You can, however, argue for neither.

[quote="Ice Cream Jonsey"]I'm 36 now and I kind of think I haven't really done anything yet. Is this normal, or am I ahead/behind the curve? If you're a successful person, please identify yourself in this thread first, for the benefit of the rest of us.[/quote]
I'm 49 and I live on a Social Security Disability pension in a rented room. I sometimes suspect that certain things happen to me as part of the learning process, although I can't necessarily make the claim I believe the world is planned. For all I know Free Will might be as much of an illusion in this reality as it is in the game [i]Half Life 2[/i].

Which brings me to a relatively humorous point I catch a lot of religious people on. It is possible to argue that there is an omniscient God who knows everything. It is also possible to argue that people have free will. What they don't like is when I point out you can't argue for both at the same time; they are mutually exclusive. It is extremely funny when they eventually reach this conclusion and discover that they don't like it, because they will [i]always[/i] then claim that God doesn't interfere or do anything to change things, a claim I had never made.

I worry every day. I'm 36 and women don't get better looking after that. I want to get married but I don't even know anyone I'd date. I make slightly over wage at a job I could do in my sleep, and I live with my family and I think my welcome is wearing out. I stress out every day. I think I need anti-anxiety meds. I have no idea what I can do to make things better.

[quote="Ice Cream Jonsey"]I'm 36 now and I kind of think I haven't really done anything yet. Is this normal, or am I ahead/behind the curve? If you're a successful person, please identify yourself in this thread first, for the benefit of the rest of us.[/quote]

When did I fret?
Haven't yet. I'm 42.

You actually got me thinking whether I should or not, though!

But, I think everybody measures success differently. I guess most measure it by their job or family -- or both. Others by personal goals.

I try to keep it simple by breaking life into 3 parts, or 8 hour segments.

One third is sleep, make sure you can do it comfortably so I bought a kick ass mattress.

One third is home, make sure you like where you live and who you live with.

One third is work, make sure you enjoy being there and working with the people. Money is never at the top of the list.

If none of that works, there's always heavy drinking on Friday & Saturday nights.

-- Mike

[quote="pinback"]If you look closely enough, you find that these stories exist ONLY as thoughts. Just thoughts! Thoughts, as solid and stable as a fart in a hurricane, thoughts about me, about him and her, about "where I am in my life", about "where I should be in my life", and it seems very heavy and important, because you think these things are REAL.[/quote]

Funny related story.

I was 20 years old when I started working where I work now. One of the older guys took me under his wing and explained a lot of things to me. One thing he told me was that the "accepted rule of success in life" is that your salary should be 2x your age. I don't know if that's a real statistic somewhere or if he just made it up, but that was his rule.

For a long time I was disappointed because I was nowhere near his goal. At the age of 20 I was making $12/hour, and according to his rule, I should have been making $40/hour! I did not see how this was possible but I remember feeling inadequate about it.

A couple of years later I asked him if he knew anybody who had achieved that goal and he said sure, lots of people. Then when I started asking more questions I realized that what he meant was, if you were 20 years old you should be making $40k a YEAR ... not $40/hour.

What was funny was, by the age of 25 I was making more than $50k/year which is no where near $50/hour, but after he clarified his rule I felt so much better about myself ... which is silly since my salary was the same either way.

By the way, it took me another 10 years before I figured out that it was more important to be happy at work than it was to be rich. Not that I was ever rich or anything, but I was giving up some of my happiness for more money, which is no good.

[quote="Panic"][quote="pinback"]I stopped when I was about 33, when I saw through all of that.[/quote]
TELL US YOUR SECRET.[/quote]

Well, a couple things. We all have our "life stories" of ourselves, and of others, and we start to compare and contrast, and fret about it.

If you look closely enough, you find that these stories exist ONLY as thoughts. Just thoughts! Thoughts, as solid and stable as a fart in a hurricane, thoughts about me, about him and her, about "where I am in my life", about "where I should be in my life", and it seems very heavy and important, because you think these things are REAL.

Once it is seen that all this time you were fretting about stories which didn't exist except as thought, you have a little laugh, and it all seems much less important, much less heavy. The stories still pop up, comparison might still happen, but you can giggle at it at the same time, because it's seen to be a play of light, a play of thought, wiped out and rearranged from one moment to the next, and it's no big deal.

Also, how could things have turned out differently? When you see that of course things have turned out exactly as they had to, what's to fret about?

The world likes to play with form, and the world even needs underachieving losers like you. Nothing to worry about.

[quote="pinback"]I stopped when I was about 33, when I saw through all of that.[/quote]
TELL US YOUR SECRET.

Comparing life stories can be great fun, resulting in plenty of joy or pride or worry or misery, providing no conclusion!

But once it is seen that the stories are utterly fictitious creations of the mind, it doesn't matter so much.

I started to fret about my age just before my fifth birthday. I came to my mother, in tears, and explained that I didn't want to turn five because that was getting older and closer to death. So that's when I started.

I stopped when I was about 33, when I saw through all of that.

I'm 36 as well and I can feel 40 looming in the background. What makes me really feel old is when I forget how old I am. Like someone will ask and I'll say "35 ... wait, 36?" and then I have to do the math. I feel like the last year has been a waste ... I haven't done anything productive save for work.

So on one hand I feel older every day but on the other hand I still feel like a kid. Like, on the weekends I still wear cargo shorts and t-shirts and backwards baseball caps and I think, "this looks pretty stupid when you have gray hair." I still play video games and write about stupid stuff and all these goofy things and I'm approaching 40. When my dad was in his mid-30s I watched him remove an engine from his truck, rebuild a new engine, and swap it in. I'm in my mid-30s and I pay to have my oil changed. I suck.

I'm 28 and I work in a friggin gas station. This makes me feel older than I really am because all day kids buy "blunts" and beer that I say NO WAY are they of age. Then they whip out their ID and it says 1989 and I feel like one old coot bagging up that 40 oz for em.

So obviously I haven't done anything on the professional front. I did pop out 2 kids though - does that count for anything? I CRAVE POINTS

Age is just number. I'm hitting 44 in another month and I could care less. When I get my AARP card I'll post a photo. As far as accomplishing life goals, well, I haven't gone to Disney World and kicked mickey in the balls yet, but there's still time. I figure everything I want to do will happen eventually.


THE
GRAYING
AARDVARK

I've got a couple years on you, and I panic like a flaming motherfucker constantly. Have been doing so for about ten years.

Just now. THANKS ROBB

I'm 36 now and I kind of think I haven't really done anything yet. Is this normal, or am I ahead/behind the curve? If you're a successful person, please identify yourself in this thread first, for the benefit of the rest of us.