Re: My Morning Commute

by **Debaser** » Thu Aug 05, 2004 6:16 am

Oh, for the record, that was supposed to have something to do with Robb's "green-skinned chick" gag. I think.

by **debaster** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 9:51 pm

Food poisoning is a fucking turn on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by **AArdvark** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 6:10 pm

and then go fuck some girl with green skin.

Hey I'm all for that! I don't have a race issue...

THE
COULD BE STRIPED
FOR ALL I CARE
AARDVARK

by **pinback** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 2:08 pm

He already SAID he was on "medium". He doesn't need any of our help! Why can't you just let the man LIVE, Jonsey?

And I'm really looking forward to seeing one of these "finer moments" you keep talking about.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 2:01 pm

pinback wrote:Yeah, or you could just go around being a DICKHOLE to everyone, and then call your friends in the middle of the afternoon to ask them to call the fucking store to see if they have DOOM 3 in stock because the guy at the store keeps HANGING UP ON YOU because you're such a DICKHOLE.

Yeah, that's not one of my finer moments, actually. But seriously, the selling policy for that game on its release date sucks ass.

Maybe you should try THAT, Debaser.

Perhaps reality is... somewhere in the middle?

We're like Spock and McCoy. Debaser could consider our options, weigh the benefits, analysis the risks... and then go fuck some girl with green skin.

by **pinback** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 1:55 pm

Yeah, or you could just go around being a DICKHOLE to everyone, and then call your friends in the middle of the afternoon to ask them to call the fucking store to see if they have DOOM 3 in stock because the guy at the store keeps HANGING UP ON YOU because you're such a DICKHOLE.

Maybe you should try THAT, Debaser.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 1:12 pm

pinback wrote:RULE #1 FOR MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICES: Christ, never listen to these people.

He's got a point, Debaser. The right thing to do is sit there stroking your whiskers, weighing the pros and cons and advantages and disadvantages of the situation and ultimately deciding to do whatever would darken and more fully flesh out the canary streak running down your back.

Pinner's next piece of advice would likely be for you to not drive at all -- you'd be doing all the other commuters a favor (which they deserve!) if you just rode the bus or didn't work at all.

by **pinback** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 1:07 pm

Debaser wrote:Seriously, read the thread. America is behind me on what I should do when America is behind me.

You're going to listen to these people?

RULE #1 FOR MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICES: Christ, never listen to these people.

by **Debaser** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 12:57 pm

pinback wrote:You don't think that would be terribly boring?

Maybe it would, evenentually; though to be honest I've tended to enjoy doing things the easy way. For now, I'm willing to roll them bones.

Oh, a mind-reader, are you? I'm honored to be in the presence of such omniscience! Tell me, what number am I thinking of right now?

69?

Seriously, read the thread. America is behind me on what I should do when America is behind me.

by **pinback** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 12:31 pm

Debaser wrote:
pinback wrote:Do unto others, and whatnot.
But, see, the way I want to be treated is for everyone to let me walk all over them and thank me for it. You can see how the Golden Rule has never worked for me in application.

You don't think that would be terribly boring?

What fun is a game if your opponent lets you win?

And even if it did, you're still only treating one guy the way he wants to be treated while you're ignoring the wishes of a bunch of folks behind you who, like me, don't want to wait that extra car length because someone's trying to get away with shit.

Oh, a mind-reader, are you? I'm honored to be in the presence of such omniscience! Tell me, what number am I thinking of right now?

by **Debaser** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 12:22 pm

pinback wrote:Do unto others, and whatnot.

But, see, the way I want to be treated is for everyone to let me walk all over them and thank me for it. You can see how the Golden Rule has never worked for me in application.

And even if it did, you're still only treating one guy the way he wants to be treated while you're ignoring the wishes of a bunch of folks behind you who, like me, don't want to wait that extra car length because someone's trying to get away with shit.

I have, actually, "missed" a lane merge before and was actually cockblocked into taking an alternate route home once (admittedly, I could have idled in the exit lane waiting for someone to let me in, but I decdied not to for reasons that are no longer entirely clear to me [maybe because my engine was at the time apt to die if left idling in "drive" for too long]). I mentally said "gg" to the blocker and moved on with my life.

by **pinback** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 11:33 am

Well, I never analyzed the situation before now. I'm pre-set at a very low simmer, so I naturally just let 'em in without a thought.

And remember: You do it sometimes to. At least I do, when I accidentally get into the wrong lane and don't realize it until it's too late. I appreciate other people giving me the benefit of the doubt and letting me in in such a case, so I respond in turn when I'm the one faced with the decision.

Do unto others, and whatnot.

by **Debaser** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 11:30 am

pinback wrote:Yes, but you see, there's nothing you can do about it.

Yes, I can. I can save myself and everyone behind me those three seconds. If there're sixty people behind me, that's three whole minutes of pleasant time I've personally added to the world each time I cockblock. Somewhere in America, some guy is getting home from work just in time to hear his baby son's first words, and, every bit as much as the plastic in his hearing aid, Debaser makes it possible.

