In honor of St. Patrick's Day, I present this Scottish specialty, which will replace mashed potatoes in your recipe book forever.

BEN'S FAMOUS NEEPS & TATTIES
---------------------------------------
2 pounds peeled, diced potatoes (about four medium)
1 peeled, diced turnip
2 cups chopped savoy cabbage (or just, you know, regular cabbage, whatever you want)
1 cup cream
4 tbsp butter
3 cloved garlic, sliced

DIRECTIONS
---------------
1. Pour cream into small saucepan, add garlic, bring just to simmer, simmer very lightly for a minute or two, then lower heat to low.

2. Bring large pot of water to boil, add potatoes and turnip. Return to boil, boil for 10 minutes.

3. Add cabbage to pot. Bring back to boil, for five more minutes, or until potatoes/turnips are fork-tender.

4. Turn stove off, drain pot, shake off extra water, then return potatoes/turnip/cabbage to pot, on the same burner, so that the pot is still getting enough heat to evaporate the remaining moisture but not burn anything. Leave it there for a minute or two.

5. Add butter, salt, and pepper to taste, and about 1/4-1/2 of the cream. Mash it all up.

6. If it's too dry, add more of the cream mixture.

Simple, easy, and completely outstanding.