Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I was thinking of making a new IF game with an essentially silent protagonist. But really... it's been done as well as it can be done in HL2. It's a genre-ending performance. It's stupid, of course, for the guy not to speak (I suspect that he'll have one line at the end of HL3; you heard it here first).

Yeah, fuck Valve for pulling this shit. Which no doubt will be revisited in the add-on. Though if you can play past this shit there is a fun game in there. Truthfully it's not like trying to find the good in Daggerfall, or Trespasser. Though it's just suprising that you have to WORK to find the fun in HL2.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:(I suspect that he'll have one line at the end of HL3; you heard it here first).

I hope the line is, "Dude, there's a million fine-looking women in the world. But most of them won't bring you lasagna at work. They'll just cheat on you."

Bruce

I was thinking of making a new IF game with an essentially silent protagonist. But really... it's been done as well as it can be done in HL2. It's a genre-ending performance. It's stupid, of course, for the guy not to speak (I suspect that he'll have one line at the end of HL3; you heard it here first).

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Haha, this dune buggy opening is TERRIBLE. Just incompetently designed. I have to blast it with my gravity gun to right it (never would have thought of that) and then go nowhere near they intended to drop me off (never would have thought of that) past barriers you can't get by (tried that; couldn't get by them, stopped and only went back because of a walkthrough) while an infinite amount of Starship Troopers-ripoff bugs attack me. And the dune buggy constantly falls on its side and there's no health anywhere.

I had one problem with the buggy(heh). It fell through the ground the first time I went to flip it over, I never had a problem with it since then.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:You know what? Fuck this game. Something this poorly designed is a game killer. I don't care about the story, the Internet has told me that nothing gets resolved anyway and I've now got "Water Hazard," one of the dumbest levels I've ever played in part two mode. What next for mission 8? Am I on a snowmobile? Time to bring out the zeppelin? I couldn't care less. Fuck these guys, there's a reason why no shitty snowboarding X-treme Motocross game is in my collection. I honestly no longer care.

Two out of five stars.

I really don't know what your problem is. Much like JQW's problems with Doom 3 you're not really getting to the really meat and bones of dissapointment that HL2 represents.

SPOILRZ

The final boss was the most uninpsired fight I ever have partook in any game. This includes being slammed up against a locker by John Pupa in my Sophmore year of highschool. Though in this case I'm not against a mogoloid twice my height, quite the contrary, I have far too much power. The final boss is a few planned jumps, a few gravity gun shoots at a still target, and a really dissapointing ending. I realized they were going to pull some shit like in the first. I did not think that they would not provide a slightly enjoyable "Escape exploding building/Fanfare" FF6/FF:MQ-esque thing before pulling that shit.

Other bosses were fucking horrible too. That helicopter was a little fun; but, ultimately it had two attacks and only one that was neat. Then there are the big antlions that they abuse to fuck in Nova Prospekt well dually outlining how simple they are to beat.

Too much sniper horseshit. Too many weapons used against me that I couldn't grab and use myself actually. Manhacks, Sniper Rifles, Stunsticks, and the priest's pump action rifle (You can use this with some cheats).

It's 2004, you can give your protaginist a voice. You can still do the man of few words thing without having him a mute. Is he a mute? Like medically speaking? It's amazing how he bites his tongue through being in stasis, not aging for like ten years, and having killed a giant alien monster.

Also, deaths have not been done better in any game since SOFII and no amount of physics engines will fix that. I wish people would just start copying what was possibly the best anatomical representation of death in 3D I've seen in my life.

HL2 game is an example in potential lost. You have to find a way to play past that. Regress, do that weird "back in the womb" exercise, just try to enjoy the motherfucking game.

Haha, this dune buggy opening is TERRIBLE. Just incompetently designed. I have to blast it with my gravity gun to right it (never would have thought of that) and then go nowhere near they intended to drop me off (never would have thought of that) past barriers you can't get by (tried that; couldn't get by them, stopped and only went back because of a walkthrough) while an infinite amount of Starship Troopers-ripoff bugs attack me. And the dune buggy constantly falls on its side and there's no health anywhere.

