by James Bond » Wed May 07, 2003 4:51 pm
(Can we say "bitches" in this--oh never mind.)
I first saw TNG when I was, like, 9. Ate it up, thought it was the 1337est show in life. DS9 came out, and I had an anamocity towards it that I still carry today, though I have absolutely no idea why. I've only seen one or two episodes of the show though. TOS, I've seen a few episodes of, and have heard about many more. And they are, absolutely, excellent. I'd list my favorits here, but I'd end up relating each episode I saw. That's the thing about TOS: they had outrageously different plotlines every week which set each show apart from the others, so I can't really compare them because I like each one for different reasons. But, anyway... Then, I saw Voyager. ...And ate them up like Cotton Candy. I was, oh I don't know, 12 or 13 at around this time. I thought they were good, although I didn't see very many of them. When 7 of 9 and her breasts showed up, I was like "hey, cool! A borg chick! This rules!" Then they got rid of Kess, and I was kinda like "well, that sucks--holy shit! That stunt kicked ass!" So, I off and on watch voyager for a few years. Then, all of a sudden, I realize: the show is focusing more on the *crue* than the *outside happenings*. I think I noticed this when I was watching some episode wherein Voyager is being menaced by something, (what I can't remember, although I think it was some vaguery of space and not a sencient lifeform) and I noticed at the end that they were paying attention to 7 of 9 and her thong suit's problems than they were to the ship-menacing... whatever it was. After that, I was kind of like '... Dude. I don't wanna fuckin' here about this bullshit, I'm outta here!" So, yeah. Just like that, I suddenly hated Voyager. Oh, another thing about the series: I dunno how many people noticed, but they throw in every single god damn word known to modern physacists that has anything whatsoever to do with technobable, in the hopes that they can bullshit their way through each show. (there is *no such FUCKING thing* as a crack in an event horizon! An event horizon is a *zone* around a black hole! It is mearly a *term*! It is *not* an actual object to be manipulated! There would not be a "crack" in the event horizon surrounding a black hole to stick a *needle* through, *let alone* a starship! Either there is a black hole, and thus an Event horizon, or there *isn't*! *Get it*, Paramount? Arr arr arr! *bursts into flames*)
I have not yet seen Enterprised, but I have yet to see a positive review. Oh, and on the subject of the borg? Its complete bullshit. You may remember, gentle reader, that durring First Contact there is this little scene near the beginning where the borg creates the temporal wormhole thingy (TM) and disappear through it, leaving the Enterprise in their metaphorical atomic dust. At this point, the Enterprise is *still in the future*, as evidenced by the fact that they can look out the window and still see the future Earth, which is now overrun by borg. They can *also* see the past earth through the wormhole or whatever the hell they called it. Furthermore, there is this little exchange where Data says that "the vortex is collapsing", at which point Picard orders them into it beforre it collapses, trapping them into the future. At the end of the film, Geordi (or *someone*) says that they've matched their engines (or something) to the chronometric particles that made the thing in the first place. Its unrealistic because that would actually send them two centuries into the past unless they reversed it, which they couldn't because they didn't know what they were doing, but that's beside the point. The point of all this rambling is that, since the two wormholes or vortexes or whatever the fuck they're called this week are made identically, they should react similarly. Meaning: they should collapse after, like, thirty seconds or so after they're made. So, there is no way in hell they could use that vortex.
...why the fuck are you all staring at me like that?
(Can we say "bitches" in this--oh never mind.)
I first saw TNG when I was, like, 9. Ate it up, thought it was the 1337est show in life. DS9 came out, and I had an anamocity towards it that I still carry today, though I have absolutely no idea why. I've only seen one or two episodes of the show though. TOS, I've seen a few episodes of, and have heard about many more. And they are, absolutely, excellent. I'd list my favorits here, but I'd end up relating each episode I saw. That's the thing about TOS: they had outrageously different plotlines every week which set each show apart from the others, so I can't really compare them because I like each one for different reasons. But, anyway... Then, I saw Voyager. ...And ate them up like Cotton Candy. I was, oh I don't know, 12 or 13 at around this time. I thought they were good, although I didn't see very many of them. When 7 of 9 and her breasts showed up, I was like "hey, cool! A borg chick! This rules!" Then they got rid of Kess, and I was kinda like "well, that sucks--holy shit! That stunt kicked ass!" So, I off and on watch voyager for a few years. Then, all of a sudden, I realize: the show is focusing more on the *crue* than the *outside happenings*. I think I noticed this when I was watching some episode wherein Voyager is being menaced by something, (what I can't remember, although I think it was some vaguery of space and not a sencient lifeform) and I noticed at the end that they were paying attention to 7 of 9 and her thong suit's problems than they were to the ship-menacing... whatever it was. After that, I was kind of like '... Dude. I don't wanna fuckin' here about this bullshit, I'm outta here!" So, yeah. Just like that, I suddenly hated Voyager. Oh, another thing about the series: I dunno how many people noticed, but they throw in every single god damn word known to modern physacists that has anything whatsoever to do with technobable, in the hopes that they can bullshit their way through each show. (there is *no such FUCKING thing* as a crack in an event horizon! An event horizon is a *zone* around a black hole! It is mearly a *term*! It is *not* an actual object to be manipulated! There would not be a "crack" in the event horizon surrounding a black hole to stick a *needle* through, *let alone* a starship! Either there is a black hole, and thus an Event horizon, or there *isn't*! *Get it*, Paramount? Arr arr arr! *bursts into flames*)
I have not yet seen Enterprised, but I have yet to see a positive review. Oh, and on the subject of the borg? Its complete bullshit. You may remember, gentle reader, that durring First Contact there is this little scene near the beginning where the borg creates the temporal wormhole thingy (TM) and disappear through it, leaving the Enterprise in their metaphorical atomic dust. At this point, the Enterprise is *still in the future*, as evidenced by the fact that they can look out the window and still see the future Earth, which is now overrun by borg. They can *also* see the past earth through the wormhole or whatever the hell they called it. Furthermore, there is this little exchange where Data says that "the vortex is collapsing", at which point Picard orders them into it beforre it collapses, trapping them into the future. At the end of the film, Geordi (or *someone*) says that they've matched their engines (or something) to the chronometric particles that made the thing in the first place. Its unrealistic because that would actually send them two centuries into the past unless they reversed it, which they couldn't because they didn't know what they were doing, but that's beside the point. The point of all this rambling is that, since the two wormholes or vortexes or whatever the fuck they're called this week are made identically, they should react similarly. Meaning: they should collapse after, like, thirty seconds or so after they're made. So, there is no way in hell they could use that vortex.
...why the fuck are you all staring at me like that?