[quote="Vitriola"]JUMBLE ... JUMBLE ... JUMBLE ... .[/quote] Uhuh, uhuh, enthralling, what else? Does anyone know a daily puzzle service? I really don't want to pay for the newspaper and hate the smell. Lately I've been getting the jumble and crossword puzzle out of other people's papers. I've seen those grocery store puzzle books but they usually are not that good. Could anyone reccomend a website to purchase such things? Such things of a very high caliber of quality of course.

Wait, what does the impound lot care? Are they state run or something?

I got whacked with paying up for missing registration days in the past as well. That really shouldn't be legal. If you manage to "beat the system" then "the system" shouldn't whine like a bitch with a skinned knee and ask for their fucking money back just because you got over on them.

Actually, now that I think about it, maybe what happened to you happened to me, from a legal standpoint. A cop pulled me over on I-25 for "reckless driving." I'll put "reckless driving" in quotes in order to fully express my contempt for the term. (Damn, should have put "cop" in quotes as well.) I'm sure that most of the "cops" that are keeping our nation's highways and freeways safe are completely without predjudice, but this asshole saw a kid with dyed yellow hair and decided to throw the book at me.

o Speeding!! (Note: never actually told me what my speed was.)

o Changing Lanes... er... Too Quickly!! (Give me a fucking break.)

o Tailgating (Miserable fucker actually said that there should be three seconds between me and the vehicle in front of me. At rush hour. On a major highway. Apparently, even though he was 65 this was his first fucking time anywhere near a highway in his life.)

o Not Using Signal When Changing Lanes (Complete horseshit -- if he didn't see it, that's his own problem. That is my only pet peeve on the road, and I absolutely fucking [i]did[/i] signal as I was getting around the meaningless shits in my way.)

Anyway, my registration expired in New York and I didn't renew it in Colorado. It was really more that I couldn't be bothered. He impounded my car. I think, if I remember right, I had to go get the registration taken care of before I could get it out. I don't know why Colorado got the money for the lapsed registration. I would have rather given it to New York.

I'm sure when I'm 65 my opinion on this will completely change, but until then maybe Tom Morello could lay down a riff for me -- ah, yes, perfect, thanks.

Uh, there might have been something in there about my not having registered the truck since I bought it in 1998, and they wouldn't let me have it until I did that. That may have something to do with it...

[quote="Vitriola"]Oh, hell no, he'd JUMBLE drive here if he could. We're both JUMBLE broke, especially after I had to shell out $800 of my $600 in savings to get my truck out of the impoundment lot, where it was towed after I had a couple JUMBLE beers and blocked off someone's driveway after the Deicide concert Friday night. I'm so fucking metal. And stupid.[/quote]

I am guessing that you meant $80 to get it out of the impound lot? I hope that, at least. I know things are more expensive in California than they are out here, but that seems a bit much even for the L.A. of 3003, much less 2003.

[quote="Vitriola"] I've never met the guy and I should be the one getting driven to,[/quote]

Hey, where do you live? St. Louis might be closer than 400 miles.

Bruce

Oh, hell no, he'd JUMBLE drive here if he could. We're both JUMBLE broke, especially after I had to shell out $800 of my $600 in savings to get my truck out of the impoundment lot, where it was towed after I had a couple JUMBLE beers and blocked off someone's driveway after the Deicide concert Friday night. I'm so fucking metal. And stupid.

Can we get back on topic?

Jumble ppl!

Did the subject [i]refuse[/i] to drive to you, or did he just sort of twist things so that it seemed like the only real, workable scenario was that you did?

How fortuitous that I see a thread marked 'quick poll' when I was sitting here thinking to myself, can I be said to be successfully on the rebound if I'm seriously considering driving 400 miles to get laid, when I've never met the guy and I should be the one getting driven to, and if so, is there really anything wrong with that? At all? How far would y'all drive for good poontang/love missile?

Did I just say 'love missile'?

Is there really anything wrong with it, if I did?

[quote="Ben"]I want to have your abortion.[/quote]

or the alternate to that Marla line on the Fight Club DVD "I haven't had sex like that since grade school"

[quote="Ben"]5 is right out.[/quote]


BWAHAHAHAH
Brother Maynard, bring forth the Holy hand granade...

3 shall be the number of thy counting, and the number of thy counting shall be 3. No more, no less. Nor should you count to 2 unless directly preceeded by by 3, nor shalt thou can't to 4, 5 is right out.

"One, two, five!"
"three sir!"
"three"

I was raised on Monty Python.

-LG

[quote]Was he trying to pick you up?[/quote]

Yeah, I figured there was a chance that he was trying to pick me up, which I'd like to think that normally I'd handle pretty nicely (and still did anyways), but I just didn't want the guy to know where I live.

how disturbing

The sad part is that I remembered the names of the guys that write the stupid thing. I don't subscribe anymore to paper papers (print is dead) but remember the jumble well. I usually just figure out the word or phrase by the context clues in the cartoon rather than go to all that trouble actually unscrambling letters. In that regard my vote would be a yes. I sorely miss Calvin and Hobbs, The Far Side, and Bloom County. The major reason why I no longer get the paper.
[quote]the guy is patting me on the shoulder telling him how I opened his eyes [/quote]

Was he trying to pick you up? were you wearing a wool jacket at the time?

