[quote="Flack"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDewUMGHXJY&NR=1[/quote]

LAWL!! Okay, this wins.

Another oldie but a goodie.

Impossible Mission for the Atari 7800 had a glitch that hid pieces of the puzzle (needed to beat the game) behind pieces of furniture that you could not search, making the game impossible to beat. Yes, the irony is thick.

If you want to read a bad ass story about the guy who programmed this game, click the below link. Two decades after it came out, the guy got tired of hearing about the bug ... so he fixed it.

http://www.robohara.com/?p=1807

Big Rigs was infamously bad. I don't know anyone personally who bought it but it got a lot of attention on the web. There are a lot of Youtube videos dedicated to this game. Here's one that shows most of the major glitches:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDewUMGHXJY&NR=1

Among other issues:

- By default, the AI cars don't move.
- There's no collision detection with the background objects. You just drive through everything.
- The game wigs out if you drive in reverse.
- You can drive up walls and off the map.
- Some of the levels don't work.

One not shown in that video is that at the beginning of the race you can just back over the finish line and then drive forward and win.

Hey, Jones, what was that game with the nine or ten CDs that you had to place each one in the drive as some kind of assurance that they were all legit? That had to suck balls.


THE
INSERT DISC XXX AND PRESS OK
AARDVARK

This may not be in the same category, but here are two other very bad game releases:

1. GLOBAL DOMINATION by Impressions, 1993: The install script worked by pkunzipping a bunch of stuff. Only pkunzip had not been included on the disk, so the installation routine went like:

A:\> gdinstall.exe
Installing...
pkunzip.exe: file not found

A:\>



2. ZOO TYCOON 2 ULTIMATE COLLECTION, a couple years ago: Came on 3 CDs. Only problem was, for the entire first printing of the game, the CDs were disc 1, disc 2, and another disc 2. So everyone had to send their shit back to Microsoft so we could all get our disc 3s.

I play so few games that I'm not in a place to offer any opinion. Like simon Cowell being a judge for Olympic figure skating or something. I will say that any game that a player cannot finish because the camera angles are so messed up that half the time you are looking at solid walls and trying to figure out how to move your character (run on sentencing here,folks) makes it a pretty poor game.
That award goes to Earthworm Jim for the Nintendo 64. I tried very hard to get past level four but could not do it because I could not see what was happening on the television. this is the horror of non movable camera positioning, Interestingly, I see a lot of this on wii games.
Anyway, most of the time my character, Jim, was behind a wall that did not become invisible. Instead it was just a large yellow thing obstructing my view of the action and I would get killed. Unacceptable! I had even bought the N64 boomerang controller in order to facilitate my gaming experience ( something I seldom do) and it just really sucked for me.


THE
WALLS HAVE EARS
BUT NOT EYES
AARDVARK


(ps i hate typing on this crap little netbook keyboardQ!)

There's only one other release I can think of that was this bad. The name of the game is [b]Front Page Sports: Football Pro 99[/b]. It is the worst game I've ever purchased, and - if I had ever finished my article about the 50 worst games I've ever played - it would have been #1 on the list.

I was just as psyched for FPS:FP99 as you were SH%, my friend. I mean, my brother and I ended up playing 20 seasons in career mode of the 96 and 98 game. Sierra's Football 99 was going to tear shit up!

What we got was the most broken I've ever seen a video game, and possibly the most broken I've ever seen a computer program. Now, I'm not saying this to top you - in fact, I'm wondering if Silent Hunter 5 was [i]more[/i] of a disaster.

Certainly, FP99 installed. It did do that.

And I was able to start a game.

I don't quite recall how teams were drafted, but I had Doug Flutie and Randy Moss. I snapped the ball. I threw a pass to Randy Moss...

... who caught it and scored a touchdown...

... and I know for a fact the defense hadn't moved. That's right, it was possible to play and not have the defense react to the ball. Not like [url=http://whodatzone.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=36236]Charles Grant[/url] here, either! But literally not react to the ball!

So that was pretty bad.

But, fuck, I don't remember [i]typos[/i].

And there was no lousy DRM.

Sierra didn't have the balls to not offer a refund, but here's what happened, and holy shit, the Wikipedia actually had good information:

[quote]A recall notice was issued for the game by Sierra Entertainment on January 21, 1999, and the game was pulled from the shelves. Lingering attachment to the series caused a few hard-core fans to attempt to fix the game on their own, but many turned their attention back to the 95 or 96 games (both of which are still played in online leagues today.)[/quote]

They gave you a choice - a month to exchange it for another Sierra game, or you could keep it. They promised to fix it. You had a month, and --

[quote]On February 22, 1999, Sierra announced a reorganization of its development divisions to more keenly focus on its key products.[/quote]

That's right. They took exchanges at the publisher level for a month and ONE FUCKING DAY after that offer expired, they said, hahah, we're not fixing it after-all. (I pirated the original Half-Life, so Sierra and I are square.)

