Woohoo, I'm 4x man!!!!

[img]http://pinback.moltobenny.com/4xman.jpg[/img]

Here, I took this screenshot for Caltrops, but it's so great I'm going to post it here too.

Anyone who loves sci-fi/strategy games has to want to lick the screen, even though it's an 8-year-old game. Nothing since has come even close.

All those shiny little stars in the background? Those are [i]places we haven't been yet.[/i]

[img]http://pinback.moltobenny.com/sword.jpg[/img]

SWORD OF THE STARS 1
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I haven't come close to completing a game. I'm 16 turns into a game in a large spiral galaxy with everyone else set on "easy".

I am prepared to admit when I was wrong.

SOTS1 is the greatest space 4X in history.

Wait, that's not quite right. Let's try it again:

It's the best looking version of Spaceward Ho! that could ever exist. Some history:

Spaceward Ho! was the first space 4x game I ever loved. How could you not love it? One, it had planets with good-cowboy hats on it or bad-cowboy hats on it. Two, your ships had faces that looked like sharks and shit. Three, it was simplified to the point of... one might say elegance?

This is what threw me about SOTS the first time, I guess. I thought it was complicated, and I just couldn't figure it out.

But it's not. It's Spaceward Ho! with the most beautiful 3D star map you will ever see.

It's for dumdums! And it's gorgeous. And I've seen previews of all of the latest round of space 4x games -- I've even seen SOTS2 -- and the SOTS1 star map is the greatest, most beautiful thing I've ever seen in gaming. Period. Take it to the fucking bank.

And not only is it beautiful, but a moron (me!) could understand it. DIS PLANET BAD!!! DIS PLANET GOOD!! OOOH LASERS!! Christ. What have I been doing with my life?

I apologize to everyone. I apologize to myself. And fuck them for screwing up the second game, and losing so much money on it that there'll never be a sequel.

But unlike every other old stale game on my hard drive, I'm not sure this needs one.

I installed Unity this weekend.

I feel I am to new gaming languages what you are to 4x games?

Okay, this is just stupid now, and I realize what my problem was. [i]I cared.[/i] I felt, why play a game that takes 20 hours to play, if you're just going to lose at the end? So my fear of losing, my [i]knowledge[/i] that I have no idea how to min/max and have no concept of 4x strategy even though I've loved the genre for 25 years has kept me from actually [i]playing[/i] these fucking things.

Well, we're gonna play them. We're going to play ALL OF THEM. Are you ready to play all of them? Because I'm going to play ALL OF THEM, win or lose, and I'm going to do my best, and I will suck and lose at them, but god fucking dammit, at least I'll have PLAYED THE FUCKING GAMES I say I love so much.

Okay?

Okay?

Okay?

Here's the list of 4x games in my window, which I will PLAY ONE FULL GAME OF. For christ's sake. And if I lose on like turn 3, I'll PLAY IT AGAIN. I want the FULL EXPERIENCE you bitches.

I want the XCOM SQUAD in Civ 5. (To my credit, I have actually completed a couple games of Civ 5, so it will probably come last.)

Here we go. Here are the games in the list:

- Endless Space
- Fallen Enchantress
- Sword of the Stars 1 (I have SOTS2 but there is no way I will play that shit if you paid me by the turn.)
- Warlock 2: The Exiled
- Pandora: First Contact
- Alpha Centauri/Alien Crossfire
- GalCiv 2
- Civ V
- Endless Legend (Early Access)

I would include the GC3 alpha but it's so lame right now there's no point, even though it's awesome. Come on, goddammit. Time to PLAY SOME GAMES.

I will record my progress here.

The above list is NOT in the order it will be played, although Endless Space is first, because jesus fuck, how long have I had that game and I've completed one? One? ONE game that lasted more than 30 minutes?

So my new approach is, who gives a fuck. I'll do my best, but hey, it's just a game. I don't know why I get my ego so involved in this shit. If you do that, you'll never be a gamer, because you will lose a lot unless you DEDICATE yourself, and then you'll just lose a lot to people even more dedicated.

Can't I just have fucking FUN WITH MY GAMES? FOR ONCE? PLEASE?

Christ.

Anyway. Here we go.

Sorry for all the drama, but I disgust myself and can't figure out why I won't just play a goddamn video game without being nervous about it.