A few houses gave out miniature bags of chocolate covered coffee beans this year, which were haggled away from child to parent, I'd fathom.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Work seems to be the place to unload that stuff. There was candy out until mid-December last year. You'd think Colorado was ravaged by an outbreak of pediatric heart disease on the 30th.

I work at home so it looks like I'll have this bowl of candy here till after christmas.

Welp, my favorite holiday is over and there's a whole year to wait again. Sheesh.. now hockey is all I have to live for. one day at a time, Straw... One day at a time.

What was Aardvark's costume?

It was one of the following. Can you guess?




Trick or treat with shot glasses can be fun if ones costume is adult oriented and very cool.

My friend and I went one year, this is maybe 1989, and he had the guy in the cage costume. I had the space aardvark theme. (looked more like pigs in space, actually) Only scored at six or seven houses but it was enough.


THE
DING DONG DRUNK
AARDVARK

I like candy corn

hygraed wrote:

ChainGangGuy wrote:1. Circus Peanuts.
2. Wax Lips.
3. Sixlets.

1. Fuck you
2. Agreed
3. Fuck you

Waitasec, the first thing on his list is circus peanuts, and not "any other substance in the world which would be more reasonable for you to enjoy."

I kid, I kid! This is cool, because much in the same way I (and Gerrit) are the only people to like candy corn, hygraed, you are the first person I have met that likes circus peanuts, my friend. And there is nothing wrong with that. We're learning lots about each other. The most I usually learn about people on Halloween is their puking point. (Works for downing too much candy, too much liquor or both.)

If the bunch of us were ever in a FedEx plane carrying Halloween candy, and it exploded, I think we'd all get along just fine. We seem that we will have ("seem'll"! NEW WORD) no problem divying up things when in this scenario. Unless of course we're on the "wax lips" airbus: that shit's nasty.

What was Aardvark's costume?

Most memorable Halloween 2007 incident: very first group of trick-or-treaters. Kids say trick or treat, hold up bags/plastic pumpkins/pillowcases. Then there's Mom, who holds up a glass frosty mug and says trick or treat? I'm like, are you serious? Are you even of age? (Didn't recognize it was Mom under her veil). She's like yup, I'm their Mom, holds up veil so I can see her. I'm all, chianti or Bud light in a can? She went for the Bud.

ChainGangGuy wrote:1. Circus Peanuts.
2. Wax Lips.
3. Sixlets.

1. Fuck you
2. Agreed
3. Fuck you

co wrote:Damn, not enough kids this year so I'm left with half a bowl of candy. Not that I don't like candy but I really shouldn't eat it. I wonder where I can give this shit away now?

Work seems to be the place to unload that stuff. There was candy out until mid-December last year. You'd think Colorado was ravaged by an outbreak of pediatric heart disease on the 30th.

ChainGangGuy wrote: 1. Circus Peanuts.
2. Wax Lips.
3. Sixlets.

I had never heard of sixlets, so I went to the Internet for help.

Sixlets will melt if kept in a pocket for extended periods of time. Some prefer a slightly melted sixlet. Different colors have a slightly different taste from one another, due to their candy coated shells. In 2003, Hershey Foods Corporation sold their rights to the Sixlets brand name to SweetWorks, Inc.¹ On some variations of the Sixlets package there is a web address (www.sixlets.com). This address does not exist on the web. However, at one time, the site did redirect to SweetWorks' webpage.

Yeah, they sound like they really have their act together.

Also, I was never too keen on receiving religious pamphlets explaining why Halloween was the Devil's Holiday, but they certainly made for sturdy napkins when it came time to feast on candy!

You know, I got pamphlets, but it honestly never occurred to me to read them. Not because I was too cool or anything, but because they were quickly discarded after dumping the plastic jack o'lantern.

To turn things around, here is my current favorite Halloween candy: the lemondrop. Closely followed by its hot bi twin, the Long Island Ice Tea. (In other words, I wouldn't enjoy either unless wearing a mask.)

