by pinback » Tue Jan 04, 2005 10:09 pm
That Worm, he's a real jackass. There's no denying that.
BUT, he did manage to do one worthwhile thing in his miserable life and hook me up with the following article!
(pretend there's a link to GameTunnel's top 10 shareware games of 2004)
Now let's look at the ones I've taken a look at tonight, and see what I thought about 'em, and, you know, just kinda chat about Shareware Games and stuff, or whatever.
GAME NAME: Amino!!! (Or something!! I forget.)
URL:
http://www.aninoentertainment.com/produ ... /index.php
TYPE: RPG/Adventure!
My Experience: Hey! I had a sudden inspiration to play an RPG yesterday -- a
shareware one -- and slowly came to the realization that they all suck! But this one... this one didn't seem to suck. Had pretty damn slick graphics, a helpful tutorial, and allowed me to go around picking up items and talking to various characters before getting killed by those four guys up there in the woods! This 30-minute adventure sated my need to play an RPG, and thus I won't be going back to it too soon, but it's nice to know it's there!
My Rating: Three and a Half Stars!
---
GAME NAME: Hampster Ball
URL:
http://www.gametunnel.com/demos/hamster ... dsetup.exe
TYPE: Marble Madness for the New Millennium
My Experience: Welp. It's pretty much Marble Madness, souped up with lots of new goodies and clever whatchamajiggies. Marble Madness. I don't think anyone worth their weight in sticky crap from old arcades lining the bottom of their shoes will forget the first time they played Marble Madness. What a magical experience! The greatest game ever! And... well, you know how some games like Asteroids are the best games ever when you first see them, continue to be so well into the 21st century, whereas some of there are really cool at first, and then twenty years later you think, "Hmm... weeeell." MM, I'm afraid, is an example of the latter. Still, if you like MM, and want a modern version of it, probably can't do better than this.
My Rating: Two and a Half Stars (Or "One Necrotic Drift")
GAME NAME: I OF THE ENEMEY!!!!! (Exclamation marks and mispelling added)
URL:
http://www.enemytechnology.com
TYPE: RTS
My Experience: Hey, as shareware RTS's go, this one is pretty damn slick! Sporting Starcraft-level technology, it's not gonna make anyone forget C&C:Generals or anything, but appears to be a solid sci-fi RTS with non-horrendous voice-acting, clear, crisp graphics, and very poor pathfinding! This is, up until the part where it blows up seven minutes into the game and dumps to desktop. And this is, up to the time where you start writing emails to their support email addresses, and notice that anything sent to "
anything@enemytechnology.com" immediately bounces back with a server error. So, yeah. I'd like to like this, but I'm afraid I can't, because it appears that the program's stability, along with its authoring company, do not exist.
My Rating: Three and a Half Stars, if it worked, and if the company existed. Zero Stars, since it doesn't, and it doesn't.
GAME NAME: Kiloki Outpost
URL:
http://ninjabee.com
TYPE: Space Tycoon
My Experience: It gives you 60 minutes to play around with in the demo version. I played it exactly 26 minutes before quitting the game, going to the website, and buying it. All of the tycoon games boiled down into one quick, relatively simple, but totally engrossing, cute, funny, slick, and fantastic toy. Possibly the greatest thing in history. Go play the demo for 20 minutes, and if you don't agree, I'll give you your money ($0.00, as of this writing) back. Fan. Fucking. Tastic.
My Rating: A+++++++++ and a million stars.
This has been
PINBACK REVIEWZ THE WHATEVER IT IS WHICH I AM REVIEWINGThat Worm, he's a real jackass. There's no denying that. [i]BUT[/i], he did manage to do one worthwhile thing in his miserable life and hook me up with the following article!
(pretend there's a link to GameTunnel's top 10 shareware games of 2004)
Now let's look at the ones I've taken a look at tonight, and see what I thought about 'em, and, you know, just kinda chat about Shareware Games and stuff, or whatever.
GAME NAME: Amino!!! (Or something!! I forget.)
URL: http://www.aninoentertainment.com/products/anito/index.php
TYPE: RPG/Adventure!
My Experience: Hey! I had a sudden inspiration to play an RPG yesterday -- a [i]shareware[/i] one -- and slowly came to the realization that they all suck! But this one... this one didn't seem to suck. Had pretty damn slick graphics, a helpful tutorial, and allowed me to go around picking up items and talking to various characters before getting killed by those four guys up there in the woods! This 30-minute adventure sated my need to play an RPG, and thus I won't be going back to it too soon, but it's nice to know it's there!
My Rating: Three and a Half Stars!
---
GAME NAME: Hampster Ball
URL: http://www.gametunnel.com/demos/hamsterballgoldsetup.exe
TYPE: Marble Madness for the New Millennium
My Experience: Welp. It's pretty much Marble Madness, souped up with lots of new goodies and clever whatchamajiggies. Marble Madness. I don't think anyone worth their weight in sticky crap from old arcades lining the bottom of their shoes will forget the first time they played Marble Madness. What a magical experience! The greatest game ever! And... well, you know how some games like Asteroids are the best games ever when you first see them, continue to be so well into the 21st century, whereas some of there are really cool at first, and then twenty years later you think, "Hmm... weeeell." MM, I'm afraid, is an example of the latter. Still, if you like MM, and want a modern version of it, probably can't do better than this.
My Rating: Two and a Half Stars (Or "One Necrotic Drift")
GAME NAME: I OF THE ENEMEY!!!!! (Exclamation marks and mispelling added)
URL: http://www.enemytechnology.com
TYPE: RTS
My Experience: Hey, as shareware RTS's go, this one is pretty damn slick! Sporting Starcraft-level technology, it's not gonna make anyone forget C&C:Generals or anything, but appears to be a solid sci-fi RTS with non-horrendous voice-acting, clear, crisp graphics, and very poor pathfinding! This is, up until the part where it blows up seven minutes into the game and dumps to desktop. And this is, up to the time where you start writing emails to their support email addresses, and notice that anything sent to "anything@enemytechnology.com" immediately bounces back with a server error. So, yeah. I'd like to like this, but I'm afraid I can't, because it appears that the program's stability, along with its authoring company, do not exist.
My Rating: Three and a Half Stars, if it worked, and if the company existed. Zero Stars, since it doesn't, and it doesn't.
GAME NAME: Kiloki Outpost
URL: http://ninjabee.com
TYPE: Space Tycoon
My Experience: It gives you 60 minutes to play around with in the demo version. I played it exactly 26 minutes before quitting the game, going to the website, and buying it. All of the tycoon games boiled down into one quick, relatively simple, but totally engrossing, cute, funny, slick, and fantastic toy. Possibly the greatest thing in history. Go play the demo for 20 minutes, and if you don't agree, I'll give you your money ($0.00, as of this writing) back. Fan. Fucking. Tastic.
My Rating: A+++++++++ and a million stars.
This has been [i]PINBACK REVIEWZ THE WHATEVER IT IS WHICH I AM REVIEWING[/i]