The End of Jolt Country BBS

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by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sat Feb 04, 2012 5:09 am

We may never get an answer!!

by Finsternis » Fri Jun 06, 2008 2:52 pm

Lysander wrote:The constitution gives any state, or group of them, to leave the union at any time, making Lincoln's overbearing decrees unconstitutional.
Umm.... where, exactly, in the Constiution does it say that?

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:05 pm

Hahaha. Welcome back, Ness!

by Bugs » Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:23 pm

Then why are you wearing short sleeves in that picture?

by nessman » Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:58 pm

Bugs wrote:Where's your lawnmower?
In the shed for the winter.

by Bugs » Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:51 pm

Where's your lawnmower?

by nessman » Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:39 pm

Random drive-by racist posting:

Image

by bruce » Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:55 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Anyway, you don't get to start your own country in America if it's not working out the way you planned and you start to receive strained smiles and slightly wagging index fingers from your fellow countrymen because you are making a nice profit off the slave labor of people who aren't either your kids or serving the community because they like a nice brew or keg with their weekend commute. What you get instead is your city burned down and some chinstrap-bearded a-hole who is this close to having a kickass text game last name, instead of the worst one, gloat.

Toby Keith does a song about the Statue of Liberty ringing her bell, and Uncle Sam making out Santa's list, but that shit really happened when a pack of slave-whipping pussies tried to break free from the U.S. of A. If I remember right, Paul Bunyan stomped them with his freeman-cobbled boots during the Battle of Antietam, Johnny Apple'seed' blew loads all over every single soldier the south trotted out there at the Battle of Gettysburg, and the mountain that eventually became Mount Rushmore hurled boulders at Atlanta, after Sherman destroyed it.

Do you know what was left behind when the rocks were thrown off, Lysander? Do you, my friend? It was the glaring, disapproving face of Abe Lincoln himself. That's why nobody's tried to leave the union since. They know what's coming. They added those other three corpo-fascist douchebags alongside him because Honest Abe needed some faces to teabag. (And why was there no women carved into Mount Rushmore? Because Abe Lincoln has CLASS, that's why.)
This is why I stick around this BBS.

Bruce

by AArdvark » Wed Jan 30, 2008 2:56 pm

Know what I like? The offhand phrases that get bandied about and just leave me gasping and hiccuping in my computer chair.

To wit: "Johnny Apple'seed' blew loads all over every single soldier the south trotted out there at the Battle of Gettysburg."

Cursed with an overactive imagination, I can actually see the battle now. There are the Johnny Rebs, advancing in a cloud of smoke, a ragged gray line meandering towards the left and right. Here stands J. Appleseed, hung like a howitzer, and he's got his pantaloons around his ankles and......well, trust me, it's funny!


And now back to our sitcom 'Ford Lincoln Slavery'

