by pinback » Mon Jan 04, 2010 2:17 pm
BONUS FOOD I COULD EAT EVERY DAY + WALMART-BASED RECIPE: Philly Cheesesteak
Look at that picture above. That's the banner for the website of South Philly Cheesesteaks, a chain of cheesesteak jernts which is so far and away better than any so-called "authentic philly cheesesteak" place in town, and in almost every other town I've ever lived in, that it's really shameful any other place would dare call themselves authentic. Or, you know, "good".
I have been there many a-time. I introduced Robb Sherwin to this place, and he was kind enough to agree that it makes every other cheesesteak place in town appear to be peddling twelve-inch, foil-wrapped tubes of hog feces.
But I got to thinking. Might there be an easy way to make a South Philly Cheesesteak cheesesteak at home? Might there be an easy way to make it cheaper? And just as good? Might there even be a way to make it...
better?
Friends, join me on our quest. Our quest... for cheap, easy, awesome, homemade cheesesteaks!
STEP 1!!! Swallow your pride, put in some heavy-duty earplugs to shield you from the din of screaming children, go to a WalMart that has groceries in it, and get a box of THIS:
STEP 2!!! While you're there, pick up a yellow/brown onion (not pictured), and a jar of THIS:
If you'd rather use some other type of cheese, substitute that here, but I've tried 'em all, and nothing comes close to the tangy goodness of Whiz, in the context of cheesesteaks. The rest of this recipe assumes you've made the right choice, assumes you've made the
Whiz choice.
STEP 3!!! Get the rolls.
This is the only hard part. You're gonna need those
Amoroso rolls. Now, my local South Philly, you ask 'em for a six-pack of 8" rolls, and they'll give 'em to ya for a couple bucks. That's the only/easiest way I've found to get a hold of 'em. If you have no luck with that, and like me, haven't found a way to order them online, you may have to bite the bullet and substitute some other kinda roll. You're looking for a roll with a light, but still crispy, crust, and a nice spongy, chewy inside. I haven't found a suitable substitute, but maybe your local bakery can hook you up.
STEP 4!!! Make the cheesesteak, and you do that by doing this:
4a. Turn your oven or toaster on low, low heat and put the roll in there so it can warm while you're making the rest of it.
4b. Chop up a quarter of the onion and saute it in a little olive oil until soft. Set aside.
4c. Open that WALMART MEAT. You will find what looks like little sirloin patties. But they are not! They are finely sliced and chopped bits of sirloin pressed together and frozen to look like sirloin patties! Holy fuck! Take TWO of the patties and cook, following the directions. Basically you throw the patties into a hot pan, flip after a couple minutes, and then they start to fall apart into instant cheesesteak awesomeness. Best invention ever? I say AYE.
4d. When meat's about done, throw in the onion, and a heapin', HEAPIN' tablespoon (or two) of Cheez Whiz. As you stir it around for the next minute or two, it will melt and everything in the pan will start to coagulate into a gooey, Cheez-y, meaty fucking mess.
4e. Scoop the fucking mess into the roll.
You are now ready to have the BEST GODDAMN CHEESESTEAK YOU WILL EVER EAT, and a food that I, personally, could eat every day:
[b]BONUS FOOD I COULD EAT EVERY DAY + WALMART-BASED RECIPE: [color=yellow]Philly Cheesesteak[/color][/b]
[url=http://yosouthphillycheesesteaks.com][img]http://yosouthphillycheesesteaks.com/images/banner.jpg[/img][/url]
Look at that picture above. That's the banner for the website of South Philly Cheesesteaks, a chain of cheesesteak jernts which is so far and away better than any so-called "authentic philly cheesesteak" place in town, and in almost every other town I've ever lived in, that it's really shameful any other place would dare call themselves authentic. Or, you know, "good".
I have been there many a-time. I introduced Robb Sherwin to this place, and he was kind enough to agree that it makes every other cheesesteak place in town appear to be peddling twelve-inch, foil-wrapped tubes of hog feces.
But I got to thinking. Might there be an easy way to make a South Philly Cheesesteak cheesesteak at home? Might there be an easy way to make it cheaper? And just as good? Might there even be a way to make it... [i]better?[/i]
Friends, join me on our quest. Our quest... for cheap, easy, awesome, homemade cheesesteaks!
STEP 1!!! Swallow your pride, put in some heavy-duty earplugs to shield you from the din of screaming children, go to a WalMart that has groceries in it, and get a box of THIS:
[img]http://moltobenny.com/pics/walmart-meat.jpg[/img]
STEP 2!!! While you're there, pick up a yellow/brown onion (not pictured), and a jar of THIS:
[img]http://moltobenny.com/pics/whiz.jpg[/img]
If you'd rather use some other type of cheese, substitute that here, but I've tried 'em all, and nothing comes close to the tangy goodness of Whiz, in the context of cheesesteaks. The rest of this recipe assumes you've made the right choice, assumes you've made the [i]Whiz[/i] choice.
STEP 3!!! Get the rolls.
This is the only hard part. You're gonna need those [url=http://amorosobaking.com/]Amoroso rolls[/url]. Now, my local South Philly, you ask 'em for a six-pack of 8" rolls, and they'll give 'em to ya for a couple bucks. That's the only/easiest way I've found to get a hold of 'em. If you have no luck with that, and like me, haven't found a way to order them online, you may have to bite the bullet and substitute some other kinda roll. You're looking for a roll with a light, but still crispy, crust, and a nice spongy, chewy inside. I haven't found a suitable substitute, but maybe your local bakery can hook you up.
STEP 4!!! Make the cheesesteak, and you do that by doing this:
4a. Turn your oven or toaster on low, low heat and put the roll in there so it can warm while you're making the rest of it.
4b. Chop up a quarter of the onion and saute it in a little olive oil until soft. Set aside.
4c. Open that WALMART MEAT. You will find what looks like little sirloin patties. But they are not! They are finely sliced and chopped bits of sirloin pressed together and frozen to look like sirloin patties! Holy fuck! Take TWO of the patties and cook, following the directions. Basically you throw the patties into a hot pan, flip after a couple minutes, and then they start to fall apart into instant cheesesteak awesomeness. Best invention ever? I say AYE.
4d. When meat's about done, throw in the onion, and a heapin', HEAPIN' tablespoon (or two) of Cheez Whiz. As you stir it around for the next minute or two, it will melt and everything in the pan will start to coagulate into a gooey, Cheez-y, meaty fucking mess.
4e. Scoop the fucking mess into the roll.
You are now ready to have the BEST GODDAMN CHEESESTEAK YOU WILL EVER EAT, and a food that I, personally, could eat every day:
[img]http://moltobenny.com/pics/walmart-cheesesteak.jpg[/img]