A New Love

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 4:34 pm

Hey mouth-breathing Charlie, I thought that you cross-eyed, webfooted, fetal alcohol types rallied around letter number five being the cutoff for the Five Dollar Word. Is the recession that you would have voted for if you were not in jail deflating the cost of goods in the Hidden Appalachia? DANCE FOR ME SAD CLOWN.

by **Knuckles the CLown** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 3:19 pm

"Ape" his name. Who are you, the New York Times crossword puzzle? That is the only time the word ape is used to mean -immitate- a crossword clue.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:20 am

Yes, I would actively prefer a little comedy with the posts attacking food. Say what you will about the Clown, for instance, but he always gives you a little something with his commentary.

Why can't you all be like him? (NOTE: I'm not saying ape his name.)

by **pinback** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 8:31 am

AArdvark wrote:As long as the ribbing is FUNNY it's OK.

Exactly. And nobody in this thread, or any of the other "BOOO" threads lately, particularly bruce, and particularly you, have been the least bit funny, except for ICJ's "miscellaneous post" up the page a bit.

If the burger had become sentient and started arguing with me before jumping down the garbage disposal in an attempt to end its own life, that's funny.

THESE:

"I hope it tastes better than it looks."
"It looks like you SAT on it."
"I can see why you compared it to getting into your girlfriends panties."
"It looks undercooked."
"I can feel my arteries clogging just looking at that."

are NOT FUNNY. Can you tell the difference? This is the true tragedy of this BBS, that not only is stuff of this poor quality allowed on here (which I can't imagine would have been the case in 2002), but now is seemingly actively encouraged by the mushy-tushy sysop who just likes seeing all of his old, boring, unfunny friends hanging out on his goddamn BBS.

Jesus CHRIST.

by **AArdvark** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 7:53 am

Here's my impression of the Jolt Country BBS:

Anybody: "Anything!"

Everybody else: "BOOOOOOO!!!!"

As long as the ribbing is FUNNY it's OK. I sure wouldn't post about a burger I ate on a BBS (with pictures) So it's assumable that you WANT us to jump all over your life.

THE
PRIVATIZED
AARDVARK

by **Knuckles the CLown** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 4:45 pm

This is what I see

by **Knuckles the CLown** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 4:41 pm

I will admit if you ever post anything remotley edible.
Everything you eat (create to to eat) is fucking disgusting. You make foods that bother me as a person who eats, and the foods like burritos and Pizzas which I like, you hippie up like sticking spinach or eels on them. If you want a goddamned pizza, put pepparoni on it. If you want a hippie meal go eat a can (ERR GROW IN YOUR GARDEN!!!) spinach, but for the pizza's sake- LEAVE THE POOR THING ALONE! I would rather you post pictures of your stool afterwards than the pre-consumed version. The stool doesn't lie, and everyone of those foods probably come out the brown eye like canned pumpkin.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 4:01 pm

I at least try to GIVE something when I am casually insulting all the available content.

The burger looks delicious -- I won't lie. I just hope it's good with its dukes is all.

by **pinback** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:55 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Miscellaneous post attacking Pinback and/or Pinback's food.

Here's my impression of the Jolt Country BBS:

Anybody: "Anything!"

Everybody else: "BOOOOOOO!!!!"

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:46 pm

Miscellaneous post attacking Pinback and/or Pinback's food.

by **nessman** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:11 pm

I can feel my arteries clogging just looking at that.

by **AArdvark** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 1:57 pm

I can see why you compared it to getting into your girlfriends panties

THE
HEH HEHE HEH
AARDVARK

by **chris** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 1:56 pm

It looks undercooked. NOT a fan of food poisoning.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 11:55 am

Did that burger get in a fight on the way home?

by **bruce** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:58 am

How about one that doesn't look like you SAT on it before eating it?

Bruce

by **pinback** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:57 am

What are you talking about, Cancer Boy? I've never seen a more perfect vision of an all-American greaseball cheeseburger.

by **bruce** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:55 am

I hope it tastes better than it looks.

Bruce

by **pinback** » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:46 am

FIVE GUYS PHOTO SHOOT #1
MODEL: Cheeseburger, fried onions, pickles, mustard, mayo.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Jun 02, 2005 12:40 pm

Here's my "Food Take" for the day.

1) Ben, you made some terrific points regarding keeping bones in Mussamun curry. That being said, they were so stupid I am going to ban you. The answer I was looking for was that they were MORONS for giving me chicken wings in a plate of (otherwise delicious) curry and I'd like someone to check their green cards.

2) Pizza in Colorado blows compared to what I grew up on, but I seemingly found two great places in 24 hours. Dayna brought home the best fucking pie I've ever had out here from the city where she works. She doesn't know this, but I had been secretly creating traffic disasters along her commute to Greeley so that she'd leave her job so we could selfishly be closer to mine. The torn-up section of Route 85? Me. The broken-off railings as you enter town? I did that. The rabid leopard chained to her desk on Tuesday? SMELLS LIKE JONES. Well, the pizza she got changed everything.

The second one was given to us at work yesterday. I had one piece and it was the kind of NYC pizza that Nessman writes about. But would it hold up on a second visit????

No, it didn't. I had a piece for lunch and while it was still thin pizza it tasted like it was under a heat lamp for four hours before I got there, which is odd because I saw the kid working there put it in the oven. The next pizza I have will probably be your recipe, Pinner, so don't let me fuck it up or else it's over. You hear me? OVER.

by **pinback** » Thu Jun 02, 2005 11:31 am

Nobody cares about this because nobody lives in range of one of these places, but I should tell you that today, I went back to (a different) Five Guys location, for my second go-round, just to make sure I wasn't being overly enthusiastic the first time, because of the reputation.

Today's choice: Cheeseburger with fried onions, relish, and mustard.

I hate with a passion people. Who. Do. This. But:

Oh. My. God.

It was a truly astounding, otherworldly experience. Without question, the finest burger I have ever eaten.

I only wish I wasn't so horrifically depressed, sitting alone in my car, while I ate it. The tickertape of my thoughts went something like:

godifuckingsuckworthlessnogoodlosercantevengetthe gutstokillyourselfyoufuckiHOLY SHIT!! WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLY DELICIOUS BURGER!!!! miserabledumbsonofabitchwhatsthepointingoingongod whyme

A New Love

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