Tdarcos wrote:So go ahead, maybe I need more practice at being insulted in order to get my skin toughened up again.
Tdarcos wrote:"Mad About You"...so they keep buying another turkey.
This was your favorite part of that episode, right?
Tdarcos wrote:and since I could walk this happened over ten years ago
, or around 17 hippo years.
Tdarcos wrote:me and my brother went over to the Safeway in Alexandria to pick up the food for Thanksgiving.
Because the local animal park was closed for the holiday?
Tdarcos wrote:So, anyway, we pick up everything, load it into the van,
drove the van into the back of a tractor trailer, then piled everything else the store had in behind that.
Tdarcos wrote:and take it home, unload everything
that was left.
Tdarcos wrote:while my sister and (to a lesser extent) brother are busy making
bets on how quickly the ambulance would arrive.
Tdarcos wrote:my sister feels I'm too much in the way
of low flying aircraft.
Tdarcos wrote:so she doesn't want my help, except for things I can do outside of the kitchen, like peeling potatoes,
opening up jars, polishing off expired cans of cake frosting, watching the parade, basically anything to keep from provoking a feeding frenzy in you.
Tdarcos wrote:Well, she goes through and discovers we're missing a couple of items.
At no point was she surprised.
Tdarcos wrote:This is almost mandatory for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, there's usually something she forgets.
Like at what year did you start pulling objects into your orbit.
Tdarcos wrote:So I go back to the store and Bill decides to come along, I think he remembered something he wanted
Probably just felt like giving the fire department a hand this time extracting you from the van.
Tdarcos wrote:So I'm at the store picking up everything else,
literally.
Tdarcos wrote:and my sister calls me on the phone to add one more thing, rolls or jellied cranberry sauce or something.
And you interpreted "something" to mean pallets of honey buns.
Tdarcos wrote:then she mentions to me that the dogs knocked the turkey out of the oven and attacked it,
I guess dog was going to be on the menu that year.
Tdarcos wrote:and I'm reminded of the very incident in the movie, "A Christmas Story" where the Bumpass' dogs eat Ralphie's family dinner.
Normal sized people laugh during that scene.
Tdarcos wrote:So, while I'm at Safeway, I pick up another 20 pound turkey
for the cashier to scan till her shoulder blows out, while the manager is driving a tow motor out to your van.
Tdarcos wrote:When I get home, she's shocked.
That you outlived Anita O'Day.
Tdarcos wrote:She was only kidding about the dogs getting the turkey!
You still ate the dogs anyways.
Tdarcos wrote:But she says, it doesn't matter, we'll just eat it during next week
, she lies to herself.
[quote="Tdarcos"]So go ahead, maybe I need more practice at being insulted in order to get my skin toughened up again.[/quote]
[quote="Tdarcos"]"Mad About You"...so they keep buying another turkey.[/quote]
This was your favorite part of that episode, right?
[quote="Tdarcos"]and since I could walk this happened over ten years ago[/quote]
, or around 17 hippo years.
[quote="Tdarcos"]me and my brother went over to the Safeway in Alexandria to pick up the food for Thanksgiving.[/quote]
Because the local animal park was closed for the holiday?
[quote="Tdarcos"]So, anyway, we pick up everything, load it into the van,[/quote]
drove the van into the back of a tractor trailer, then piled everything else the store had in behind that.
[quote="Tdarcos"]and take it home, unload everything[/quote]
that was left.
[quote="Tdarcos"]while my sister and (to a lesser extent) brother are busy making[/quote]
bets on how quickly the ambulance would arrive.
[quote="Tdarcos"]my sister feels I'm too much in the way[/quote]
of low flying aircraft.
[quote="Tdarcos"]so she doesn't want my help, except for things I can do outside of the kitchen, like peeling potatoes,[/quote]
opening up jars, polishing off expired cans of cake frosting, watching the parade, basically anything to keep from provoking a feeding frenzy in you.
[quote="Tdarcos"]Well, she goes through and discovers we're missing a couple of items.[/quote]
At no point was she surprised.
[quote="Tdarcos"]This is almost mandatory for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, there's usually something she forgets.[/quote]
Like at what year did you start pulling objects into your orbit.
[quote="Tdarcos"]So I go back to the store and Bill decides to come along, I think he remembered something he wanted[/quote]
Probably just felt like giving the fire department a hand this time extracting you from the van.
[quote="Tdarcos"]So I'm at the store picking up everything else,[/quote]
literally.
[quote="Tdarcos"]and my sister calls me on the phone to add one more thing, rolls or jellied cranberry sauce or something.[/quote]
And you interpreted "something" to mean pallets of honey buns.
[quote="Tdarcos"]then she mentions to me that the dogs knocked the turkey out of the oven and attacked it,[/quote]
I guess dog was going to be on the menu that year.
[quote="Tdarcos"]and I'm reminded of the very incident in the movie, "A Christmas Story" where the Bumpass' dogs eat Ralphie's family dinner.[/quote]
Normal sized people laugh during that scene.
[quote="Tdarcos"]So, while I'm at Safeway, I pick up another 20 pound turkey[/quote]
for the cashier to scan till her shoulder blows out, while the manager is driving a tow motor out to your van.
[quote="Tdarcos"]When I get home, she's shocked.[/quote]
That you outlived Anita O'Day.
[quote="Tdarcos"]She was only kidding about the dogs getting the turkey![/quote]
You still ate the dogs anyways.
[quote="Tdarcos"]But she says, it doesn't matter, we'll just eat it during next week[/quote]
, she lies to herself.