by Ice Cream Jonsey » Tue Apr 15, 2003 11:46 am
EB: Thanks for calling Electronics Boutique, your X-box headquarters. How can I help you?
ICJ: Hi, I just wanted to see if Postal II had arrived yet?
EB: Tomorrow.
ICJ: Ah. Can I reserve a copy?
EB: We no longer take reservations over the phone. You need to come in and deposit five dollars -- hey -- why are you laughing, you miserable little fucking ingrate
ICJ: [laughter]
Audience: [laughter]
... The whole reason I used to "reserve" games at EB was because they did all the work for me. I put my name down, they tell me it's in, I can then blow it off or go get it at my leisure. Deposit money?! Make two trips!? Another stunning victory for the crack marketing squad at the home office! See, if I COME IN to reserve my game... I'll BUY OTHER THINGS! HAHAH! It's TOO perfect!! The thing is, though, I am disgusted by their transparent attempt to get me to "impulse buy" things, I have no motivation to actually head over there and give them money, seeing how EVERYONE will have this game available tomorrow, and I'll now buy it from somebody else on principle. I wish I could work at the brain trust out in Pennsylvania for these guys. I'd keep a web log of the "big ideas" that I'd generate by rolling die or consulting crystal balls or however the fuck these drooling pieces of subhuman scum get them. "Hey, let's humiliate our workers by making them say not only that 'This is your X-box headquarters' but also their (lack of) dating prospects! If they happen to be doing well in that area, then we'll make them read off a list of embarassing social diseases or disorders, and sort of imply that they HAVE one of them! It'll be great! This will generate a serious boost in sales, too.
I need to write an article regarding the ten worst moments I had working as a "Sales Associate" at EB. I need to do this.
EB: Thanks for calling Electronics Boutique, your X-box headquarters. How can I help you?
ICJ: Hi, I just wanted to see if Postal II had arrived yet?
EB: Tomorrow.
ICJ: Ah. Can I reserve a copy?
EB: We no longer take reservations over the phone. You need to come in and deposit five dollars -- hey -- why are you laughing, you miserable little fucking ingrate
ICJ: [laughter]
Audience: [laughter]
... The whole reason I used to "reserve" games at EB was because they did all the work for me. I put my name down, they tell me it's in, I can then blow it off or go get it at my leisure. Deposit money?! Make two trips!? Another stunning victory for the crack marketing squad at the home office! See, if I COME IN to reserve my game... I'll BUY OTHER THINGS! HAHAH! It's TOO perfect!! The thing is, though, I am disgusted by their transparent attempt to get me to "impulse buy" things, I have no motivation to actually head over there and give them money, seeing how EVERYONE will have this game available tomorrow, and I'll now buy it from somebody else on principle. I wish I could work at the brain trust out in Pennsylvania for these guys. I'd keep a web log of the "big ideas" that I'd generate by rolling die or consulting crystal balls or however the fuck these drooling pieces of subhuman scum get them. "Hey, let's humiliate our workers by making them say not only that 'This is your X-box headquarters' but also their (lack of) dating prospects! If they happen to be doing well in that area, then we'll make them read off a list of embarassing social diseases or disorders, and sort of imply that they HAVE one of them! It'll be great! This will generate a serious boost in sales, too.
I need to write an article regarding the ten worst moments I had working as a "Sales Associate" at EB. I need to do this.