it anymore and THEY BOTH STOP AT THE SAME TIME and go into their houses. But they leave the mowers out.

I swear I'm living in Westworld or something....

Maybe build an AI mower that you schedule at the same time and add some kind of joke?

It's his hobby I guess.

It is a garbage hobby. But three lawn mowers makes it that guy's thing.

Update.

Ive just realized that the neighbors on both sides of me now own three lawnmowers EACH.

They both have a zero-turn, a triple bagger vacuum type and a general purpose lawn tractor/ mower. They now use multiple mowers on the same day.
There's some odd Stepford Wives lawnmower vibes going on here. I think this is moving from weird to obsessed.

This is not lawn etiquette per se, but kind of.

I have been watching my sister in law's dogs this week. They are good dogs. They have taken to protecting the house, it seems. If they hear anything, they start barking and that makes my dog bark. This is problematic at night because I need to get my goddamn sleep. But it is Friday and we are making it through.

It is now Friday morning. All the dogs have been barking non-stop. I go out to see what is up and I see - without my glasses, so some shapes are not distinct:

1. A different dog on my driveway
2. Two or three little blonde girls playing
3. At least one adult hanging around

Like, the area we live in, I don't have this huge problem with people playing in the surrounding forest area. What is it for, if not kids and dogs. The driveway is a little much, I guess? Like, never in a thousand years would I take my nephew over to someone's DRIVEWAY and say, hey, have at it. But this is complicated by the fact that the dogs in this house are loud. There is no possible way the adult does not hear them.

We have new neighbors who seem nice and after getting my glasses, I haven't been able to see them. There are some times where, yeah, you can let an obvious situation go and then yell out "KNOCK IT OFF!" or whatever, and then there are some situations so incredibly egregious - like letting your nieces play in someone's yard to where the dogs inside are clearly going berserk - where you shouldn't have to say anything. A modicum of situational awareness should do it.

I will go out if it continues after posting this message I guess, but JFC.

I checked the thread and I have not posted this.

I asked my dad why he was such a lawn nut. He said that after his father died - when he was 14 or 15 - he was determined to not let a single neighbor think anything was wrong or that his remaining family of mother, brother and sister were wanting or lacking anything. It was a total pride thing. (Also his older brother, whom I never had a memory of meeting, was mentally retarded if I read between the lines). So the youngest kid took it upon himself to present an outward face that everything was fine.

I also, in reading between the lines, thatnas an adult, riding the mower for 2 hours was his break from the kids and wife. I get it.

You guys also get so much rain, Vark -- while some of these lunatics go crazy about it, it does grow fast!

I truly believe they care more about their lawns than their families, the State or Man's undying place in this world.

Did I mention the one neighbor has TWO riding mowers? A regular Deere (like mine) and a zero-turn. He cuts the lawn twice a week. I haven't figured out why, perhaps he's just bored?

Well, sure, but if I'm right, then it kinda makes you all look like dicks.

Something is going on. That is the fairest, most charitable explanation and it came from someone that hates us, hates this place, wishes that it would burn to the ground and take all of us, screaming with him.

Did we dimension shift? What is happening??

How is it pinback came up with the most compassionate explanation for this behavior?

Perhaps they are just being considerate, thinking that one mower is loud enough, but with two of 'em goin' on side-by-each, it may be significantly unpleasant for the non-mowing neighbors.

After three years that's the only remotely believable theory I could come up with.

Yesterday I waited until my left side neighbor started cutting his lawn then I started cutting mine. There were no issues, we even waved at each other. Maybe it's just the right side neighbor?

For the rest of the summer I am going to wait until one or the other has started and see what happens. I might also mow in sync with them, so we both are cutting in the same direction at the same time, like syncopated swimmers.