Here is a first: there was a teenage gal blabbing on her cell phone while up to the door for candy. She did say "thank you," which puts her ahead of every single person on a cell phone in any situation in the city I work in, but still. Sign of the times.

Damn, not enough kids this year so I'm left with half a bowl of candy. Not that I don't like candy but I really shouldn't eat it. I wonder where I can give this shit away now?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:CGG, though, you have to tell us what your most hated candy is. Nobody else has three except me, so you do not need to list that much (fucking bunch of likers around here) but the gallery would appreciate your.... one!

1. Circus Peanuts.
2. Wax Lips.
3. Sixlets.

Also, I was never too keen on receiving religious pamphlets explaining why Halloween was the Devil's Holiday, but they certainly made for sturdy napkins when it came time to feast on candy!

pinbacker wrote:The day Lewis Black is funny is a day that I have yet to experience.

I did not write this.

The day pinback doesn't shit all over things other people like just for the sake of shitting all over things other people like is a day that I have yet to experience.

Wait, who's "pinbacker"? I just noticed that. Is this a different person?

YES, there was some asshole in my neighborhood who gave out toothbrushes too. But they lived right next door to someone who worked for Frito Lay or something and gave out bags of chips and cheezy poofs and stuff, so that reversed the mood pretty well.

The day Lewis Black is funny is a day that I have yet to experience.

Most hated Halloween candy in the history of AArdvark.

I won't call it candy, how about Halloween handouts?

#1 with a bullet: POPCORN BALLS!

Now, I like popcorn. I like corn syrup too, well, not straight up, but mixed in other stuff. Popcorn balls are the cheap miserly way out of giving out any meaningful candy to the hard working trick or treater. I thow them at your windows! The ones with the red and green colored syrup. Think anyone is really gonna eat that crap! HAH! And it's mostly old ladies that give those out. (or apples. or pennies) When I was a paperboy I made sure their Wegman's coupons were absent the following week if I got a popcorn ball.

#2 Toothbrushes: I wont go into detail about this one as it's not a foodstuff. Just let me say I got at least one every year. On more than one occasion my mom had to add eggs to her shopping list the next day.

#3 Weird candy with foreign languages printed on the wrapper.
What the fuck is that? Are you gonna eat it?
I'm not gonna eat it?
Let's get Mikey! Yeah!
Seriously, where can anyone find candy with Cyrillic printing around Rochester? It was Russian. Swear to god. Russian candy in my candy sack. I dunno who dropped it there but I bet it traveled a looong way to get to me. Prolly some mole hiding out until they are called into service. I dint eat it. looked bad. Bolshevik bon-bons.

Other than that, I'd eat most anything in the plastic pumpkin.


THE
GUESS WHAT MY
COSTUME WAS
AARDVARK

ChainGangGuy wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I love candy corn. I fuckin' love it. This is the first year where I have realized that it is truly despised by many other people.

I've always enjoyed candy corn. Does this shocking naysayery also extend to the Indian Corn and Mellowcreme Pumpkins?

I know, I was shocked too. What the hell? There are plenty of things to dislike about Halloween (I'm mainly thinking of all the arson, and mainly thinking of the arson that will burn our house down this year to get really specific) but I'm surprised that candy corn rates so highly. It's like when a neocon shill radio host is condescending and insulting to a caller and then that caller swears at him. Genuine surprise, and wondering if the rest of the world can't comport itself with a little more class.

CGG, though, you have to tell us what your most hated candy is. Nobody else has three except me, so you do not need to list that much (fucking bunch of likers around here) but the gallery would appreciate your.... one!

Bugs wrote:

Bugs wrote:Lewis Black does a great bit about candy corn.

God, I love teh interweb.

[/quote]

That's fucking hilarious. A video linked by Bugs is fast becoming a synonym in COMEDY.