THE
SIDEBAR
AARDVARK

by Lysander » Wed Jan 30, 2008 2:07 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:The south is critical for America. They are absolutely the soul of this nation, and we would be poorer in every sense of the word without the people that inhabit those states.
Yeah. I should probably lessen the troll express a little bit on that part; let me make it clear that I do not have anything against what you would call "southerners", today, on the whole. I talk to many of them, some of them are my very bestest of friends. Southern people are ace, and even the painfully dumb ones can be incredibly charming. But, were I alive at the height of the slave-owning period, I would Probably be much less favorably disposed to those people. I mean, if it's between shifting off a few million people who do things I don't agree with and pissing them off by forcing them to stay at artillerypoint, I'ma gonna go with the former option. That's what I'm saying. not that those south of the Mason Dixon line should split off now--although I would apparently get a lot of support in the south if I did. Whatever. That's not a road I want to go down.
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Yeah, well, Lincoln should have sent the army in there to simply beat the shit out of people for the simple fact that they owned slaves, much less because they were trying to leave the country.
Oh, totally, but that's ridiculous and you know it. IF only real life worked that way...
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Anyway, you don't get to start your own country in America if it's not working out the way you planned and you start to receive strained smiles and slightly wagging index fingers from your fellow countrymen
Why not? Theoretically, the federal government shouldn't get involved in matters that are the business of the state, and as far as I can see one state's slave-owning practices only affects anotehr state if a slave runs from a slave-owning state into another state that has no provisions for owning slaves; it's there that hte federal government
has a responsibility ot step in and say "Nice try, New York; what's that behind your back? Another slave? Give 'em back." They weren't doing this. I mean i'm not defending slavery, but if you make laws within your own borders and then some guy comes in and start fucking with your shit, you should be able to leave if you want.
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Do you know what was left behind when the rocks were thrown off, Lysander? Do you, my friend? It was the glaring, disapproving face of Abe Lincoln himself.
That, and the union soldiers who outnumbered the confederates by about 8 zillion to .5. The south losing the civil war was a foregone conclusion, and credit to them for having a genius in charge of their offensive that allowed them to do as well as they did. But you really can't say that Lincoln won the war. Hell, you can't even say Ulysses one the war. What won the war was the people from the south going "plz 2 stop shooting our sons ok :(("
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Come on man, he added Nevada! He had a Caleb and a Gideon in his cabinet! He gave the Gettysburg frigging Address!
He also said he would rather every single slave continue to be a slave than allow another state to leave the union before they start shooting one another. Which do you think had more national influence? ...Not that I'm saying Nevada has no nation--OH SHI

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Wed Jan 30, 2008 2:33 am

Lysander wrote:Yeah, jeeze it's gotta suck for New York. Juliani or Clinton. Bad deal, man, bad deal.
Also, I absolutely love the idea of calling him "Jewliani." MEME BEGINS!

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Wed Jan 30, 2008 2:26 am

Just, for the record... only because it's like reading, to paraphrase Douglas Adams "It rains all the time"... you have to say something...
Lysander wrote:I absolutely hate Lincoln. The guy started a war over a bunch of assbackwards slave-owning white supremmisist assholes wanting to leave the country. Why not just let them leave? The constitution gives any state, or group of them, to leave the union at any time, making Lincoln's overbearing decrees unconstitutional. Besides, frankly, I would rather not have them in my country to begin with.
Come on now. I have given ... well, impotently given by typing stuff into an obscure bulletin board wholly ignored by the Internet at large... the south shit for electing some horrible politicans recently, but the south is critical for America. They are absolutely the soul of this nation, and we would be poorer in every sense of the word without the people that inhabit those states.

Their political views would seem to differ from mine, but what the hell do I know? What makes me the big expert? I'm not going to list off all the beautiful places in the former Confederate States of America or anything like that, but if I had a choice between being stuck in a windowless room with no air conditioning and packed with either people from the Big Obnoxious City, Blue State or Thibodaux, Louisiana, well, who dat gonna pick dem yankees.

Instead of allowing people with irreconcilable differences to peacefully form their own country
Yeah, well, Lincoln should have sent the army in there to simply beat the shit out of people for the simple fact that they owned slaves, much less because they were trying to leave the country.

Anyway, you don't get to start your own country in America if it's not working out the way you planned and you start to receive strained smiles and slightly wagging index fingers from your fellow countrymen because you are making a nice profit off the slave labor of people who aren't either your kids or serving the community because they like a nice brew or keg with their weekend commute. What you get instead is your city burned down and some chinstrap-bearded a-hole who is this close to having a kickass text game last name, instead of the worst one, gloat.

Toby Keith does a song about the Statue of Liberty ringing her bell, and Uncle Sam making out Santa's list, but that shit really happened when a pack of slave-whipping pussies tried to break free from the U.S. of A. If I remember right, Paul Bunyan stomped them with his freeman-cobbled boots during the Battle of Antietam, Johnny Apple'seed' blew loads all over every single soldier the south trotted out there at the Battle of Gettysburg, and the mountain that eventually became Mount Rushmore hurled boulders at Atlanta, after Sherman destroyed it.

