I managed to play this game till the fourth floor and... Realized I've been looking at the exact same textures for the last five or six hours.

MUST BE! Cuz I've done everything, been everywhere, tried everything, and there's just NO GOING FORWARD.

Welp, been a fun ride, Grimlock. FUCK OFF.

Maybe it's like Duck Hunt; it bugs out at the end cause no one's supposed to reach it.

Well, I'm stuck. I think I'm REAL close to the end, and I'm finally just... stuck.

I got keys, but no doors to use 'em on.

All the puzzles have been solved.

All the walls have been examined for secret switches.

Nowhere else to go.

Just...

...stuck.

Fuck this game.

BAD REVIEW FAIRY SAYS: "BAD REVIEW!!"

What you've said is, you don't like the TYPE of game that it is, rather than reviewing how well the game does what its TYPE of game does.

Which is:

Extraordinarily well.

You've given Blade Runner a bad review because you don't like Sci-Fi noir mashups.

You've given Asteroids a bad review because you don't like asteroids!

You've given Ruth's Chris a bad review because you hate steak.

The game is very dry though. When it said "old school", I expected a modernized Ishar or Eye of the Beholder. Turns out that Grimrock lacks depth. It's mostly a Dungeon Master clone; I always hated pure dungeon crawlers. They had nothing to look forward to. In games like Ishar, there was a sense of accomplishment when finishing the dungeon and returning to the upper world with the spoils, selling them or giving them to NPCs. Dungeon crawlers completely lack this aspect.

It's like the filling of an Oreo cookie; delicious when eaten together with the top and bottom biscuits, but total crap if you were to eat it from a jar with a spoon.

/ / / came out last week, my #1 Most-Looked Forward To Game. I have more thoughts on it, but let's just say that for now, it's... fine. Fine game. And the devs are excited about continuing development on it, so I have high hopes for its future.

Just because Jonsey's a good guy and a good friend, I sent him a copy as a "gift" over Steam. The only reason anyone really does this is they're hoping to get a free game in return. And wouldn't you know, ten minutes later, there was my shiny new copy of...

LEGEND OF GRIMROCK.

This is an RPG dungeon crawl in the old-style, where everything is square-based. You can go four directions. Bad guys can go four directions. Every square of every level of the dungeon looks exactly the same as every other square of every level of the dungeon.

Lame, right?

Legend of Grimrock is the best game I've played in hundreds of years. No, let me put it another way:

I remember when games were addicting. I was younger, then. Now, I still recognize that a game could be addicting, but they never really have that same pull on me.

The first thing I did after waking up and feeding the dogs this morning was run back to the computer to sit down and start playing again. I finally stopped when it was time to get dinner ready.

It's fucking addicting, it's fucking amazing, it's fucking TERRIFYING, and although right now it's starting to toe very close to the line of being fucking repetitive, it's too far in now to deny: It's fucking brilliant.

I love Legend of Grimrock, and so would you if you bought it. Buy Jonsey a game, maybe he'll send you a copy.