Fortune Cookie Malice

by **pinback** » Thu May 19, 2005 5:05 pm

bruce wrote:I will find a COCKSUCKING HORSE HEAD in my Pho the next time I go to a Vietnamese restaurant.

Ah, the number 14!

(BTW: What is "bible tripe", anyway? The entrails of Jesus? Cuz if so, Mmmm-MM! That's good Jesus!)

by **chris** » Thu May 19, 2005 4:27 pm

Did anybody hear of the lottery (I think it was a state lottery or Powerball or something) that had 110 2nd place winners? The number was unusually high, so they decided to investigate why (figuring it was criminal mischief of some sort).

Turned out that some Chinese food place had given out fortune cookies that said "Your lucky numbers are <something>", and the numbers ended up being the winning lottery numbers a few days later. 110 people had received these fortune cookies, played the numbers, and won about $100,000 each.

by **bruce** » Thu May 19, 2005 4:02 pm

And today's is You will get an offer that will be hard to turn down.

Yes,now a FUCKING FORTUNE COOKIE is MAKING ME AN OFFER I CAN'T REFUSE. I am being EXTORTED by an INANIMATE ALMOND COOKIE. I got the GODDAMN MOBSTER fortune cookie. I will find a COCKSUCKING HORSE HEAD in my Pho the next time I go to a Vietnamese restaurant.

Fuck this Asian food. Mexican food might give me gas but at least it doesn't give me thinly-veiled THREATS.

Bruce

by **pinback** » Thu May 19, 2005 8:35 am

What a bunch of horseshit.

You know, here's another X-TREME way of getting projects done! Assign them to people, get deadlines for it, and then if they don't do it, fire their ass and get someone else! Isn't that X-TREME!?!!

My God, it could revolutionize the entire industry.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu May 19, 2005 8:33 am

You get to "bid" on projects!

by **pinback** » Thu May 19, 2005 5:39 am

Like what?

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed May 18, 2005 10:01 pm

pinback wrote:Wait.

Wait.

Jonsey, do they really encourage (or impose?!) "X-Treme Programming" where you work?

Do they REALLY??

Yes. Well, we are building to that. It's not going on right now because the tech lead is so much better at Java than the rest of us. He can only teach things. In the sessions I've sat down with him I can only mention typos or say things like, "Try Find->in Files."

But to be fair, Eclipse does a lot of checking for you.

But there is more to extreme programming than two people sitting down and one person typing shit up.

by **pinback** » Wed May 18, 2005 8:53 pm

Wait.

Wait.

Jonsey, do they really encourage (or impose?!) "X-Treme Programming" where you work?

Do they REALLY??

by **AArdvark** » Wed May 18, 2005 7:05 pm

What is your take on "extreme programming"?

You mean doing a job in three hours that had a working schedule of three weeks?

that's called milking the quote.

THE
MUST BE A GOVERNMENT
POSITION
AARDVARK

by **Vitriola** » Wed May 18, 2005 4:03 am

Trillian has one thing to do: SEND MESSAGES. An important sub-duty is to RECEIVE MESSAGES. I think we can safely say that I'll be booting up AIM, ICQ and Yahoo! separately again in the future.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue May 17, 2005 9:39 pm

pinback wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:those little "HOORAY BEER" squashed can beers
What is this a reference to?

The TV ads on last night during that one fuck's career ending performance where a Jamaican guy sells beer in little squashed-down bottles and ends his commercial with "HOORAY BEER!"

by **pinback** » Tue May 17, 2005 9:30 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:those little "HOORAY BEER" squashed can beers

What is this a reference to?

by **pinback** » Tue May 17, 2005 9:29 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: We already know you're a genius at Java. What is your take on "extreme programming"?

If memory serves, this involves being within 20 feet of other human beings, right?

Well. I mean. Do we even need to discuss this?

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue May 17, 2005 8:42 pm

I mean think about it! Lunch EVERY DAY! You wouldn't have to get drunk at the back bars on those little "HOORAY BEER" squashed can beers, but if you wanted to you could do it with your pal Jonsey. And the Milker.

I've checked work for weasels and can't find any.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue May 17, 2005 8:41 pm

pinback wrote:or moving back to Colorado

We can make it work this time, baby. I GUARANTEE I can get you into where I work.

We already know you're a genius at Java. What is your take on "extreme programming"?

by **Worm** » Tue May 17, 2005 8:27 pm

Hey, Trillian is a fine program. It's even stopped crashing!

by **pinback** » Tue May 17, 2005 7:49 pm

Well, that ain't such a good program, then, is it?

VX, I have tried to message you four separate times in the last two months, and apparently you have received none of them.

Short of picking up a telephone or emailing you or writing you a letter and dropping it in a mailbox or delivering a message through Robb or moving back to Colorado, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to contact you, given these restrictions.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue May 17, 2005 7:34 pm

pinback wrote:
Vitriola wrote:Oh, and, anything you want to talk about?
YES, but you never reply to my AIMs.

Why do you never reply to my AIMs, VitriolaX?

R U M4D @ M3?????!!!!! :( :( =( =(

She's on the latest version of Trillian. I'll bet she doesn't even get them.

by **pinback** » Tue May 17, 2005 6:20 pm

Vitriola wrote:Oh, and, anything you want to talk about?

YES, but you never reply to my AIMs.

Why do you never reply to my AIMs, VitriolaX?

R U M4D @ M3?????!!!!! :( :( =( =(

by **Roody_Yogurt** » Tue May 17, 2005 5:14 pm

My last one said team work is good or something shitty like that. It's like, whatever, beyatch, I'll write my OWN DAMN FORTUNE COOKIES!!

Fortune Cookie Malice

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Re: Another fucking fortune cookie

Another fucking fortune cookie