Do you know what was left behind when the rocks were thrown off, Lysander? Do you, my friend? It was the glaring, disapproving face of Abe Lincoln himself. That's why nobody's tried to leave the union since. They know what's coming. They added those other three corpo-fascist douchebags alongside him because Honest Abe needed some faces to teabag. (And why was there no women carved into Mount Rushmore? Because Abe Lincoln has CLASS, that's why.)

Lincoln allowed more slaves to live in tirany and caused a war to get started sending Americans fighting against Americans, all for the purposes of "saving the integrity of the union." As if this wasn't bad enough, he instituted the very first draft, as well as making the famous imancipation proclamation... freing the slaves... from the North. Y'know. Who were actually free. IE he didn't do shit and it was only the following constitutional amendments that truly freed the slaves.
Come on man, he added Nevada! He had a Caleb and a Gideon in his cabinet! He gave the Gettysburg frigging Address! If you end up with the conclusion that teaming back up with the south was bad, then yeah, I could see how you might short change his accomplishments, but aside from Taft, Einstein, MLK, Benjamin Franklin and me after you all make it to the end of this post, he's probably the greatest American who has ever walked the Earth. THE EARTH, BOND!

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Wed Jan 30, 2008 1:53 am

co wrote:According to his notes, Lincoln did have a chance to end the war early by simply buying all of the slaves from their owners - but chose not to go that route.
The hell was he going to do with four million former slaves, start eleven thousand NBAs?

(Reagan would have paid for their freedom. And then installed them as the new air traffic controllers the next week.)

by co » Tue Jan 29, 2008 11:42 pm

Lincoln does get too much credit for the whole slave freeing thing - it wasn't his idea or his passion. The way I understand it (from reading his speeches and letters), the congress was pushing to end slavery which caused the southern states to secede (starting with South Carolina, a fact they are still very proud of). As Lysander said Lincoln's concern was in fact with preserving the union more than freeing the slaves. Congress didn't really care about the slaves freedom either, btw, the real worry was all of the money and political power being brought to the south by slavery.

I'm not sure what Lysander thinks would have happened if the north had let the confederates "leave". I guarantee there would have been a war sometime whether by northern or southern aggression. The south would have kept using slavery to churn out profits and at some point would have been strong enough to kick the union's ass. According to his notes, Lincoln did have a chance to end the war early by simply buying all of the slaves from their owners - but chose not to go that route.

by Vitriola » Tue Jan 29, 2008 11:20 pm

Yeah, it has taken me hours, and I've only begun to formulate my post.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Tue Jan 29, 2008 11:08 pm

I'll split this off so we can talk about Lincoln properly. Lysander, my friend, that was political DYNAMITE.

by Knuckles the CLown » Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:54 pm

:(
I absolutely hate Lincoln. The guy started a war over a bunch of assbackwards slave-owning white supremmisist assholes wanting to leave the country. Why not just let them leave? The constitution gives any state, or group of them, to leave the union at any time, making Lincoln's overbearing decrees unconstitutional. Besides, frankly, I would rather not have them in my country to begin with.

Instead of allowing people with irreconcilable differences to peacefully form their own country,Lincoln allowed more slaves to live in tirany and caused a war to get started sending Americans fighting against Americans, all for the purposes of "saving the integrity of the union." As if this wasn't bad enough, he instituted the very first draft, as well as making the famous imancipation proclamation... freing the slaves... from the North. Y'know. Who were actually free. IE he didn't do shit and it was only the following constitutional amendments that truly freed the slaves.
What the fuck are they teaching in school these days. Tell me thats your knuckles impression or something right?

by Knuckles the CLown » Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:50 pm

goddamn edit post

by Lysander » Tue Jan 29, 2008 8:44 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:You're right in that liberalism completely doomed New York State. [...] I'd be voting Republican as often as I could if I lived in NY.


Yeah, jeeze it's gotta suck for New York. Juliani or Clinton. Bad deal, man, bad deal.
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Bush's administration works for corporations. With my lone, meager vote, I would like to see the country get away from that, at least for four years. Who is going to help us realize that?

