I DID get rid of it. I think I sold it for a hundred bucks. The red painted wood was chipping so badly off the bottom part of the cabinet that it left a red, slug-like trail behind it each time I moved it.

We all still hate Make Trax. Did you get rid of it? I don't remember it being around.

I have no chance at breaking any of the scores on this list.

I've been playing Asteroids in MAME for years now and just this past weekend had the opportunity to play it on an authentic cabinet. My high score was just over 10,000, which is so pathetically low that I already feel embarassed for mentioning it.

I've never been good at Galaga. I once mentioned to a friend, "Wow, I didn't know there was a [i]second[/i] bonus stage!" He wrote me off after that. Seriously, I think the furthest I've ever got is somewhere around stage 12. And there's no reason for me to start another paragraph for Pac-Man or Ms. Pac-Man; I suck at them, too. I might be able to beat people that don't have arms or are too short to reach the joystick ... that's about it.

With a little practice, I think the Donkey Kong score might be within my reach. I played last weekend for the first time in a while and hit 55,000 on my first try. I play DK in a 48-in-1 cabinet that has a shitty 8-way joystick installed at the moment. With a 4-way, I might be able to get some practice in.

I didn't catch what the Scramble high score was, but I might have a chance at that one too. Then again, I've owned two Scramble cabinets over the past few years.

I hit mid-30s on Q*Bert regularly; 40+ might be in the cards on a good day.

I have a dedicated Make Trax cabinet. God I hate that game. I have it on the 48-in-1 cabinet as well and I never play it there, either.

Galaga is hard. Galaxian is easier because there is no trying to get beamed up for double-ship play.

I used to play mouse trap quite a bit. Probably because I spent so much time at Putt Putt and it was a 'new' game.


THE
NEW OLD
AARDVARK

ALso, Ben finished with 278,000 on Galaga. That might survive for a while.

[quote="AArdvark"]Hey, whats the high score on Mouse Trap?

[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/86/Mtrap.png[/img]


THE
MANY WASTED QUARTERS
AARDVARK[/quote]

In fact, I don't have that one. And it is not on the multigame. I got Make Trax, though. Is that close enough? I am pretty sure Ben demolished the score in it. Make Trax psh, more like MAKE JONSEY CRY.

[quote="Ice Cream Jonsey"]IIt's a credit, a [b]feature[/b] that the game is on a relatively lightweight Taito cab, which weigh less than the average arcade cabinet.[/quote]

Let alone the average 2008 arcade [i]gamer[/i].

Bruce

[quote="pinback"]This thread makes me look like a dick now.[/quote]

This thread? Look like? Now?

Bruce

Well, yeah. The first few boards suck.

What would have been nice if they did a sequel would be if they had the "crow" animal, that exclusively flew along the top of the zoo when it got out, and picked your eyes apart (read: killed you) if you touched it. Thus making the area above the zoo not necessarily completely safe.

That's true. In that sense, I like the game, or at least I like BRICK ADVENTURE, the 1/3 of the game that isn't unbelievably tedious and stupid.

I just object to the idea that one single ANIMAL JUMP is enough to give you ten times more points than you'd earned up to that point. It invalidates all that came before.

If someone gets, let's say, 150,000 on Asteroids, you know they got there 20, 50, 100, 500, and 1000 points at a time.

As ANIMAL JUMPER stands, you might as well remove the first six boards.

I will also say this in defense of Zoo Keeper.

I have constantly stated that it should have been a spinner game and, in fact, it is poorer for not being on a spinner.

But if it [i]were,[/i] the player would lose the very real thrill of freaking the fuck out, with his entire body, treating the very cabinet itself like it was a rag doll that owed you - the player - a sizable sum of money.

There is just something undeniably entertaining, from a hardwired caveman standpoint, about moving Zeke (the player character in Zoo Keeper) around the zoo, finding and [i]anticipating[/i] the exact pixel that is "safe" for him to touch down, before launching him up again. It's like - it's like, we do this mental calculus to determine the speed of the animals and determine their position along the zoo when Zeke touches down WHILE physically slamming the joystick around, rocking the entire cab. Math and gym, merging at the same time. It's a credit, a [b]feature[/b] that the game is on a relatively lightweight Taito cab, which weigh less than the average arcade cabinet.