You know what? Fuck this game. Something this poorly designed is a game killer. I don't care about the story, the Internet has told me that nothing gets resolved anyway and I've now got "Water Hazard," one of the dumbest levels I've ever played in part two mode. What next for mission 8? Am I on a snowmobile? Time to bring out the zeppelin? I couldn't care less. Fuck these guys, there's a reason why no shitty snowboarding X-treme Motocross game is in my collection. I honestly no longer care.

Two out of five stars.

I honestly think much like the majestic Phoenix on a business trip to Jersey caught in a horrible train wreck; I have burnt away all the trainwreck of my review and made it quite a bit better.

I think next I'll do AC: Nexus and Gradius V or something.

I tried a few of the 101 and one levels. Well, two that is. The first one was a garage, which was basically the same level design copy and pasted three times as to truly emulate how unfun parking garages are. Then there was a one that is a little fort in a hole, that one has too few spawn points to support many people so you will constantly get telefragged. You can see through the damn ground in some parts also.

He's winking, winking at you.


Here's Eli Vance giving me some buttons to keep me busy.


Is this real science? It sounds good enough, DURR.


MEOW! Doom 3 didn't have any cat fights.


Halflife 2 is destined for a nude patch. The best one ever.


DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD >_<


Another touch worth mentioning is that everyone is shabby chic.

Worm wrote:he’s not some introspective emotrooper talking about Hall & Oates on the battlefield.

Zing!

Bruce

SHIT

If you don't know me, or have seen too much to care; I've been deepthroating this game like nothing else. Maybe sequel fury blinded me, maybe I'm lying to myself, but it really didn't feel like a rail shooter at all. Shooters that attempt to cover up the rails piss me off, let's all accept the limitations of the technology, the Industry, and the people. You aren't going to see terrain deform, you won't see true A.I., and you won't get true open ended gaming, and companies trying to emulate all the twinkle in your eye bullshit are what are producing shitty games. I never gave a shit about my ostrich's motivation, I didn't care where Vaus came from, or where he was going, and I sure didn't give a shit if my Karate Champ fulfilled his dreams. That is why I liked HL2, it had some honest arcade fun in it; something the world forgot, and something the world doesn't have the fucking reflexes for anymore.

I always liked Freeman as a character. He’s not this cliché action hero “Give me a weapon” Master Chief, and he’s not some introspective emotrooper talking about Hall & Oates on the battlefield. He is just an empty canvas; the kind of character more games could use. He isn’t saving the world. He’s probably fucking it up more. He’s a tool. He’s the coolest tool ever.

The other characters have satisfying interactions and dialogue. The faces look great. The dialogue was "action packed" enough to make anyone but the most methed out Quaker enjoy them. The facial reactions, a wink here, buttons to press(Dr. Vance actually points one out, just so you don't get bored), bulletin boards littered with headlines, and just a real rich enviroment with a conversation going on in it.

I want the painfully obvious bosses back; complete with the glowing red weak spot. I had fun dropping the striders, and gunships; but, I had more fun fighting the big ball sack crab in Halflife 1. This is a big point with me. I hope that the token add-ons feature some sort of boss characters; even if it is a huge combine solder throwing barrels at me.

I loved the game, though those fuckers at Valve can do so much better. I believe the modding community is what is going to make the game a real blast. It's like a version of Codewarrior that comes with a pretty decent premade game. That's why I love Halflife, it doesn't stand for company games. It stands for random douchebags’ games. I'd really like for some of the people here to try something with the SDK. I’d like to see ICJ’s A Crimson Spring in source. I’d love to see Creexul’s fairy mod. I think the major fault in the way everyone is gauging this game is that they are not right not rating the SDK and trying to make their own game; I mean, Troika did it. Hell, I am even; the game uses C++, my clases are coming in handy.

