Best cast ever.

by **Roody_Yogurt** » Fri Jan 24, 2003 6:08 pm

I think the writing is a bit dry and unnatural but I still enjoy the result a good deal.

by **Ben** » Fri Jan 24, 2003 5:51 pm

He (M. Trite ShyamaSUCK) is just a bad writer, that's all. I really want to like his movies, as they're obviously labors of love, and I don't fault the guy for trying, and I don't begrudge him his success.

He just can't write. Either that or he intentionally aims for the lowest common denomenator, in which case I take back what I said about his films being labors of love, and instead accuse him of being money grubbing scum.

Take your pick.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Jan 24, 2003 4:51 pm

Sixth Sense.... wasn't bad. I got sucked in by the twist.

Unbreakable... I liked it more the second and third time I saw it. (I bought the DVD; I didn't go to the theatre to see it.) The ending was spoiled by the pieces of shit at "www.dumbassandthefag.com," and I have no qualms in saying that they are two fucking buckets of human garbage. I have not been to their website since. B. Fatt at www.bfatt-lazy.com has never spoiled a film, and he reviews everything, even true shit. Regardless of whether one liked Unbreakable or not, it was not so OVERTLY crappy that a movie reviewer spoiling it was "all good."

Signs... liked it the best of his flicks so far. (Saw it with JC's Danzaland as a matter of fact.)

Overall, I really like how Shyamalan went and picked "Ghost Story," "Superhero Story" and "Aliens Story" and made movies out of them. I'm going to get unbearable for a moment and equate that with the games I've tried to write, but only because I fail at trying to do the same thing: I tried Splatterpunk, Superhero, Horror and Cyberpunk for the four big attempts, but they all came out rather similar.

Oh, and the fact that Pinback spelled his name correctly elevates him above 99.999999% of all people who hate the guy's flicks. I can say that I am proud to call Mr Parrish a friend because he did not go for the easy snide comment.

But how he liked Spielturd's alien flick better is just beyond me. Shit, wait, I need to go and change I spelled tha

by **Roody_Yogurt** » Fri Jan 24, 2003 2:37 am

I thought Sixth Sense was good in a slightly bland way. I thought Unbreakable was great but a bit rough in the beginning. Signs, while not terrible, was like an extended 'amazing stories' episode, which doesn't completely lend itself to the genre.

by **Ben** » Fri Jan 24, 2003 2:26 am

You're only embarrassing yourself.

You know, I caved in today and rented "Signs". I saw the groundbreaking success of "Sixth Sense", watched it, thought it was well made, but sucked.

Then I saw "Unbreakable", and thought that it was also well made, and sucked, but sucked less than Sixth Sense.

Now with Signs, I give Mr. M. Night "I have the dumbest name ever" Shyamalan's third movie.

Well made.

Sucked so hard my television almost imploded.

I figured out the problem, though. Written, Directed, and Produced by M. Night Shyamalan. The direction is pretty decent. Production values first rate.

Motherfucker CANNOT WRITE. God, what a horrible movie. Horrible. Feh. I guess the "M" stands for "Maybe I should learn how to write a decent movie, but then again, what the hell for, since everything I do gets drooled on by all the critics, and the money is flowing in faster than I can roll it up and snort coke with it off a hooker's tits."

Lord.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Jan 24, 2003 12:23 am

gsdgsd wrote:I actually laughed quite a bit. But I'm not proud. I'm not proud of anything I've done.

FUCKING OWNED, PINBACK. I'm going to go round up some friends... OK, that's a lie, but I am going to sit quietly by myself in the theatre for that one now. Ach! Ach! Ach!

I heard there's not much Miss Blair in it, though. :_(

by **gsdgsd** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 11:25 pm

When this whole thread began, I found myself nodding silently along with Ben, occasionally mouthing "amen, brother."

Today I became one of these people:

Ben wrote:

Code: Select all

"Aren't movies horrible anymore?"
"Oh, yes, definitely."
"Hey, do you want to go see &#91;horrible movie&#93; next week?"
"Whoa, hell yes!!"

I saw "A Guy Thing". Yes, there was a girl involved in getting me to see it. I actually laughed quite a bit. But I'm not proud. I'm not proud of anything I've done.

Greg

by **Drake Blaze, Space Hero!** » Tue Jan 21, 2003 12:42 am

Do not be fooled by this charlatan Space Puck and his atrociously colored fonts. I Drake Blaze, Space Hero!, being a hero for all of space (which, of course, only exists in the future) can assure you no one types like that! But don't worry, Future Historian, my associate Space! Film Historian, had the following answer to your question:

After flopping in "A Very Tenacious Christmas: The Tenacious D Christmas Spectacular", Jack Black will drop off the hollywood radar for a decade before doing a John Travolta-esque comeback in 2010.