Then I shall update.

GET THE LASER (0%): Robb rules at this game.

MR. DO (0%): Reminds me, I set the high score on Dig Dug, a far superior (and yet still terrible) game.

Regarding ANIMAL JUMPER, it is a skill/strategy game if you want to set world records. To set the record in this house, THIS house, requires a bit of strategy, a bit of skill, and one, single, fortunate press of the "jump" button.

I'm not denigrating your accomplishment -- I saw it, and was properly amazed and impressed. I am denigrating the game.

Well, I guess I [i]am[/i] denigrating your accomplishment a little, by association, but that was not my intent.

This thread makes me look like a dick now.

THREAD OVER.

[quote]BURGER TIME (1%): I think I would rather make actual cheeseburgers, is the problem here. [/quote]

Yeah, this is so easily Greg's game to get the high score on, nobody will even touch it out of respect.


[quote]CRYSTAL CASTLES (0.5%): MAYBE if I spent all day on it, I could beat Robb's score, but I almost certainly will not do either. [/quote]

Well, plug that bitch in and get going!


[quote]SPY HUNTER (0%): For some reason I remember being good at this as a child. Perhaps I was simply good at playing the theme song on the bass guitar. [/quote]

I'm not going to lie to you. I have seen numerous people walk up to my Spy Hunter machine, and they all drive like they've never seen a pictoral representation of a car before. The steering pedal is analog, everyone.

[quote]ANIMAL JUMPER (5%): I would have said 0% until last night, until Robb blew away his own personal high score by over 100,000 points. You would think this would make me feel like I had LESS chance, but when I saw how he DID it, it made me realize that ANIMAL JUMPER is a steaming pile of crap, that anyone can set a high score on with a little strategy, a lot of luck, and one single lucky jump. If you can set the high score with a single press of a single button, that is not a game that belongs on an all-time best list. ANIMAL JUMPER is a joke. [/quote]

How is it a joke? You think there isn't any strategy? It's a strategy game, Pinner. Why do you think the same five guys make it to the Twin Galaxies final table of Zoo Keeper every YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys at Funspot? Do you think the veritable ZOO of animals I had lined up to jump over just happened by a lucky [i]fucking[/i] accident? Do you know how long I have been playing Zoo Keeper, and/or coding a text game called Cryptozookeeper? Every goddamn night of my life for the last two and a half years (for one or the other) (I've only had the arcade game for a year). TWO AND A HALF YEARS! And that just "happened" because of a "lucky joke"??? I am actually - I am smiling. I am FUCKING smiling with rage right now, spittle going everywhere, in unblinking incomprehension.


[quote]TEMPEST (0%): Just because he won't turn it on. [/quote]

Because of how the world has treated me, there are only two things in my life that can happen that would genuinely piss me off.

1. My cats escape.
2. The monitor on Tempest goes out.

I'll turn on Tempest this weekend. I just like being around when it is active.


[quote]MS. PAC MAN (10%): This is the last of the games that I think I might actually have a shot at, that wouldn't take hours and hours of dedicated practice. Do I have the guts? Do I have the will? Do I have the stamina to prove it? 10% chance. [/quote]

Jason Scott of the clan Scott managed to set a high score in THREE tries. It is on speed-up! Look, I fucking suck. Check, check, check - all night long. Ice water veins, pay this myan his myonyey. Just set it already. 186K on Ms. Pac? You dropped 230K on regular Pac with extreme disinterest.


[quote]GYRUSS (0%): I was 8K short of the high score before, and could probably beat it, but I dislike the game so intensely that it's not even worth going back to it. [/quote]

I'll turn up the music then. It rocks hard when the music is loud.


