It would have been cool if you were to just turn the propane on very low and when they all went in for the night.......They didn't get up in the morning.



THE
CANARY IN A COAL MINE
AARDVARK

Last winter a community of birds moved into our grill. I don't mean like one or two, I mean like a thousand. This spring when I opened the grill the entire thing was stuffed with nest and straw, so much that I could no longer close the grill. There were like 20 eggs in there which I got smacked for suggested that "hey, since they're already on the grill ..." So then eventually I got called an asshole because I removed all the straw (seriously, like 20 pounds worth) out of my grill. Well the birds got the last laugh because now the grill doesn't work right. The electric starter doesn't work at all and none of the burners have any "power" ... when you light them it's like trying to cook over a Bic lighter. I just changed out the propane tank so that's not the problem. I suspect over the winter mama birds spent their free time filling the gas hose with bird poop. The grill was like $200 so I don't feel like throwing it away but it doesn't work and it doesn't have a hard drive so I don't know how to troubleshoot it.

I'd love a grilled cheese sandwich right now. Next time I make one, I'm using the actual grill. I've got to find something better than the "potato loaf" bread I get at the store because it's cheap and not Wonder bread. If I can do that, it's on.

My grill will never run out of gas, so I'm going to just take advantage of being gifted with a magic item from God. They don't come around often, so I'll revel in the fact that the grill and sandwich can so demonstrate the love from Cheesus Chr- aw fuck, that's already taken this thread.

What's wrong with people.....

Fucking grilled cheese sandwich?



THE
BODY AND BLOOD AND
MAYBE THE SPOOGE AS WELL
AARDVARK

In 1994, Floridian Diane Duyser made herself a grilled-cheese sandwich. Right before taking a bite she noticed that the top of the sandwich had a striking resemblance to Jesus Christ. Instead of eating it she put it in a box, where "it never got moldy", she said.

After hanging on to the holy sammich for a full decade, she decided to sell it on eBay. "The sandwich has brought me great fortune," she said. Online gambling casino GoldenPalace.com purchased the sandwich for $28,000 and paid for it, which no one can deny is good fortune when it comes to selling ten year old grilled cheese sandwiches.

After acquiring the sandwich, GoldenPalace.com hired Diane to travel with them to state fairs around the country. To promote their gambling site they hosted grilled cheese eating contests and had Diane there on hand to display the sandwich, which travels around the country in a bulletproof suitcase.

I took the following picture of Diane and her sandwich at the 2005 Oklahoma State Fair.

http://www.robohara.com/photo/albums/Misc/State_Fair_2005/P1010013.JPG

I don't know if there's a heaven and if there is I don't know that I'll get in, but I hope to leverage the fact that I saw this sandwich to put a good word in for myself.

http://www.robohara.com/photo/albums/Misc/State_Fair_2005/P1010025.JPG

The guy with the trophy (obviously) won.