[quote]The grocery store down the street caved in due to all the snow[/quote]

Does this strike you as strange? How much snow are we talking about here? Thought about moving to somewhere where the weather does not take such an active role in greengrocers operating hours? All I can picture is those guys on skiis with the mortars. Shooting at the large mountains to kill the avalanche threat.

Anyone ever hear of PokerSam? the computer poker game that TALKS! OOooooo! A talking computer game. Let me find a sample so all can laugh at the cheesy sounds of the early eighties.


THE
RANDOM AND FOCUSED
AARDVARK

http://www.angelfire.com/dragon/worm/index.html
That is the jumble. I don't get the newspaper but I do them in the papers that my school gets.

I am drunk, and yes, I enjoy the jumble but do not partake in jumble activities much because we don't subscribe to the local newspaper. I am equally (if not more so) fond of the quiptocrip, as they extend the enjoyment of aforementioned paper by 20-40 minutes.

Part of the reason I'm so drunk is that a friend from out of town called me out to a bar a half a block away then ditched me with just one of her friends who found a guy to talk to within 3 minutes and could ignore me from then on, so I went to the bar across (which I'm pretty fond of) the street from my house, where during my second drink, I bummed a cigarette from the closest guy to me (I wasn't buying my own pack as I planning to not smoke tomorrow and actually get some exercise to remind myself why I want to quit). He then proceeded to talk to me about he was scared to go home to his girlfriend, and I couldn't tell if he was really drunk or mildly retarded to begin with (and he gave me some really weird vibes). No matter how retarded he was to begin with, I took for granted that the guy was drunk and started telling him how he should take care of himself and all that. Before long, the guy is patting me on the shoulder telling him how I opened his eyes (repeatedly), so after I left, I had to go to another bar, just in case the guy would notice that I entered the house DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET THAT CAN BE SEEN THROUGH THE WINDOW (like I said, this guy gave me weird vibes).

It kind of depresses me to no end to be the mystical bar advice giver, especially because in the past I have really appreciated random people in bars telling me weird predictions about how things will be alright, as if they can tell anything about me and know anything. Now that I am one of those guys and know how full of shit I am, I can no longer believe in the fairy tale. Oh, fucking well.

I think you're the first person (including myself) who has ever laid out that quote verbatim. You probably cheated, but I don't care:

I want to have your abortion.

Well, I got through the entire "I'd like to go on at length" paragraph before I realized that it was just incorrectly quoted text. I was all, "hey, I feel exactly the same way" for a moment there.

But now, flush with the knowledge that, truly, no one understands me, I shall mope a bit more.

This poker game sounds like a lot of fun, though. $200 you say? You know what cheers me up? Rolled up kings over aces. Check-raising stupid tourists and taking huge pots off of them. Playing all-night high-limit Hold' em at the Taj, 'where the sand turns to gold.' Stacks and towers of checks I can't even see over.

Well, I forgot to delete the rest of that message, I admit. I've lost nearly $200 in poker so far tonight, so I'm a little preoccupied planning my own death (as well as those of everyone at this fucking table.)

[quote="Ice Cream Jonsey"]What is the Jumble, then? If it's not the newspaper "Word Jumble Game" that I originally thought it was?[/quote]

It [i]IS[/i] the Word Jumble Game that you originally thought it was. But you, like the countless BILLIONS of other lay-OO-zers who have infested the internet (and let's be honest, the planet Earth), you refuse to actually read, comprehend, and answer a question.

Somebody asks, "Who likes the Jumble?", and instead of answering the goddamn question (which you never, technically, did), you assume that rather than being a question, it is a STATEMENT (i.e., "I LIEK TEH JUMBEL!!!")

This is probably why you're alone on a Saturday night, but I don't want to get into all of that.

So, if you don't mind, how about if you just let me conduct my poll, please.

WHO HERE LIKES THE FUCKING JUMBLE?????




[quote]3. Both Jonsey and I are sitting at our computers on a Saturday night, furiously clicking Refresh, hoping for some glimmer of hope that they can simulate a "social life" by typing to their computer friends.[/quote]

I'd like to go on at length about how utterly, totally and completely depressed I am, currently. I would like to do so, but I'm too far gone to even want to express it any longer. The worst part is, this complete apathy has crossed over to my real life as well. I have felt more "empty" and "without hope" this week, during these last seven days, than I ever have for any other seven days in my entire life.

I mean, shit, I had two days off from work due to all the snow and I completely pissed it all away.

The only way that I am able to cope with this is in the hopes that I can produce one (1) "funny" comment before this eve is over and make someone out there laugh. Or titter. Or smile.

This someone isn't you, though, as you are farther gone than I am. (See next)


[quote]Oh, and I'm losing at poker in the other window.[/quote]

Case in point.


[quote]
4. I am drunk, and therefore cannot remember to stop this list at 3 items.[/quote]

OK, I'm not drunk. The grocery store down the street caved in due to all the snow and I don't have enough drive to... er, drive myself to the other one.

(JC FUN FAX: The store was a King Soopers, and quite visibly out of commission due to the heaping, honking cave-in. The thing looked like it had undergone a Shock & Awe campaign of its very own. As my brother and I passed it to go to the sub shop today, he had this exchange with one of the people outside where all the pharmacy drugs were:

Mike: Hey, you guys open?
Drug d00d: .... [i][b]No.[/i][/b]

My brother keeps me sane in a way that I can not fully detail.)[/quote]