[quote]GET THE LASER (0%): I don't even know what the high score is on GET THE LASER -- I may have set it already? -- but the game is so deadly boring and one-dimensional, I mean, the goal is right there in the title! I won't go back. [/quote]

My high score on Arkanoid, for a single quarter, starting from the beginning, is 130K. I honestly feel that of all the arcade games ever made, I could [i]possibly[/i] set the world record on Arkanoid, if I had 5 years to practice.

... And I see that we have glossed over Mr. Do!. There's gonna be some Mr. Do! being played this weekend. Funnily enough, now that the garden at my house has become a cacophony of broken dreams, symbol of crushed hope and earthy bed of rejection, I feel more bonded with Mr. Do! than ever before. I'm gonna get me a sleeping cap.

Here are the major games that I have not dominated yet, and the chances (in parens) I will do so:
--------------------------

BURGER TIME (1%): I think I would rather make actual cheeseburgers, is the problem here.

CRYSTAL CASTLES (0.5%): MAYBE if I spent all day on it, I could beat Robb's score, but I almost certainly will not do either.

SPY HUNTER (0%): For some reason I remember being good at this as a child. Perhaps I was simply good at playing the theme song on the bass guitar.

ANIMAL JUMPER (5%): I would have said 0% until last night, until Robb blew away his own personal high score by over 100,000 points. You would think this would make me feel like I had LESS chance, but when I saw how he DID it, it made me realize that ANIMAL JUMPER is a steaming pile of crap, that anyone can set a high score on with a little strategy, a lot of luck, and one single lucky jump. If you can set the high score with a single press of a single button, that is not a game that belongs on an all-time best list. ANIMAL JUMPER is a joke.

TEMPEST (0%): Just because he won't turn it on.

MS. PAC MAN (10%): This is the last of the games that I think I might actually have a shot at, that wouldn't take hours and hours of dedicated practice. Do I have the guts? Do I have the will? Do I have the stamina to prove it? 10% chance.

GYRUSS (0%): I was 8K short of the high score before, and could probably beat it, but I dislike the game so intensely that it's not even worth going back to it.

DONKEY KONG (0%): This may be the one I genuinely feel I have no shot to beat, even if I tried all day. I dunno what it is. I got a Kong Mental Block.

GET THE LASER (0%): I don't even know what the high score is on GET THE LASER -- I may have set it already? -- but the game is so deadly boring and one-dimensional, I mean, the goal is right there in the title! I won't go back.

Q*BERT (6%): After my first night, I put this at about 50%, but unless something magical happens, I don't think I have a shot.

Yeah, it ain't looking good for me holding anything on BurgerTime aside from the pickle's BALLS. I suspect you will break 29,000 while holding a conversation and/or consuming a beverage, half-paying attention to the screen.

I am basically, at this point, down to:

Mappy. I feel this game is not interesting enough for Ben. It's like a game for a small child or ferret.

Zoo Keeper. I can play a lot better than I have been playing recently. I dropped 337K on it last night just messing around.

Spy Hunter. Only because there is some issue with the sound causing it to blast static at about 300db, so it will just flat-out pulp anyone playing with a soundwave if they try to stick around for 125K.

[quote="Ice Cream Jonsey"]BurgerTime: STILL SAFE. I believe this is because he simply ran out of time, setting high scores on all the other games.[/quote]

I'll be there in a few weeks!

[quote="pinback"]All I can deduce from this is that the key to becoming good at arcade games is [b][i]years of chronic alcohol abuse[/i][/b].

It's the key to so [i]many[/i] things, isn't it?[/quote]

Amen.

Preach it, brother.

Bruce

Hey, whats the high score on Mouse Trap?

[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/86/Mtrap.png[/img]


THE
MANY WASTED QUARTERS
AARDVARK

It's like the odd couple meets Time-Out over there.

[url=http://www.cityofberwyn.com/arcade.mp3] welcome to Jonsey's House[/url]


THE
INSERT COIN
AARDVARK

The funny thing is, when all these games first came out, I was terrible at them.

All I can deduce from this is that the key to becoming good at arcade games is [b][i]years of chronic alcohol abuse[/i][/b].

It's the key to so [i]many[/i] things, isn't it?