Pretty bad. But I think Silent Hunter 5 might be worse. FP99 might have not been finished, but I never had to rely on a server being up in order to play it.

I think Silent Hunter 5 may very well be the worst game launch I'm aware of. Flack? Vark?

[quote="pinback"][b][i]MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT: THE OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE IS MARCH 4. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TALK TO ME ON THAT DAY BECAUSE I WILL BE BUSY!

(PLAYING SH5!)[/i][/b][/quote]

Boy, this certainly turned rotten, didn't it?

[quote="pinback"]#1: Silent Hunter V

[b][i]MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT: THE OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE IS MARCH 4. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TALK TO ME ON THAT DAY BECAUSE I WILL BE BUSY!

(PLAYING SH5!)[/i][/b][/quote]

Let's bring a close to this star-crossed thread.

[url=http://www.joltcountry.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=6049]As hinted at elsewhere[/url], Silent Hunter 5 is a disaster, and the biggest single letdown in the history of my life, as it pertains to video games.

First of all, I can't play it, because apparently this is the first game ever released that's capable of bringing my video card to its knees, even on the lowest setting. But that's understandable, since, I mean, as a submarine sim, it has to show you NOTHING BUT THE COLOR BLUE most of the time.

But never mind that I can't play it. Even getting to the point that I couldn't play it was full of frustration, undocumented installation routines, typos, lack of documentation, bad voice acting, and all sorts of other things I was hoping I wouldn't have to deal with this time around.

Little did I know that I was one of the lucky ones. Those who ARE able to run the game are faced with trying to salvage something from what appears to be an alpha build. Things I'm reading -- "there's no depth-to-keel function"... "your guys stay on deck even when you submerge"... "once you veer off course you can't return to the course"... "everything is fucking broken" -- I almost can't believe, but when [url=http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/frm/f/1121062387]the entire offical forum[/url] is filled with the same complaints (along with the appropriate amount of histrionics), the disbelief ends there.

And, like Jonsey said, that's all BEFORE you get to the part where their DRM servers crash and you can't play the game at all.

I've been pretty fortunate to avoid really bad game releases in the past, so I don't have a lot of authority on the matter, but it seems to me like this might possibly be the worst game release of all time, and I guess karma caught up, because it was the one game I've been looking forward to my whole life. Even as a small boy, I would stare at the stars, wondering when Silent Hunter 5 would be released.

And here we are.

And it's just a damn travesty. Gimme my $60 back.

(I preordered the Gold Edition.)

Let's get an update on these!

#5: NHL 10

I bought it, I played an entire season as the Florida Panthers, got to the Conference finals, lost to the Penguins, and never played it again. But that's... That's a lot of hours. Burnt out. See you next year for NHL 11, which will no doubt address many of the issues from this year's version!

#4: Starcraft 2

This will never come out.

#3: Empires of Steel

Aaaaha. Aaha. I, uh... I never actually got this one. I think the prospect of a new Empire game was more exciting than the reality of it. OH SWEET, NEW EMPIRE! Oh wait, that game became tiresome 15 years ago.

#2: Tropico 3

Got it! Played it! Loved it! Didn't really give it the time it deserved, though. I will be [i]going back to this.[/i] Could a Caltrops review be far behind??

#1: Silent Hunter V

[b][i]MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT: THE OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE IS MARCH 4. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TALK TO ME ON THAT DAY BECAUSE I WILL BE BUSY!

(PLAYING SH5!)[/i][/b]

I'm pretty excited for an iPhone/iPod Touch game coming out sometime next year called "Galactic Keep: Dice Battles." From the [url=http://toucharcade.com/2009/07/10/exclusive-sneak-peeks-gilded-skull-games-imp-or-oaf-and-galactic-keep-dice-battles/]single preview[/url] I've read of it, it appears to be a sci-fi themed RPG framed as a tabletop game, with dice and counters and stuff.

Also, speaking of Cryptozookeeper, I'm sorry I never took those pictures that I said I was going to. I have had quite the eventful year and a lot of stuff got pushed to the back burner. I'm still looking forward to the game!

