by Richard "Lowtax" » Fri Feb 07, 2003 12:23 am
Solution: Apparently there is some kind of racial problem going on down there, and if Russell Simmon's "Def Comedy Jam" has taught me anything, it's that all racial barriers and blockades can be broken through the sheer power of African American comedy. Black comics have the ability to tackle any and every racial issue without being labeled a racist because it's scientifically impossible for black people to be racist. Therefore, I believe we should adopted a bartering system with Zimbabwe: for every displaced white farmer they send us, we'll give them one African American comedian who specializes in a particular theme of racial comedy. We'll get some moron who harvests corn, and they'll receive a black guy who points out how uptight white people are when harvesting corn. Then, through the powerful medium of laughing at sweeping generalizations which may or may not be based in reality, Zimbabwe will soon find themselves devoid of meddlesome white farmers... and chock full of laughter! Their government will eventually take the hint by disassociating themselves with the genocidal, murderous, warring tribes, and instead appointing hilarious, cutting edge, sassy American African-American comedic geniuses! The amount of red tape and stabbed citizens will be slashed as each and every governmental meeting will turn into a loving laugh-in!
PRESIDENT MGBVUMNDBSE: "Greetings staff members. I have called this meeting so we may discuss the current economic problems our dear country of Zimbabwe is facing."
AMERICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMIC #1: "Staff? You talkin' bout staffs? Then you talkin' to the right man, cus us black men got some big STAFFS, if you know what I'm talkin' bout!"
AMERICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMIC #2: "See, now white folks, they get all nervous when they see a crazy niggah like me in the urinal next to 'em. They be trying not to look over an shit at me cus they know if they try to look over, they gonna get a big eyefull of my beautiful black rod, you know what I'm talking about!"
AMERICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMIC #3: "Us black people we all cool and shit when we peein'. White people, man, they actin' like peein' is some kinda BUSINESS, they all like 'ERUMPH, HRUMPH, let me call this meeting to order, Mr. Johnson, you are now at the head of the table.' Us niggahs, we just pee, you know what I'm sayin?"
PRESIDENT MGBVUMNDBSE: "I wish the next coup would hurry the hell up."
AMERICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMIC #1: "Coup? Yeah, thas coo', we black people are all coo' an shit, we be sittin' round and just relaxin', but white people, man, they be some crazy folk!"
Solution: Apparently there is some kind of racial problem going on down there, and if Russell Simmon's "Def Comedy Jam" has taught me anything, it's that all racial barriers and blockades can be broken through the sheer power of African American comedy. Black comics have the ability to tackle any and every racial issue without being labeled a racist because it's scientifically impossible for black people to be racist. Therefore, I believe we should adopted a bartering system with Zimbabwe: for every displaced white farmer they send us, we'll give them one African American comedian who specializes in a particular theme of racial comedy. We'll get some moron who harvests corn, and they'll receive a black guy who points out how uptight white people are when harvesting corn. Then, through the powerful medium of laughing at sweeping generalizations which may or may not be based in reality, Zimbabwe will soon find themselves devoid of meddlesome white farmers... and chock full of laughter! Their government will eventually take the hint by disassociating themselves with the genocidal, murderous, warring tribes, and instead appointing hilarious, cutting edge, sassy American African-American comedic geniuses! The amount of red tape and stabbed citizens will be slashed as each and every governmental meeting will turn into a loving laugh-in!
PRESIDENT MGBVUMNDBSE: "Greetings staff members. I have called this meeting so we may discuss the current economic problems our dear country of Zimbabwe is facing."
AMERICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMIC #1: "Staff? You talkin' bout staffs? Then you talkin' to the right man, cus us black men got some big STAFFS, if you know what I'm talkin' bout!"
AMERICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMIC #2: "See, now white folks, they get all nervous when they see a crazy niggah like me in the urinal next to 'em. They be trying not to look over an shit at me cus they know if they try to look over, they gonna get a big eyefull of my beautiful black rod, you know what I'm talking about!"
AMERICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMIC #3: "Us black people we all cool and shit when we peein'. White people, man, they actin' like peein' is some kinda BUSINESS, they all like 'ERUMPH, HRUMPH, let me call this meeting to order, Mr. Johnson, you are now at the head of the table.' Us niggahs, we just pee, you know what I'm sayin?"
PRESIDENT MGBVUMNDBSE: "I wish the next coup would hurry the hell up."
AMERICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMIC #1: "Coup? Yeah, thas coo', we black people are all coo' an shit, we be sittin' round and just relaxin', but white people, man, they be some crazy folk!"