I appreciate you getting the salad for lunch today. I noticed. You're making the effort and we all love you for it.

That salad blew and that's the worst part about watching what you eat: when you DO decide to go out for a meal and it blooooooooooows.

I pretty much get green chile in a bowl every time I go to a new restaurant. Everyone does it really well out here. It's on everything. It's in me.

It's in me, Flack.

I think it's a title left unclaimed at this point. I nominate Ben's Famous Green Chile Chicken Enchilasagna.

I would not nominate the grilled chicken salad from the Sports Column across from the 1up in Denver, based on today's lunch. I also would not nominate anything from Casa Bonita, unless we are talking about the gold standard for stomach cramps. Oof.

Is there a sort of .... Gold Standard towards calories, like there never was for IBM Compatibles?

[quote="pinback"]TECHNICALLY what you're talking about is KILOCALORIES, so "83562 calories" really means "under 100 calories" the way you're using the word.

(Insert seventeen pages of stories about VAX computing, Pascal, and song quotes.)[/quote]

TECHNICALLY, there's absolutely no way you slopped a bunch of ingrediants into a dish and then estimated its energy value to 5 significant digits. Though I do like the thought of you meticulously assembling these recipes just to burn them up in your bomb calorimeter right before the delivery guy arrives with your 16" meat lovers.

[img]http://www.fishsta.co.uk/titiinv03.jpg[/img]

TECHNICALLY what you're talking about is KILOCALORIES, so "83562 calories" really means "under 100 calories" the way you're using the word.

(Insert seventeen pages of stories about VAX computing, Pascal, and song quotes.)

[quote="pinback"][quote="Flack"]Pinback, can you figure up the calories?[/quote]

83562[/quote]
Well then, that's off the diet. I'm down almost 20 pounds in 4 weeks. I asked MyFitnessPal if I could have 83,562 calories for lunch today and it exploded. So I think that's a no.

Do you have a version of yourself that knows anything about cooking?

Do you have a version that doesn't overcook the everloving shit out of the driest possible cut of meat? I mean, I guess you shred it into sauce but your readers can save time by just swapping out the chicken for a box of chalk at that point.

Yes.

You are now clearly avoiding me.

[quote="Flack"]Pinback, can you figure up the calories?[/quote]

83562

Pinback, can you figure up the calories?

What happens now is we start with the yelling and

I'm writing this again, and next to each ingredient and step, I will write the average number of seconds involved. I don't mean how long it takes, I mean how long you have to actually be doing things, or in other words, we'll just see if it's actually "a lot of work". You dicks. Why you gotta make me do this.

[quote="pinback"]1 recipe "Ben's Famous Green Chile Chicken" (below)
[b]0[/b] 12 corn tortillas
[b]0[/b] 1 bag shredded cheese
[b]120[/b] 1 medium onion, sliced thin
[b]0[/b] 1 4oz can sliced black olives
[b]0[/b] 1 can green "enchilada sauce"

[b]0[/b] 1. Preheat oven to 400 or some shit.
[b]30[/b] 2. Warm up tortillas wrapped in damp paper towels in microwave for a minute.
[b]30[/b] 3. In greased/oiled baking dish (10x6 or whatever it is, who cares), pour a thin layer of the enchilada sauce to swirl and cover the bottom.
[b]30[/b] 4. Lay 6 of the tortillas, overlapping, around the dish so it's all covered and shit.
[b]30[/b] 5. Cover tortillas with a layer of Ben's Famous Green Chile Chicken
[b]20[/b] 6. Top with a bunch of cheese, and the onions.
[b]30[/b] 7. Layer remaining 6 tortillas over that shit.
[b]10[/b] 8. Pour enchilada sauce liberally over them shits.
[b]20[/b] 9. Top with remaining cheese and olives.
[b]0[/b] 10. Bake covered with foil for 15, and then uncovered for 15. Or uncovered for 30. Who cares. Bake it until it's bubbling and hot and the cheese is melted and shit.
[b]30[/b] 11. Rest for 5 minutes and serve with toppings like a squeeze of lime, fresh cilantro, sour cream, fried egg, or my favorite, all of that.