As for HL2DM, with two levels (there is a pack of 52 up on the steam forums now, that I'll try tonight) it feels like the Quake 3 Arena demo (or was that a beta?). Though the gravity gun is fun enough to counter most problems. The weapons really aren’t multiplay balanced, which is refreshing. I would rather not get immediately killed from looking at another guy who has a Magnum; but it's fun, and it's a death match -- you're supposed to die. Both of the maps really cannot suit over 8-10 players very well; any server with 14 people will be hectic. All it needs are a few more maps, few more models, half damage .357, and some saw blades to launch around.


EDIT: This is going here; because FAWK CALTROPS. They have all the content they need, and don't even give a shit about it. They've got some great kids in their play pen all with hall of fame plaques down at brawl hall and shit. Us? We've got a fucking clown, a depressed guy, and a fucking EURO.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:

Worm wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Using the gravity gun and the machine shop saw blades, I just chopped one of those jumping zombies in mid-air. That is the best thing anyone has ever done with computers since the first one was invented.

Sadly Valve only coded that for zombies, so don't expect to see them ever again.

Is this you making a joke? Because the Soviet guy (who I didn't trust initially because he was a trapster and Russian -- two things that normally spell disaster) brought me to a graveyard where there were some more saw blades, and I cut through an enormous number of regular zombies with it. At one point the Russian gave me "cover" while I went into the mess of zombies, got my blade back, ran a good distance away and threw it at them again.

Seriously, out of Ravenholm you aren't expressly surrounded by zombies. So you'll never see a sawblade again; because, all it probably would do is bludgeon anyone it isn't coded to cut; like it does the headcrab. I'm trying to make a Multiplayer level that is remniscent of that one lightgun game with the people being tortured and stuff; so, I'm planning on testing this when I get home.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:The saw blade in HL2 is the FINEST weapon ever made, and the fact that you have to go get it once you throw it makes it even more special.

Yeah, they definitely should do AVP3 in this engine, just without the multiplayer "alien growth" horseshit. Has anyone played AVP2 Multiplayer? I played through some of single player on an "econo" copy and got too dissapointed by the Alien bossfight; though, the one predator netting his friend is possibly the best moment in gaming I've had. Even if it ended with the other jumping down and kicking my ass.

Worm wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Using the gravity gun and the machine shop saw blades, I just chopped one of those jumping zombies in mid-air. That is the best thing anyone has ever done with computers since the first one was invented.

Sadly Valve only coded that for zombies, so don't expect to see them ever again.

Is this you making a joke? Because the Soviet guy (who I didn't trust initially because he was a trapster and Russian -- two things that normally spell disaster) brought me to a graveyard where there were some more saw blades, and I cut through an enormous number of regular zombies with it. At one point the Russian gave me "cover" while I went into the mess of zombies, got my blade back, ran a good distance away and threw it at them again.

The saw blade in HL2 is the FINEST weapon ever made, and the fact that you have to go get it once you throw it makes it even more special.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Using the gravity gun and the machine shop saw blades, I just chopped one of those jumping zombies in mid-air. That is the best thing anyone has ever done with computers since the first one was invented.

Sadly Valve only coded that for zombies, so don't expect to see them ever again.

Using the gravity gun and the machine shop saw blades, I just chopped one of those jumping zombies in mid-air. That is the best thing anyone has ever done with computers since the first one was invented.

Another nice touch was the room right before it. A bunch of head crabs were upstairs. I sent a machine saw up in there to try to kill one of them. After I sniped away the headcrabs from below, I went up into the room to look for my sawblade -- the one that I ultimate chopped a zombie in two with. I looked all around and couldn't find it... then looked up. It was embedded in the ceiling.

THIS is what people were talking about when they said how good it was.

If you get this game, keep playing it until you get to Ravenholm at least. It's fucking awesome.

A HAPPY ENDING?

Well, I got a hold of the gravity gun. Finally.

I don't think you get as much fun out of this game if you play it an hour a night like I was doing. I see why Valve wanted reviewers to come to their offices to play it straight through. Aside from the lack of the laughable start times, you're never really doing anything through the first four chapters to get TRULY pissed off if you're not stopping for anything longer than a bathroom break.

I'm in Ravenholm.