- Ron Paul would. But a lot of his other ideas are crazy, and he might just hate Jewish people.
I'm not going to debate his ideas on this forum because I don't need to and once I do the thread will immediately degenerate into SoP, CO, Knuckles and my favorit, the anonymous poster all coming out of the woodwork to call me a maggot. But I'd just like to make the point that Bush's extremism has shifted the country (and, by extent, the western world) so far to the right that I think we need a certain kind of extremist position in the opposite direction for at least one term to kind of even this shit out. Know what I'm sayin'?

Besides, he's the only candidate I could truly call a "uniter"--a Republican that thinks like a Democrat? Mmmmkay! He'll have a harder time convincing his own party to go along with him but fortunately, since Dems are in the majority, that won't be a problem. Since the Democratic congress has been nothing short of a total and complete embarrassment in every possible way the President needs to be someone who can whip them into shape.
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:- Maybe John McCain, but with the way he embraced and slurped down the dick of Bush, after the way Bush campaigned against him in 2000, who knows? There's a lot of status quo here.
That sums up my thoughts on McCain pretty succinctly. The guy vasolates from being awesome to acceptible to horrible in the space of a week. Just watch all of his Daily Show appearances and you'll see what I mean--a few of them are awesome, some are gner and a couple make you want to punch him in the face. He's kind of a wildcard at this point, I think.
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:- I am convinced that Hillary gets us Jeb Bush in 2012 or 2016. Plus, you know what, I really, really dislike the thought that electing Hillary gets us 16 years of Clinton/Bush rule. It's fucking ridiculous.
Absolutely. It makes me ill to think that all of the people who are sick and tired of Bush are then falling over themselves to elect someone else from the same aeristocracy. ANd by the way, as much as Clinton Bush-bashes (which is far more than any other candidate), I notice she is the most Bush-like out of all of them: taking campaign contributions from large corporations, staging fake questions and answers, the constant soundbytes, and of course the voter fraud--not that they aren't all doing it but still.

Not to mention the same "You're either with us or against us" policy that got us into fucking Iraq in the first place. Calling the Iran royal guard a terrorist organization is one of the most boneheaded idiotic moves I've ever seen and is exactly the kind of thinking that will lead us into world war three, which we will lose.
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Who does that leave? John Edwards? You know what, personally, I'm good with putting the country in charge of the fucking Southerners for another four years.
Edwards's policies I quite like actually--he really hammers lobbyests, which I think is the biggest thing wrong with American government right now. Oh sure, there are lots of more immediate problems, but all of them, if you think about it, source from soft-money donations because without them the congress would be more motivated to fix them. SO that's awesome. But he doesn't seem very sincere, to me. he's campaigning hard to the middle class--people who live paycheck to paycheck, and that is basically how everyone I know opperates, so that's also good too, but just because I'm being campaigned to doesn't mean I dont' recognize it. Stop the speeches, just talk to me K
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Put William Howard Taft (who was probably the third best President this country ever had, after Lincoln and FDR)
:(

I absolutely hate Lincoln. The guy started a war over a bunch of assbackwards slave-owning white supremmisist assholes wanting to leave the country. Why not just let them leave? The constitution gives any state, or group of them, to leave the union at any time, making Lincoln's overbearing decrees unconstitutional. Besides, frankly, I would rather not have them in my country to begin with.

Instead of allowing people with irreconcilable differences to peacefully form their own country,Lincoln allowed more slaves to live in tirany and caused a war to get started sending Americans fighting against Americans, all for the purposes of "saving the integrity of the union." As if this wasn't bad enough, he instituted the very first draft, as well as making the famous imancipation proclamation... freing the slaves... from the North. Y'know. Who were actually free. IE he didn't do shit and it was only the following constitutional amendments that truly freed the slaves.

by Lysander » Tue Jan 29, 2008 8:33 pm

lolwups

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