[quote="Tdarcos"][quote="Ice Cream Jonsey"]Moron.[/quote]
And this is the best you can come up with for an insult? Lame, lame lame.[/quote]

hahaha, yeah, that was the one pal. Try reading the rest of what I wrote with your good eye.

[quote]You are a blister of putrefaction on the sunburn of the universe, awaiting the needle which will terminate your less-than-worthless existence.[/quote]

You are larger than the actual sun and snugly fit into the actual universe.

[quote="Ice Cream Jonsey"]Moron.[/quote]
And this is the best you can come up with for an insult? Lame, lame lame. You are a blister of putrefaction on the sunburn of the universe, awaiting the needle which will terminate your less-than-worthless existence.

[quote]Make your next cooking video on how my ass taste.[/quote]
As soon as you get around to turning off the continuous spew of bullshit you expel every time you open your mouth.

[quote="Tdarcos"]You know, when a woman tells how her feet hurt when she gets home from work, she doesn't want the guy to tell her to buy sensible shoes, she wants him to sympathize with her.[/quote]

I think this might be the one sentence of yours that you have the absolute least amount of life experience with. Not that it stopped you from talking like you're some kind of an intergalactic expert on all the topics anyway.

Let's go through it line by line, shall we?


[quote]You know, when a woman tells how[/quote]

This is coming from your YEARS OF EXPERIENCE living with women, Tdarcos? You better end this sentence with, "many feet the restraining order calls for."

[quote]how her feet hurt when she gets home from work[/quote]

You have no feeling in your feet and you can't hold a steady job. So you're up to three things that you have absolutely zero real-life experience with, and we haven't even gotten to the period yet. I don't mean the thing that women always seemed to be on when you were a younger, more mobile man, I mean the grammar one.


[quote]she doesn't want the guy to tell her to buy sensible shoes[/quote]

Or, in the land of Tdarconese, "all-weather radials."


[quote]she wants him to sympathize with her.[/quote]

This is what you think? Because you read it scouring Yahoo! Answers looking for the lives of others to ruin?

All of your knowledge about the outside world comes from situation comedies, blog posts and whatever news the pizza guy can give you as he exchanges the money for the pie. Don't get too big for your britches, pal. You go ahead and draw a circle on a piece of paper. You can trace around your legs as a guide. I'll draw a dot on a post-it out here. That's the distance between you and how close you are to giving advice to anyone in the real world.


[quote]We're men[/quote]

In the sense that you can't cook, I guess.


[quote]and when what we think is another man expressing a problem, we come up with a solution.[/quote]

Not looking for a solution! Although it's really my fault to think that you had the necessary perception to gauge the depth of my problem with you kitted out with one fucking good eye.


[quote]The real problem in your house is not your inability to get decent wireless coverage. The problem is that there are two pussies there.[/quote]

Yes, not wanting to have a network cable strung BEHIND MOLDING (which I let go before, you stupid fuck -- you can't put fucking network cable behind molding as it's flush to the wall, which you'd know if you'd ever lived in a place that had mold somewhere besides the sink and your spokes) with it CROSSING OVER to the FLOOR causing a BUMP that would cause anyone to trip over it, except for you, Professor XXXL, makes us all fey.

Moron.

Make your next cooking video on how my ass taste.

Best. Fucking.


Of.

I'm still in shock....

Holy crap. Tdarcos pulled through in the end. He actually posted an aggressive reply that *is* funny. Kind of.

[img]http://i.imgur.com/lm1fzR1.jpg[/img]

Suddenly the slope became very slippery.....




THE
ROLLING DOWNHILL
AARDVARK

[quote="ICJ"]I think I realize what the problem is. People are trying to help fix my problems when I want to crack jokes and tell an amusing story about my shit ass life.

There is no helping to be had.[/quote]

You know, when a woman tells how her feet hurt when she gets home from work, she doesn't want the guy to tell her to buy sensible shoes, she wants him to sympathize with her.

If you just wanted us to be your girlfriends, girlfriend, you should have said so. We're men, and when what we think is another man expressing a problem, we come up with a solution.

The real problem in your house is not your inability to get decent wireless coverage. The problem is that there are two pussies there.

[quote="Tdarcos"]Run down to Rat Shack and buy some cable clamps. They're a nail with a piece of plastic along the side that curls over, large enough to fit a wire, either a phone cable, an RG34 (cable TV coax) or Ethernet cable. You use these to nail the wire down and attach it along the wall. If you can't drill any holes you can always attach the wire tightly to the wall, say right at the top of the cove molding (but outside of it instead of inside it). Then just run it into the room.[/quote]

I... there is a trap door leading to the basement. I hear you on running it through molding, but you still have six inches of wire going from the molding to the hallway floor and then somehow into the closed trap door.

I think I realize what the problem is. People are trying to help fix my problems when I want to crack jokes and tell an amusing story about my shit ass life.

