Where I Quit Playing The Game

by **AArdvark** » Fri May 04, 2007 7:34 pm

Tasty rum drinks are crawling into my head making everything look double. Laughing at mame board. lughing at nothing, actually. Thank god for IE Spellcheck. I mean, if I were to actually use it.

THE
CAPTIAN MORGAN
WITH A VENGEANCE
AARDVARK

arrrrr have some more ice cubes with your drink

now go play pinball

by **AArdvark** » Fri May 04, 2007 5:14 pm

it's a response to the photoshopped version of your mame control board. It still makes me giggle like a drunk cheerleader.

Well, not that much, but it makes me smile.

THE
IMPENDING HICCUPS
AARDVARK

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri May 04, 2007 1:32 pm

I'm just thrilled to see you two getting along.

by **pinback** » Fri May 04, 2007 1:02 pm

I know, it's like... you can see the designers thinking, "Huh... what... whaddya think we should do now?"

"I know! Genetical monsters!"

"Yeah!"

No.

by **AArdvark** » Fri May 04, 2007 12:56 pm

Mafia racing: Use the not-so-secret glitch, or get the official patch that makes it easier to win. S'what I did.

Far Cry: When the game went from being an island Die-Hard movie to Castle Wolfenstein. Sooon as the monsters started coming out I clicked exit.

THE
STUPID MUTANTS!
AARDVARK

by **pinback** » Fri May 04, 2007 10:41 am

Far Cry: The river, after the sixteen or seventeen thousandth time you stop off, have to kill a hundred guys, then narrowly escape down the river again.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri May 04, 2007 9:07 am

Oh yeah, hygraed, that reminds me:

MAFIA: That GOD DAMN car race. "You can get a save game beyond that level!" cried fans of Mafia. I can also start playing one of ten thousand other games I've been meaning to.

by **hygraed** » Fri May 04, 2007 8:29 am

SCRAPLAND: When I spent a good 30 minutes trying and retrying a two-minute race mission, only to be given another, almost identical mission upon completing the first.

by **Lysander** » Thu May 03, 2007 7:59 pm

Wing Commander III: the middle of the first atmospheric mission, because while the enemies are on "radar", they stil are far enough away from you to the point that you can't see them or shoot them and vice versa and can in fact autopilot right past them, only doing so fails the mission and sends you right onto the unwinnable branch of the losing track. I mean it's bad enough that I'm outnumbered twenty to one in every mission, that'st he very first experience with atomspheric flight in the game, thats' the very first time you get to go up against a totally new type of enemy fighter in the game, it's only hte second time you get to fly the fighter you're given, and the first time that you have to go up against ground-based tank units, but now i have to actively search them out in order to "strafe" with this 2D game's bad approximation of 3d space? Fuck that noise. The fact that it doesn't autosave doesn't help matters.

by **Worm** » Thu May 03, 2007 7:14 pm

Oh yeah! Me too.
(on the computer and then tried it again on the 360)
GEOMETRY/GRID/WHATEV WARS:When I got motherfucking sick of SQUARES AND DIAMONDS killing me, whilst I was a spaceship.

by **AArdvark** » Thu May 03, 2007 6:53 pm

Gridwars! Only because I can't configure my xbox right thumbstick to fire in the up/down directions! Side to side firing is just not cutting the mustard here. I was once positive I could get serious high scores because of my superior ducking and weaving abilities. That's not enough in this case.

I saw there are some copyright infringment mutterings about this game by microsoft recently. They took the download links off'n the website. Think I will put my copy on a nice round CD and keep it SAFE.

THE
DIAMONDS
ARE FOREVER
AARDVARK

by **AArdvark** » Thu May 03, 2007 6:53 pm

Gridwars! Only because I can't configure my xbox right thumbstick to fire in the up/down directions! Side to side firing is just not cutting the mustard here. I was once positive I could get serious high scores because of my superior ducking and weaving abilities. That's not enough in this case.

I saw there are some copyright infringment mutterings about this game by microsoft recently. They took the download links off'n the website. Think I will put my copy on a nice round CD and keep it SAFE.

THE
DIAMONDS
ARE FOREVER
AARDVARK

by **Worm** » Thu May 03, 2007 6:34 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:CIVILIZATION IV: When my computer reacted like it had been on a fourteen hour bender and was coming to grips with the fact that the sun was up and they had to be at work in 45 minutes every goddamn time I played it. Possibly there is now a patch for this game that fixes the rampant memory leaks.

Yes there is! WORTH IT!

DEAD OR ALIVE 4: The fourth 12 year old who beat me in online play because I cannot get it through my head that "back + free" does a counter against medium punches and and "forward + free" does a counter against medium kicks. Also, that people only use moves that I can't counter! I'm better at Tekken!

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu May 03, 2007 6:21 pm

CIVILIZATION IV: When my computer reacted like it had been on a fourteen hour bender and was coming to grips with the fact that the sun was up and they had to be at work in 45 minutes every goddamn time I played it. Possibly there is now a patch for this game that fixes the rampant memory leaks.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:12 am

PREY: When the aliens or whatnot attacked and put everyone in chains. I know that makes it like the 2nd level. Still kind of hurting from that one.

RESIDENT EVIL 4: When my brother decided to practically complete the game in front of me before he left Colorado. I have to wait until I forget what he did so it's all fresh to me.

DEATHROW: It's going to be after one game unless there is a way to bump up the cursing. I thought this was supposed to be the most foul and filthy game of all time? There was more curses per hour in Transformers: the Movie!

BLOODMASTERS: I have never, ever seen someone on-line playing this on-line only game. What's going on here? Is this some kind of sick prank? I'm not saying that the game looks like it's ... whatever you all consider to be a great game, Super Huey II according to this thread, but as far as top-down (free) shooters go it looks like a lot of fun. The only thing I can think of is that the developers are all from the United Kingdom and everyone goes to sleep right as I decide I want to Bloodmaster it.

JINXTER: Originally quit it because I couldn't understand a single word. 20 years later the whole SUPABOOZA LEN GOES LIKE A DRAIN bit in the fake newspaper is positively pant-crapping.

by **Roody_Yogurt** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 7:59 am

Good thread. I'll try to give some additions at some point.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 9:12 pm

Yeah, he was the brass lantern in "Zork: Grand Inquisitor." It's actually this huge process to get it going in XP ... well, that's not strictly true because someone wrote a bat file that did it. I just double-clicked. Anyway, I have it installed on my PC and seeing how if I don't play Torment next Worm will kill me, it looks like Z:GI is a distant #2.

by **hygraed** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 7:51 pm

ICJ wrote:ZORK: GRAND INQUISITOR: When Michael McKean said that the upcoming puzzle will test my "ability to click."

Michael McKean? As in,

by **ICJ** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 12:41 am

ZORK: GRAND INQUISITOR: When Michael McKean said that the upcoming puzzle will test my "ability to click."

ULTIMA 9: ASCENTION: When I left the original area and traveled down the street and saw how laggy and unplayable the game was.

KNIGHT ORC: Right before the encounter with the troll. I am "saving" this one.

X-COM II: TERROR FROM THE DEEP: After the second mission I went on. Seriously, fuck that.

TRIPLE PLAY '97: After 14 games. I realized there were no triples or doubles.

HALF-LIFE II: When I had to move around a big train compartment with an electromagnet, yet I couldn't.

Okay, more tomorrow.

Where I Quit Playing The Game

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