by pinback » Fri Mar 30, 2007 6:10 pm
Reactor 09 is the very first AGS game I have played. I chose it because it was near the top of the "Best 20 Adventure Games of 2006" I saw somewhere.
Right up front, it seems obvious to me that you text adventure authors are a bunch of lazy, sausage sucking buttloafs. You're all "Uh, you're in a big room and there's a chair up in here." These people have to DRAW things. These people require ARTISTIC ABILITY, unlike you (buttloafs). And they have to draw everything IN the rooms, and every action you can DO to the rooms. So it's like, they create an entire IF game, and where you would say "welp, done! Turn it in! Wait for the bitches to roll in!" they have just
started, because then they need to actually CREATE everything they had in mind, instead of just checking the thesaurus for another word for "dank". Therefore you suck, and AGS people rule.
Anyhow, I got immersed in the game, I'll admit that. And as far as it goes, it's pretty damn good. I mean, it's a standard, find this in this room, go use it on that in that room, door opens, wash, rinse, repeat, but that's pretty much the definition of a good ol' adventure game. You are a guy in prison who designed a reactor which is gonna explode, so you have to fix the reactor under the watchful eye of the guard who is in charge of keeping you inmates in line.
That's fine.
What it needed was more of this.
What it didn't need was this ("subtle" - internet review of the game... HAHAHAHAHA) undercurrent of unbelievable FAGGERY which permeates the whole game. Why the author thought it was a good idea to chew up a stick of GAY GUM and then use it to affix a tangential GAY-ASS story about the GAY guard and his possible GAY feelings for the GAY that you GAY to the game is beyond me. Well, it's not beyond me. It's just a horrible idea. And also GAY.
Apparently there are multiple endings (HAHAHAHA GAY) and I did not reach the very GAYEST one, but that was enough GAY for me.
If you think I'm exaggerating, find a screenshot of the scene where you are carrying the guard on your back, piggy-back style, with a plastic bag over your heads. I swear this happens. maggots.
The puzzle aspect of the game will take you a couple hours to complete. The GAY aspect of the game will haunt you for the rest of your GAYS.
SUMMARY
1. You are a buttloaf.
2. Reactor 09 is half a good game, and an impressive example of an AGS game crafted by a talented, independent author.
3. FAAAAG!!!
[url=http://new.bigbluecup.com/games.php?action=detail&id=819]Reactor 09[/url] is the very first AGS game I have played. I chose it because it was near the top of the "Best 20 Adventure Games of 2006" I saw somewhere.
Right up front, it seems obvious to me that you text adventure authors are a bunch of lazy, sausage sucking buttloafs. You're all "Uh, you're in a big room and there's a chair up in here." These people have to DRAW things. These people require ARTISTIC ABILITY, unlike you (buttloafs). And they have to draw everything IN the rooms, and every action you can DO to the rooms. So it's like, they create an entire IF game, and where you would say "welp, done! Turn it in! Wait for the bitches to roll in!" they have just [i]started[/i], because then they need to actually CREATE everything they had in mind, instead of just checking the thesaurus for another word for "dank". Therefore you suck, and AGS people rule.
Anyhow, I got immersed in the game, I'll admit that. And as far as it goes, it's pretty damn good. I mean, it's a standard, find this in this room, go use it on that in that room, door opens, wash, rinse, repeat, but that's pretty much the definition of a good ol' adventure game. You are a guy in prison who designed a reactor which is gonna explode, so you have to fix the reactor under the watchful eye of the guard who is in charge of keeping you inmates in line.
That's fine.
What it needed was more of this.
What it didn't need was this ("subtle" - internet review of the game... HAHAHAHAHA) undercurrent of unbelievable FAGGERY which permeates the whole game. Why the author thought it was a good idea to chew up a stick of GAY GUM and then use it to affix a tangential GAY-ASS story about the GAY guard and his possible GAY feelings for the GAY that you GAY to the game is beyond me. Well, it's not beyond me. It's just a horrible idea. And also GAY.
Apparently there are multiple endings (HAHAHAHA GAY) and I did not reach the very GAYEST one, but that was enough GAY for me.
If you think I'm exaggerating, find a screenshot of the scene where you are carrying the guard on your back, piggy-back style, with a plastic bag over your heads. I swear this happens. maggots.
The puzzle aspect of the game will take you a couple hours to complete. The GAY aspect of the game will haunt you for the rest of your GAYS.
SUMMARY
1. You are a buttloaf.
2. Reactor 09 is half a good game, and an impressive example of an AGS game crafted by a talented, independent author.
3. FAAAAG!!!