There is no helping to be had.

[quote="Ice Cream Jonsey"]
I'm getting 1.1 Mbps ... got, I hate the fucking "megabit."

I am downloading at 137.5 megabytes per second, which is the best I've ever gotten in Denver. Our Internet, thanks to Comcast is unacceptable and horrible. Flack downloaded a gig in a few seconds when I last visited him.[/quote]
You really need to explain those numbers, one day :-P

Run down to Rat Shack and buy some cable clamps. They're a nail with a piece of plastic along the side that curls over, large enough to fit a wire, either a phone cable, an RG34 (cable TV coax) or Ethernet cable. You use these to nail the wire down and attach it along the wall. If you can't drill any holes you can always attach the wire tightly to the wall, say right at the top of the cove molding (but outside of it instead of inside it). Then just run it into the room.

Paul, I love ya like a brother but a drill just ain't in the cards, brotha.

And last night I had a few hours to myself. Internet didn't work downstairs, lost 3 hours trying to fix it. I was seeing behavior where everything would be slow... I'd try to download a game via Steam... it'd spike, I'd get 500KB/s transfer speeds... and then it would go down to zero.

Infuriating. Gave up and went to bed. I also apparently can't work on Cyberganked if the Internet doesn't work.

I will mail you a cable drill if you want.

May I suggest the following. Purchase a spindle of Cat5 or Cat6 Cable depending on cost and desire for upgradability, a saw like a Dremel if you don't have it, and a nail puller or small crowbar.

Gently pull the nails to remove the cove molding along the floor leading to the room you want the wire inserted, and drill a hole in the wall at the spot where the cove molding was, large enough to allow the Ethernet cable to be fed through it. Cut the inside back bottom of the cove molding enough to create a channel large enough to fit an Ethernet cable. Do this to all of the cove molding for that floor as far as the stairs, then thread a wire out of the room, through the hole in the wall, then along the wall, reattaching the cove molding in such a manner that the Ethernet fits into the channel in the back of the cove molding.

Thank you, Flack.

The only way it could work would be if I got either a lightsaber or a portable lathe and sort of stabbed upwards through the exposed ceiling of the downstairs area / hardwood floor of the upstairs area. I have no idea what is inbetween the two sections. If I tried to cut through and had a GoPro attached to my head, I'd find myself spontaneously recording the movie Alien: Ressurection 2.

I think the best analogy I can use, for how this would venture would come across to the girlfriend would be to reverse it: If I tried that, she would feel equivalent to how I would feel if she decided that what the house really needed were some New York Yankees posters.

I really want to paint this picture for T.H.E.:

The room ICJ is talking about is a cross between The Panic Room and Buffalo Bill's holding cell from Silence of the Lambs (with possibly the well from The Ring tossed in). I am sure every time ICJ goes down there to use the computer he must first put the lotion on his skin. The door leading down to this subterranean pod is a trap door that is hidden in a hallway floor, meaning the door must be closed once you are down there so that the only hallway that leads from the living room to the kitchen can be used. In that sense it's like a submarine, that doesn't go anywhere. In fact, if ICJ is allowed to pitch home improvement ideas to his woman, I'd recommend a periscope.

It is the room that originally inspired the term "man cave." It's a perfect bubble of isolation from the world above. And I'm lost as to how you would run a network cable down there.

[quote="The Happiness Engine"]Have you ever considered, like, a cord? One with those little jack thingies on the back? Every house has some wall that's easy enough to get at, either via laundry chute, forced-air heating, or just an unseen closet wall.[/quote]

It's impossible here. There's no place to bring the wire through the floor.

I had my house wired with network cable, however. My old house was a bi-level, so the cable went from the cable modem downstairs, it traced along the stairs and went up them and then into the spare bedroom. It was glorious. Easily a hundred feet of cable. I loved it. I attached it while eating a raw steak.

Were we ever happier?

Have you ever considered, like, a cord? One with those little jack thingies on the back? Every house has some wall that's easy enough to get at, either via laundry chute, forced-air heating, or just an unseen closet wall.

I've got the following setup:

1) Cable modem owned by me, service through Comcast.
2) Wireless router that is "upstairs"
3) A WiFi Extender (TP-Link TL-WA850RE) "downstairs"
4) A new USB WiFi dongle: Panda Pauo5 300Mbps

I'm getting 1.1 Mbps ... got, I hate the fucking "megabit."

I am downloading at 137.5 megabytes per second, which is the best I've ever gotten in Denver. Our Internet, thanks to Comcast is unacceptable and horrible. Flack downloaded a gig in a few seconds when I last visited him.

But with expectations set in Denver, the above stack is the best I've managed so far. The really shitty piece was the D-Link USB network dongles I was using. They couldn't keep a frigging connection even though nothing ever moved. The Panda is, so far, a godsend.