This is what booted me in the ass to get Cryptozookeeper done. It's not even on your list! A 3+ year development cycle could kill anyone's interest.

Welcome to this new feature which is called: [b]What Is The Games That Pinback Is Looking Forward To Them Coming Out, So By Reading This Thread You Can Know About Some Games Coming Out That Pinback Is Excited About And Maybe You Would Be Too, If You Didn't Already Know About Them And Weren't Already Looking Forward To Them Also.[/b]

That is the new feature. In this feature I will count down, from #5 to #1, the games that are coming out in the next, say, year or so, that I am looking forward to enjoying.

So, without any further ado or explanation, I will now begin to count down those five. I will provide screen shots and release dates when possible. When it is not possible, I will not provide same.

[size=150][color=orange][b]#5: NHL 10[/b][/color][/size]
[b]PLATFORM: XBOX 360[/b]
[b]RELEASE DATE: 9/15/09[/b]

[img]http://moltobenny.com/nhl10.jpg[/img]

NHL 08 was the first hockey game I ever spent any real time with. NHL 09, which I bought about a week after getting NHL 08, is the game I have spent more time with on the Xbox than all the other Xbox games we have, combined. The new mode that lets you play as a single guy throughout an entire season still is the most interesting, compelling mode of any sports game I've ever played, and I've played at least three.

Robb and I nearly come to blows at least once a week arguing over whether NHL 09 is the best hockey game ever, or sucks balls because it doesn't have fucking [i]speed burst[/i]. The former is correct. I am looking forward, then, to NHL 10, because 10 is a higher number than 09, and apparently the fights are better.

Unfortunately because I am poor right now, I probably won't be able to get the game right when it's released, but I am looking forward to the time when I [i]can[/i].

[size=150][color=orange][b]#4: Starcraft 2[/b][/color][/size]
[b]PLATFORM: PC[/b]
[b]RELEASE DATE: WHO THE HELL KNOWS, POSSIBLY THIS CENTURY[/b]

[img]http://moltobenny.com/sc2.jpg[/img]

There was a time when this was far and away the #1 item on this list. There was a time when I'd gone so far as to actually [url=http://moltobenny.com/sc2/]start a semi-fictional website[/url] about the upcoming game.

That was two years ago. With delay upon delay, upon variously strange announcements -- mainly that the original release would include only the Terran campaign, and you'd have to buy the other ones individually, upon the fact that I'm a little burnt out on the whole Starcraft [i]thing[/i] right now, it's slipped down to this spot. Once the day actually gets closer, if it ever does, it might go back up.

[size=150][color=orange][b]#3: Empires Of Steel[/b][/color][/size]
[b]PLATFORM: PC[/b]
[b]RELEASE DATE: IN A MONTH OR TWO, I THINK[/b]

[img]http://moltobenny.com/eos.jpg[/img]

I found this by accident a couple days ago, and it immediately jumped up to #3! This is because it is the spiritual successor to Empire, and Empire Deluxe was the very first strategy game I ever loved.

So this is Empire, but with a few extra bells and whistles, and it's about damn time someone did a new Empire game.

[size=150][color=orange][b]#2: Tropico 3[/b][/color][/size]
[b]PLATFORM: PC[/b]
[b]RELEASE DATE: 10/20/09[/b]

[img]http://moltobenny.com/tropico3.jpg[/img]

I was already very excited about this because the original Tropico is one of my favorite games ever! You ran a tropical island, which I love, and could make money by distilling rum, which I love, and if anyone challenged your authority, you could have them shot in the face in broad daylight! Which I love!

My enthusiasm only grew, then, when I read [url=http://wargamer.com/article/2767/tropico-3]this preview[/url] which does everything but proclaim Tropico 3 the greatest computer game ever in history ever!

My enthusiasm grows [i]greater still[/i] each time I recall that I WILL be able to get this game on release date, because Jonsey gifted it to me over at Impulse, in exchange for certain services which I am not comfortable discussing in a public forum! Thank you, Ice Cream Jonsey!

But as great as my enthusiasm is for the above games, it is all dwarfed by my searing, insatiable anticipation for Pinback's Most Looked Forward To Game:

[size=150][color=orange][b]#1: Silent Hunter 5[/b][/color][/size]
[b]PLATFORM: PC[/b]
[b]RELEASE DATE: SOME TIME IN 2010[/b]

[img]http://moltobenny.com/shv.jpg[/img]

Sub Game is far and away my favorite genre. The Silent Hunter series is far and away the best of that genre.

And Silent Hunter 5 will let you walk through the boat in first-person perspective.

Aw yeah.