There are only zombies, spiders and head crabs and yet this feels fresh because the guys at Valve put together an environment (a creepy city) that is going to allow them to do whatever the hell they want and chalk it up to some crazy Russian guy putting traps for zombies. There are two cars that I can deploy to crush zombies with. Setup as all hell ... but man. Satisfying.

Additionally, Valve is able to match Doom 3's creep factor without completely turning the lights off. These guys are good. In fact -- I knew that with Doom 3 I'd see a bunch of "Hell on Earth" stuff and their little Spook House simulator would ultimately be bounded by the lack of creativity that id employs. They're an engine company. I saw disturbing stuff in Doom 3, but nothing that was going to really affect me years from now. And when the term "monster closet" got termed -- well, sometimes words can help us control our environments and it just didn't seem the same after that.

Gabe Valve WOULD employ people talented enough to scare the living shit out of us, however. I played the majority of HL1 with the lights off and it really was terrifying at times. This thing, with all the new tech they have... well, I shudder with anticipation. I SHUDDER!!!

(Best of all, there hasn't been any cheap shit, either. Nobody taking pot shots at me while I'm climbing a ladder... nobody immediately swarming into the room the minute I grab some health. I don't mean to rag on Doom 3 -- I was entertained -- but Half-Life 2 seems decidedly less juvenile. That's a good thing.)

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:

Worm wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I'm stuck on "Water Hazard." There is a helicopter -- that I can't damage! -- shooting at me. And I've killed everyone in the warehouse by the water. No place further to go. Remember that level "On a Rail"? This piece of shit is completely on rails, worse than Doom 3.

Christ, I don't even get why people sob about shit being on rails. The best we can get is a track switch, but open ended is a fucking lie. You're in a warehouse with a helicopter shooting at you, you have absolutely no anti-air weaponry, I'm sorry that you can't create a flash bang out of some kids chemistry set MacGuyver.

You know what I meant. Yes, games are on rails -- but this game makes me FEEL like I'm on a rail. That's the part I object to.

As it turns out, I had not need a ladder that I needed to see and it led to some anti-aircraft weaponry. There were two fags sitting up in that guard tower bored as a hill on an ox, too -- which is stupid. Have them chuck a grenade at me or something.

Also, I don't even get what you were doing here, I couldn't drop copters until my hover craft got a new gun, so I was running from them.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:HL2 got fun again when I took out the helicopter. It then became a rail shooter. Don't get me wrong, I was KICKING ASS with my jet ski and having a blast, but come on. (I quit for the night only because three of those rocket launching tanks got me.)

Maybe sequel fury blinded me, maybe I'm lying to myself, but it really didn't feel like a rail shooter. Shooters that attempt to cover up the rails piss me off, let's all accept the limitations of the technology, the Industry, and the people. Let's get real motherfucker. You aren't going to see terrain deform, you won't see true A.I., and you won't get true open ended gaming, and companies trying to emulate all the twinkle in your eye bullshit are what is producing shitty games. I never gave a shit about my Ostrich's motivation, I didn't care where Vaus came from, or where he was going, and I sure didn't give a shit if my Karate Champ fufilled his dreams. That is why I liked HL2, it had some honest arcade fun in it, something the world forgot, and something the world doesn't have the fucking reflexes for.

I loved the thing, though those fuckers at Valve can do so much better. Really I believe the modding community is what is going to make the game a real blast. It's almost like a version of Codewarrior that comes with a pretty decent premade game, and that's why I love Halflife, it doesn't stand for company games, it stands for maggot who lives in his mothers basement games. I'd really like for you to try something with the SDK, because the game is just an engine.

12/10, given the current limitations of people, technology, and industry.

Worm wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Sorry, man, but Half-Life 2 sucks. I can't believe people thought it was better than Doom 3.

PSH, I dare you to utter this shit on Caltrops.

Let's focus on the game at hand, shall we, Worm?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I'm stuck on "Water Hazard." There is a helicopter -- that I can't damage! -- shooting at me. And I've killed everyone in the warehouse by the water. No place further to go. Remember that level "On a Rail"? This piece of shit is completely on rails, worse than Doom 3.