Once View Askew Productions closes shop, Jason Lee will be consigned to romantic comedy hell, never again producing an even remotely appealing movie. In 2007, however, he and Owen Wislon will achieve commercial (if not artistic) success in "Chasing Shanghai Dusks", a daring homosexual romantic comedy. Their combined "nonthreatening cute and funny guy" charm will draw female viewers in droves, eventually supplanting Titanic as the film to obsess the most preteen girls in history.

by **Forum Eyeballs** » Tue Jan 21, 2003 12:25 am

Thanks Puck, I've just been ripped out of everybody's head.

by **Spaceman Puck** » Tue Jan 21, 2003 12:24 am

Greeting! I am Spaceman Puck! I am from the future!

In the future everyone types like this!

Jason Lee's first non-mediocre effort will be Fletch Won! In Feb. 2005!

Jack Black will die of heroin-related causes in 2004!

That's it really.

Oh, and I have a spiffy, silver-and-purple SPAAAACE UNNNIFOOOORM!!!

[/u][/i][/b]

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jan 21, 2003 12:19 am

Er... well...

Er, Drawing Flies?

Um... FUCK.

JC FUN FAX: Ice Cream Jonsey's copy of "Drawing Flies" was in fact sold to him by fellow JC denizen ChainGangGuy!

by **Film Historian** » Mon Jan 20, 2003 11:55 pm

Say, can anyone name a single non-Kevin Smith movie featuring Jason Lee that wasn't aggressively mediocre at best? Also, on a related note, what's the over/under on Jack Black ever doing a movie that fulfills the promise he showed in "High Fidelity"?

by **Commander Data** » Sat Jan 18, 2003 3:14 am

Lol?

Is that you, Lol?

by **LOL** » Sat Jan 18, 2003 3:06 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Ebert hasn't weighed in yet.

All the scales ran away.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Jan 18, 2003 2:25 am

Fuck you, Ebert hasn't weighed in yet. There's still a chance.

by **Ben** » Sat Jan 18, 2003 2:05 am

So, how did you all like this movie, which of course, rightfully so, has been roundly panned by any critic worth their salt?

Did you enjoy it?

I hope so, because all the money you gave them will persuade them to make even more horrible movies just like it.

Nice job. Thanks.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 5:14 pm

Ben wrote:And YOU people, by continuing to subsidise LOUSY CRAP, as long as they have your favorite "cute guy actor" in it (which, I don't even wanna get into it), are making it so every year we get about 100 Pearl Harbors and less than 1 Solaris, and/or Coen movie.

It is ALL YOUR FAULT, and I blame you.

(Seriously.)

We're acting gay for Jason Lee because he ELEVATES most of the movies that he's in, and makes them better than the otherwise would be.

Did I go see "Heartbreakers"? No. "Stealing Harvard"? No. "Mumford"? No. Those movies did not appeal to me, even though my favorite actor was in them. But he singlehandedly turned Mallrats from something unwatchable to something that, when he's on the screen, is as funny as a box of dwarvish liquid fuck.

Anyway, you should talk -- you'd go grab the next Rush CD when it came out the instant it came out, wouldn't you? If this new flick gets universally & completely panned I'll probably change my mind and stay away from it.

by **ChainGangGuy** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 5:04 pm

It is ALL YOUR FAULT, and I blame you.

I think I just got myself rolled over by the Ben Parrish Content-Train.

by **James** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 3:34 pm

Did you see that one Jennifer Love Hewwit movie based on Jason Lee being in it?

Eh, I don't even go out to see movies that seem decent anymore. For Two Towers I'd rather get to reading the book myself and watch the movie at home. Furthermore the only person who I know who wants to see it is my older brother and lately shit's been hectic and we just don't have the time.

Ben, is right. Quality does seem to be dying down. Some people don't give a shit though. I've had Filet Mignon (I'll have to remember the spelling) I've also sat down and ate coffee with some bad milk and celery that was half rotten. Just because something is awful doesn't mean you have to never have it. I mean I've been assumed by movies that made me ashamed to be amused by them and that is what happens. I was ashamed to enjoy and movie but at least I enjoyed it.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 2:47 pm

Ben wrote:Why do we not demand the same in our movies? There have been movies with dick jokes, white people and light sabers that have been FABULOUS, and there have been artsy-fartsy movies with "themes" and "undertones" that have SUCKED.

Look, you pessimistic old codger, Selma Blair is incredibly cute, and one day I am going to meet and marry a girl who looks just like her and she's going to say, "Why are you still running that BBS?" and I'll be all, "I dunno," and she'll be all, "Come to bed and turn that thing off," and I'll be all, "Dddurrrr, OK" and I will never, ever talk to any of you ever again.

But UNTIL that day comes, I have to sit through the real one's (previously) shitty movies and hope. Well, now after all these years she's making one with BRODIE FUCKING BRUCE.

It's about goddamn time.

Best cast ever.

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