Furthermore, I believe it's if not impossible than way to much mental energy to approach every situation with the perfect response designed to provide the best outcome with the minimum of danger and effort. One can only macromanage the security slider on the internet toolbar of life. I figure the chances of me running into a genuine psycho are absolutely minimal, so, set firmly on "Medium" I stand up for myself in an instance where there's extremely little real risk involved.

by **pinback** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 11:19 am

Debaser wrote:
pinback wrote:Letting them in or not does not affect in the slightest how long your total commute will take. "Cockblocking" them will not affect in the slightest their decision to continue doing it in the future. satisfaction (HAH!!) or unpleasantry (Uh oh, he's ramming me from the side and pointing a gun at me), or...
Letting any given one of them in is only going to make a seconds long difference. The fact that a bunch of them are let in every time I get in a traffic jam like this has cumulativelyy added hours if not days of unpleasant

Yes, but you see, there's nothing you can do about it.

God, grant Debaser the serenity to accept the things he cannot change, the courage to change the things he can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

by **Debaser** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 11:09 am

pinback wrote:Letting them in or not does not affect in the slightest how long your total commute will take. "Cockblocking" them will not affect in the slightest their decision to continue doing it in the future. satisfaction (HAH!!) or unpleasantry (Uh oh, he's ramming me from the side and pointing a gun at me), or...

Letting any given one of them in is only going to make a seconds long difference. The fact that a bunch of them are let in every time I get in a traffic jam like this has cumulativelyy added hours if not days of unpleasant "sitting in traffic, being late for wherever" time to a life that is already way too taken up with time spent doing things that don't make me any happier (not to mention the lives of everyone behind me).

I'm not, by nature, an aggressive driver. I'm not someone who's going to tailgate, slam on my breaks to fuck with a tailgater, or "chase down" some guy who cut me off. But for this, I think I'll take my chances.

by **danzaland** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 10:33 am

Basically people have no common courtesy at all. Hell people not only drive like that they WALK like that.
Watch people leaving a sporting event or even at your local mall or grocery store. Stops in mid stride, parking carts in the middle of the aisle etc...

by **pinback** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 10:20 am

Debaser wrote:
Reality Check wrote:The fact is that people will ALWAYS let them in no matter what is right.
You're correct, of course. The only behavior I can change in this is my own. But I'm honestly throwing the question out there in confusion. Why do people let them in? It's not "right". It's not in any way to their benefit. I happily cockblock those people right off the road whenever the opportunity presents itself, so I know it's in no way difficult to do so. So what gives? Are people just intimidated? I know I'm just barely a verterbrate, so how utterly spineless is the rest of the species?

Letting them in or not does not affect in the slightest how long your total commute will take. "Cockblocking" them will not affect in the slightest their decision to continue doing it in the future.

Therefore, you have two choices:

1. Block 'em, piss 'em off, get all adversarial yourself, get all pumped up, and experience a brief moment of either satisfaction (HAH!!) or unpleasantry (Uh oh, he's ramming me from the side and pointing a gun at me), or...

2. Let 'em in, relax, and go about your business.

Obviously, #2 is the correct choice, unless you are an angry, mentally defective lunatic.

by **Debaser** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 9:16 am

bruce wrote:Do you drive an SUV too?

It can be difficult to do so, unless you're either in a very large vehicle (that's me) or you're in a vehicle that clearly says, "I don't give a fuck. Insurance? It is to laugh!"

Ah! Maybe that's it. I drive a 93 Grand Marquis that is:

A. A rather large boat of a car.
B. Pretty solidly covered in dents, dings, and scratches.

So I guess I've got "a little from Column A, a little from Column B" going on for me, there.

by **chris** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 9:08 am

They let 'em in because the "good" drivers don't want their cars dented when these micreants force their way into a lane.

It pisses me off as well. Back when I was driving junky cars and I was in the right lane, I would often pull halfway onto the shoulder so the miscreants couldn't zip ahead of everybody.

My current commute home from work is through the city, and there's a stretch where people park in the right lane in front of some delis (despite the giant NO PARKING signs there). This forces drivers to merge into the left lane to get around them. If a driver in the right lane needs to merge in front of me, I'll let them UNLESS THEY CAME ZIPPING DOWN THE RIGHT LANE AND KNEW FULL WELL THAT THERE WAS A PARKED CAR 1/4 MILE AHEAD OF THEM. If I catch 'em doing that, then they can fuck off.

by **bruce** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 9:03 am

Debaser wrote:I happily cockblock those people right off the road whenever the opportunity presents itself, so I know it's in no way difficult to do so.

Do you drive an SUV too?

It can be difficult to do so, unless you're either in a very large vehicle (that's me) or you're in a vehicle that clearly says, "I don't give a fuck. Insurance? It is to laugh!"

For the latter, I strongly recommend something like a rust-eaten 1978 Caprice Classic, painted in primer, with "BORN TO LOSE" spray-painted in mirror writing across the hood.

Bruce

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