Christ, I don't even get why people sob about shit being on rails. The best we can get is a track switch, but open ended is a fucking lie. You're in a warehouse with a helicopter shooting at you, you have absolutely no anti-air weaponry, I'm sorry that you can't create a flash bang out of some kids chemistry set MacGuyver.[/quote]

You know what I meant. Yes, games are on rails -- but this game makes me FEEL like I'm on a rail. That's the part I object to.

As it turns out, I had not need a ladder that I needed to see and it led to some anti-aircraft weaponry. There were two fags sitting up in that guard tower bored as a hill on an ox, too -- which is stupid. Have them chuck a grenade at me or something.

Look, fuck you. I can't believe this shit is coming from a fellow Daggerfall fan, what the fuck happened to you? Somewhere along the line you became to interested with life, girls(eww gross >_<), and all that other shit. That's your problem.

At least when the quests were broken in Daggerfall there were another billion available! If it weren't for the fact that all Daggerfall games require you to bust out of that stupid dungeon to start, it'd be the best game ever. Whenever you were sick of your life or had created a seemingly all-encompasingly poor reputation amongst everyone, everywhere you just went to a new town. It was like "Ben Parrish: The Game."

Daggerfall's about a billion times better than HL2 so far.

Dude, do you even like games anymore? Remember when we could accept the install and game as seperate entities, do you remember those times, Robb?

I will grant you that it's possible I don't like games any more.

You're stuck in a game that is on rails? What are you fucking retarded?

Ah-hahaha! See, this is why we cultvated you all these years. That is possibly the best line you've ever written. I tip my hat to that one.

HL2 got fun again when I took out the helicopter. It then became a rail shooter. Don't get me wrong, I was KICKING ASS with my jet ski and having a blast, but come on. (I quit for the night only because three of those rocket launching tanks got me.)

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Sorry, man, but Half-Life 2 sucks. I can't believe people thought it was better than Doom 3.

PSH, I dare you to utter this shit on Caltrops.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I'm stuck on "Water Hazard." There is a helicopter -- that I can't damage! -- shooting at me. And I've killed everyone in the warehouse by the water. No place further to go. Remember that level "On a Rail"? This piece of shit is completely on rails, worse than Doom 3.

Christ, I don't even get why people sob about shit being on rails. The best we can get is a track switch, but open ended is a fucking lie. You're in a warehouse with a helicopter shooting at you, you have absolutely no anti-air weaponry, I'm sorry that you can't create a flash bang out of some kids chemistry set MacGuyver.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I wouldn't DREAM of playing further except that literally everyone I know who has played it can't stop slobbing its grob. No idea what they're seeing in this overblown sack of garbage. THIS is the most expensive PC game of all time?

Look, fuck you. I can't believe this shit is coming from a fellow Daggerfall fan, what the fuck happened to you? Somewhere along the line you became to interested with life, girls(eww gross >_<), and all that other shit. That's your problem.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I mean, it had to do a lot of things to get me to forgive the install. It hasn't done anything interesting yet.

Dude, do you even like games anymore? Remember when we could accept the install and game as seperate entities, do you remember those times, Robb?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:What a piece of crap.

So, I'm stuck and have to find a walkthrough. It takes 15 minutes, combined, to exit the game and enter it again. Thanks maggots.

You're stuck in a game that is on rails? What are you fucking retarded?

Sorry, man, but Half-Life 2 sucks. I can't believe people thought it was better than Doom 3.

I'm stuck on "Water Hazard." There is a helicopter -- that I can't damage! -- shooting at me. And I've killed everyone in the warehouse by the water. No place further to go. Remember that level "On a Rail"? This piece of shit is completely on rails, worse than Doom 3.

I wouldn't DREAM of playing further except that literally everyone I know who has played it can't stop slobbing its grob. No idea what they're seeing in this overblown sack of garbage. THIS is the most expensive PC game of all time?

I mean, it had to do a lot of things to get me to forgive the install. It hasn't done anything interesting yet.

What a piece of crap.

So, I'm stuck and have to find a walkthrough. It takes 15 minutes, combined, to exit the game and enter it again. Thanks maggots.