by Ice Cream Jonsey » Wed Jun 13, 2007 11:32 pm
My opinions of the game seem to be scattered through several posts on several websites, but the part I like the most about Jets n' Guns was the shopping. Whoa, I feel a list coming on!
THE TOP FIVE SHOPPING IN VIDEO GAME LIST!!!!
(M.U.L.E. DIS-QUALIFIED COS BIDDING AINT SHOPPINN!!!!)
5. Cyberbaaaaaaalllllll
ll!!!!! 'Nuff said! OK, not enough said: I like how both the New Orleans Saints and Me In Cyberball both got decent quarterbacks the same way: by overpaying like fuck for one.
4. I don't know, some MMORGP, Eve EverAssault I guess. Or the fact that, if I understand the Xbox 360 well enough, there exists the possibility that you can buy a full length, shitty game for 50 dollars, spend 40 hours of your life solving it and get "gamer points" (??) and then redeem those points for Championship Edition Pac-Man. Single-handedly recreates the concept of capitalism ("I'll just pay $10 for Champ Edition Pac instead of finishing Spy Hunter: Nowhere to Run") from scratch. Actually, this deserves its own thread. I can't fathom getting a horrible game, beating it, and having credit for Xbox Arcade and I assume I have it wrong here.
3. Wasteland. At some point, the designers apparently decided to throw as many useless objects as possible into the store shelves. They were useless in a post-Apocalyptic setting, they were useless in my own refrigerator, they were useless in everything in between, which we will helpfully describe as "Worm's Computer Room." I admire the Wasteland team's restraint in not having that one sunburned fuck selling HERRINGS (1), RED
2. Ivan "Ironman" Stewart's Offroad. Bonus points for putting
three steering wheels on the same arcade cabinet. I honestly wish they would have figured out a way to include the Battlezone viewer and bicycle handlebars coming out the side, like
Kuato in "Total Recall." Offroad earns extra bonus points for being the only game on this list that allows you to buy upgrades with real money, too. Offroad was like in the 110s in my Top 100 Games of All-Time Personal List, and mainly lost out because on free play the game loses about 90% of its charm. The 10 per cent that remains is strictly due to the 10-pixel bikinis on the eye candy in that game which, frankly, took a horrible blow when Free Pornography was installed on the net between the game's release and when it was emulated in MAME.
1. Jets n' Motherfucking Gunz! A 100% store credit in buy-backs? Sirs, this is the shoot-em-up that is finally on the
player's side.
My opinions of the game seem to be scattered through several posts on several websites, but the part I like the most about Jets n' Guns was the shopping. Whoa, I feel a list coming on!
[b]THE TOP FIVE SHOPPING IN VIDEO GAME LIST!!!![/b]
(M.U.L.E. DIS-QUALIFIED COS BIDDING AINT SHOPPINN!!!!)
5. Cyberbaaaaaaalllllll[i]ll!!!!![/i] 'Nuff said! OK, not enough said: I like how both the New Orleans Saints and Me In Cyberball both got decent quarterbacks the same way: by overpaying like fuck for one.
4. I don't know, some MMORGP, Eve EverAssault I guess. Or the fact that, if I understand the Xbox 360 well enough, there exists the possibility that you can buy a full length, shitty game for 50 dollars, spend 40 hours of your life solving it and get "gamer points" (??) and then redeem those points for Championship Edition Pac-Man. Single-handedly recreates the concept of capitalism ("I'll just pay $10 for Champ Edition Pac instead of finishing Spy Hunter: Nowhere to Run") from scratch. Actually, this deserves its own thread. I can't fathom getting a horrible game, beating it, and having credit for Xbox Arcade and I assume I have it wrong here.
3. Wasteland. At some point, the designers apparently decided to throw as many useless objects as possible into the store shelves. They were useless in a post-Apocalyptic setting, they were useless in my own refrigerator, they were useless in everything in between, which we will helpfully describe as "Worm's Computer Room." I admire the Wasteland team's restraint in not having that one sunburned fuck selling HERRINGS (1), RED
2. Ivan "Ironman" Stewart's Offroad. Bonus points for putting [url=http://www.klov.com/game_detail.php?letter=&game_id=12843]three steering wheels[/url] on the same arcade cabinet. I honestly wish they would have figured out a way to include the Battlezone viewer and bicycle handlebars coming out the side, like [url=http://www.alvarezwaxmodels.com/Images/Film%20Images/Kuato,George.jpg]Kuato[/url] in "Total Recall." Offroad earns extra bonus points for being the only game on this list that allows you to buy upgrades with real money, too. Offroad was like in the 110s in my Top 100 Games of All-Time Personal List, and mainly lost out because on free play the game loses about 90% of its charm. The 10 per cent that remains is strictly due to the 10-pixel bikinis on the eye candy in that game which, frankly, took a horrible blow when Free Pornography was installed on the net between the game's release and when it was emulated in MAME.
1. Jets n' Motherfucking Gunz! A 100% store credit in buy-backs? Sirs, this is the shoot-em-up that is finally on the [i]player's[/i] side.