[b]TOTAL "WORK": 6 MINUTES, 20 SECONDS, AND I GAVE YOU TWO MINUTES TO SLICE THE ONION, ASSUMING YOU ARE RETARDED[/b]

Ben's Famous Green Chile Chicken

[b]0[/b] 1.5 pounds boneless skinless chicken bresses, cut into 2-3 inch pieces
[b]0[/b] 2 tbsp chili powder
[b]0[/b] 1 tsp cumin
[b]0[/b] Some salt
[b]120 YOU RETARD[/b]1 medium onion diced
[b]120[/b] 4 cloves garlic, minced
[b]0[/b] 1 4oz can diced green chiles (hot or mild, to your particular taste)
[b]0[/b] 2 cups chicken broth, or so.
[b]30[/b] Juice of one lime
[b]60[/b] 2 tbsp chopped cilantro

[b]5[/b] 1. Heat some oil in a wide saucepan or preferably Lodge(tm) brand dutch oven.
[b]20[/b] 2. Season chicken liberally with chili powder/cumin/salt mix.
[b]300[/b] 3. Brown chicken in pan, remove.
[b]240[/b] 4. Saute onion 3-4 mins.
[b]90[/b] 5. Add chiles & garlic, saute another 1-2 minutes.
[b]45[/b] 6. Add chicken back into pan, add broth. Should be enough broth to almost cover chicken, but whatever.
[b]0[/b] 7. Cover and simmer 1 hour until tender enough to shred it by just mashing it in the pan with a wooden spoon or something.
[b]60[/b] 8. Shred it by just mashing it in the pan with a wooden spoon or something.
[b]0[/b] 9. Let shredded chicken simmer another 20 minutes uncovered or until most of liquid is gone.
[b]15[/b] 10. Add lime juice & cilantro, stir, and there ya go.

[b]TOTAL: 12 MINUTES 55 SECONDS[/b]
[/quote]

[b][i]GRAND TOTAL OF "WORK" FOR A FANTASTIC FUCKING MEAL THAT YOU'LL STILL HAVE LEFTOVERS FOR TWO DAYS: 19 MINUTES, 5 SECONDS. AGAIN, ASSUMING YOU ARE A RETARD, AND ASSUMING YOU COUNT BROWNING AND SAUTEING AS "WORK", WHICH IS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE OF THAT, BUT WHATEVER.[/i][/b]

Don't you have to learn how to prepare roadkill and grits now that you've moved to the backwoods? I guess not, chiles are available all over these days. But still, culinary expansion.


THE
PAULA DEAN
AARDVARK

"A lot of work". Once you have the chicken done, it literally takes five minutes to put together, and then you just wait until it's done.

And the chicken itself? OOOoh, I gotta throw THREE THINGS into a pan and then sit on my fat ass while it boils for an hour and a half. OOOoo, DIFFICULT.

Agreed. I'd like a photo and I'd like to know how this fits into the weight loss thread.

This sounds like a lot of work. Do you have any pictures to show if it's worth it?

1 recipe "Ben's Famous Green Chile Chicken" (below)
12 corn tortillas
1 bag shredded cheese
1 medium onion, sliced thin
1 4oz can sliced black olives
1 can green "enchilada sauce"

1. Preheat oven to 400 or some shit.
2. Warm up tortillas wrapped in damp paper towels in microwave for a minute.
3. In greased/oiled baking dish (10x6 or whatever it is, who cares), pour a thin layer of the enchilada sauce to swirl and cover the bottom.
4. Lay 6 of the tortillas, overlapping, around the dish so it's all covered and shit.
5. Cover tortillas with a layer of Ben's Famous Green Chile Chicken
6. Top with a bunch of cheese, and the onions.
7. Layer remaining 6 tortillas over that shit.
8. Pour enchilada sauce liberally over them shits.
9. Top with remaining cheese and olives.
10. Bake covered with foil for 15, and then uncovered for 15. Or uncovered for 30. Who cares. Bake it until it's bubbling and hot and the cheese is melted and shit.
11. Rest for 5 minutes and serve with toppings like a squeeze of lime, fresh cilantro, sour cream, fried egg, or my favorite, all of that.


Ben's Famous Green Chile Chicken

1.5 pounds boneless skinless chicken bresses, cut into 2-3 inch pieces
2 tbsp chili powder
1 tsp cumin
Some salt
1 medium onion diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 4oz can diced green chiles (hot or mild, to your particular taste)
2 cups chicken broth, or so.
Juice of one lime
2 tbsp chopped cilantro

1. Heat some oil in a wide saucepan or preferably Lodge(tm) brand dutch oven.
2. Season chicken liberally with chili powder/cumin/salt mix.
3. Brown chicken in pan, remove.
4. Saute onion 3-4 mins.
5. Add chiles & garlic, saute another 1-2 minutes.
6. Add chicken back into pan, add broth. Should be enough broth to almost cover chicken, but whatever.
7. Cover and simmer 1 hour until tender enough to shred it by just mashing it in the pan with a wooden spoon or something.
8. Shred it by just mashing it in the pan with a wooden spoon or something.
9. Let shredded chicken simmer another 20 minutes uncovered or until most of liquid is gone.
10. Add lime juice & cilantro, stir, and there ya go.