Which of you bitches and assracks are harshing on God?

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Expand view Topic review: Which of you bitches and assracks are harshing on God?

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sat Sep 13, 2003 3:31 pm

Debaser wrote:So what about Columbus? Well, he was a complete douchebag, and horrible at math.
Welcome to Jolt Country BBS where history's bravest explorers and leaders will be called out as abacus-needing douchebags!

by Debaser » Sat Sep 13, 2003 2:35 pm

I should point out that, after the Greeks figured out the world was round in Classical times, Europe never "forgot" this fact. That anyone of any repute thought the Earth was flat in the Middle Ages is as much a myth as... well, the Earth being flat.

So what about Columbus? Well, he was a complete douchebag, and horrible at math. No one would fund his trip, not because they thought he'd fall off the end of the Earth, but because they thought that the distance around the world (which they had calculated fairly accurately) would be too far for his ships to sail without running out of food and water. And they were right: If the New World hadn't been there, Columbus and company would have all died of dehydration somewhere in the antipodes.

As far as what the Mesopotamians who were largely responsible for the Bible thought about the shape of the Earth... well, I'm not sure.

by AArdvark » Sat Sep 13, 2003 2:18 pm

And that everything circled the earth, Including Orson Wells.



THE
FICTIONAL
AARDVARK

This is going to far, I shall end thee all!!!

by Matedire » Sat Sep 13, 2003 12:14 pm

Ok, so all I have to say about god and his pathetic bible, is how can you believe anything written or "said" by people that though the world was flat?


Points to Josh:Infinity amount.......
Points to Josh for loving ICJ: +69 hehe

I win!!!!

by Jack Straw » Fri Sep 12, 2003 10:22 am

<sniff>

We miss ya, Loafie.

by loafergirl » Fri Sep 12, 2003 8:53 am

If I am wrong I will personally take it upon myself to write another fucking novel because he cannot leave it with Mostly Harmless, I will dig him back up reserect him and kill him again if that is the case.

-LG

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Fri Sep 12, 2003 8:26 am

"Salmon of Doubt" contains an unfinished Dirk Gently story... and a bunch of other stuff of his. That was released well over a year ago.

Hadn't heard that there was a HHGG novel in progress when he passed away. This is good! This is news! This is... well, yeah, good news.

by loafergirl » Fri Sep 12, 2003 8:21 am

Incorrect he died last year while working on another, and his publishers said they were going to clean it up and publish it. Since, I have been waiting patiently....


-LG

by AArdvark » Fri Sep 12, 2003 3:15 am

Doug Adams died last year. 'Mostly Harmless' is to be the last, sadly






THE
BLACK TOWEL
AARDVARK

by loafergirl » Thu Sep 11, 2003 10:11 pm

Well the babelfish proves god's existence, and since god can only exist by faith and the babel fish is a dead give away "Oops" says god, and dissapears in a puff of logic.
(A horribly paraphrased excerpt from THGTTG)

Does anyone know when the last Hitchiker's Guide book is coming out?

-LG

by Roody_Yogurt » Wed Sep 10, 2003 11:53 pm

Hehe, good stuff.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Wed Sep 10, 2003 11:36 pm

BenMustard: How can you possibly believe in a benevolent supreme being?
IceCreamJonsey: How can you not, you fucking fruitcake?
IceCreamJonsey: +3
IceCreamJonsey: We score our own arguments, LETS GO
BenMustard: You can only eat one dish the rest of your life. What is it?
IceCreamJonsey: Key lime pie
IceCreamJonsey: +1
BenMustard: Really?

IceCreamJonsey: After our flag football game on Monday, we went for beers. I got diet coke.
IceCreamJonsey: Anyway, I hadn't eaten all day. The entire menu was in front of me.
BenMustard: No. -8
IceCreamJonsey: What did I pick? Not the chicken, not the pizza, not the burger... but the key lime pie

IceCreamJonsey: It's a good thing I had a twisted knee and sprained ankle or I would have gotten shit for it

IceCreamJonsey: Anyway, it's the same thing with God
BenMustard: Did you get a little candle or umbrella with that?
IceCreamJonsey: When I find myself in complete despair and have all the options in the world to me on what to do or who to blame or how to react...
BenMustard: Yeah? What, you KNOW you're making the wrong decision, but you're just going to do it anyway? (+11)
IceCreamJonsey: I choose to believe in a benevolent God.
IceCreamJonsey: +32 for the previous sentences
IceCreamJonsey: I took your dish thing and turned it into my argument
IceCreamJonsey: +54

BenMustard: You took a valid question and twisted it straight out of the world of logic and reason and squarely into WrongWorld, in the galaxy AndWrongmeda. -1028

IceCreamJonsey: Why don't I now just take your cock and fuck your ideas of there being no creator with it?
IceCreamJonsey: +27

BenMustard: U SUCK AT ROBOTRON -2084
IceCreamJonsey: U SUCK AT PC JR RAM -4096
IceCreamJonsey: I think we're finished here.
IceCreamJonsey: I mean, I think you are.

BenMustard: Goodtimes, though.
IceCreamJonsey: Yeah.
IceCreamJonsey: I liked the Andwrongmeda bit.
BenMustard: I like the Robotron bit.
IceCreamJonsey: Yeah, but both of those bits were yours.

by Worm » Wed Sep 10, 2003 4:04 pm

I would expect God to be so prompt though. So it gets points for accurately portraying how God would post.

by Roody_Yogurt » Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:16 pm

That joke, however still unoriginal, was better in Lurking Horror.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Wed Sep 10, 2003 10:16 am

He's got you there, Nietzsche.

by God » Wed Sep 10, 2003 6:31 am

Nietzsche is dead.

by Nietzsche » Wed Sep 10, 2003 6:31 am

God is dead.

by Precision Comedy Machine » Tue Sep 09, 2003 4:11 pm

Worm wrote:Well, my holy book is the old NES cart Nemo in Dreamland. Not only does Nemo exist and save all our souls ... there was a movie that proves it.
So, would you say you've Found Nemo, then?

by Slim Shady » Tue Sep 09, 2003 4:10 pm

And Almighty God said...

Nothing you idiots, God is dead! He's locked in my basement!

by Vitriola » Tue Sep 09, 2003 8:03 am

With the current Deity, social, economical, and political policies are in direct cohesion with that which has been facilitated.

Score?

+8
-4 because the Eagles lost
+3 for going to the Mo' Money Pawn Shop and almost picking up a copy of Gothic Whore

That brings the total to....7

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